35 Miscellaneous Jokes: The 2011 “Cloudy with a Chance of Dragons” Edition

In 2011, the digital and physical worlds collided in the strangest ways. It was the year we all moved to “The Cloud,” even if we weren’t entirely sure what that meant, and we started obsessing over a show where anyone could die at any moment—usually at a wedding. We watched a royal wedding on our laptops, learned that a “Plank” was a legitimate photo pose, and realized that a world made of blocks was the most addictive thing since sliced bread. It was the year of the “Thinking Different” farewell and the beginning of a much louder, faster, and more connected decade.

The 2011 Top 10: The “Siri & Skyrim” Classics

1. The Launch of Siri (iPhone 4S): Why were we asking our phones about the meaning of life? Because Apple gave us a digital assistant that could set a timer, tell a joke, and accidentally call our ex when we were just trying to find a pizza place.
2. Minecraft Full Release: Why did we stop seeing the sun? Because after years of “Alpha” and “Beta,” the blocky world officially launched, turning an entire generation into digital miners who lived in fear of a “Sssshhh” sound behind them.
3. Game of Thrones Debut: Why was everyone so nervous? Because HBO taught us that loving a character was a dangerous hobby and that “Winter is Coming” was a valid excuse for literally anything.
4. The Launch of iCloud: Why was everything in the sky? Because Steve Jobs decided that cables were “so 2010” and that our photos, music, and contacts should live in a mysterious digital mist that occasionally forgot our passwords.
5. Skyrim Release (11/11/11): Why did we all have an “arrow in the knee”? Because Bethesda gave us a world so big that we spent 300 hours picking flowers and shouting at dragons instead of doing our actual jobs.
6. The Royal Wedding (Will & Kate): Why were two billion people watching a car ride? Because in 2011, we all needed a fairy tale, and the sight of a fascinator hat that looked like a pretzel was the peak of global conversation.
7. The Launch of Snapchat: Why were the photos disappearing? Because some Stanford students realized that sometimes you want to send a selfie that doesn’t haunt your digital permanent record for the next forty years.
8. The Death of Steve Jobs: Why did the world go quiet? Because the man who put “1,000 songs in our pocket” passed away, leaving behind a legacy of glass rectangles and the realization that the “i” in everything actually meant something.
9. The “Planking” Trend: Why were people lying face-down on fences? Because 2011 was the peak of “internet logic,” where being as stiff as a board in a weird place was considered the height of comedic genius.
10. The Launch of Google+: Why was it so lonely? Because Google invited everyone to a party with “Circles,” but we all decided to stay at the Facebook house where the music was louder and our friends actually lived.

The Full 2011 Miscellaneous Jokes Archive

11. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2: Why was the cinema so wet? Because the 10-year movie journey ended, and we finally had to accept that we were adults now and no owl was coming for us.
12. The Launch of WeChat: Why was the “Green Bubble” taking over? Because in China, Tencent launched an app that would eventually do everything from paying for groceries to booking a divorce, making our phones the only thing we ever needed to carry.
13. Rebecca Black’s “Friday”: Why were we choosing which seat to take? Because a 13-year-old and a heavy dose of auto-tune created the most viral “bad” song in history, ensuring that every Friday since has been slightly more annoying.
14. The Launch of the Nintendo 3DS: Why was the screen blurry? Because Nintendo gave us 3D without glasses, and we all spent the first month squinting at Mario until we got a headache and turned the slider off.
15. Bridesmaids: Why was everyone avoid the Brazilian steakhouse? Because Melissa McCarthy and crew proved that women could be just as gross and hilarious as the “Hangover” guys, and we loved every second of it.
16. The Launch of Twitch: Why were we watching other people play games? Because Justin.tv realized that “eSports” was a real thing and that listening to a guy scream at a horror game was better than watching actual TV.
17. Adele’s “21”: Why was everyone crying in their cars? Because “Someone Like You” became the official anthem for heartbreak, proving that a piano and a powerful voice could still outsell every techno-pop song on the planet.
18. The Launch of Nest Learning Thermostat: Why was the wall looking at me? Because Tony Fadell (the “iPod guy”) decided that our thermostats should be smart, circular, and aware of our presence.
19. Portal 2: Why was the lemon so angry? Because Cave Johnson and Wheatley gave us a sequel that was funnier, smarter, and reminded us that the cake is still, very much, a lie.
20. The Launch of Siri’s Jokes: Why did the phone cross the road? Because Siri told us she wasn’t allowed to answer that question, but she could search the web for “chicken psychology.”
21. Moneyball: Why were we doing math at a baseball game? Because Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill proved that a spreadsheet and some “on-base percentage” could beat the richest teams in the league.
22. The Launch of “The Artist” (Silent Movie): Why was the theater so quiet? Because a black-and-white silent film won Best Picture, proving that in a world of 3D explosions, sometimes we just wanted to see a dog perform tricks.
23. The “Honey Badger Don’t Care” Video: Why was he so crazy? Because a narrator named Randall taught us that the honey badger is the most fearless (and disgusting) animal in the kingdom.
24. The Launch of Kindle Fire: Why did the book become a tablet? Because Amazon wanted to fight the iPad by selling a 7-inch screen for $199, which was basically just a way to make buying things from Amazon even faster.
25. The Help: Why were we talking about pies? Because Octavia Spencer gave us the most satisfying “revenge” scene in cinematic history involving a very special ingredient.
26. The Launch of Spotify in the US: Why did we stop “buying” MP3s? Because the Swedish invasion finally reached America, giving us 15 million songs for free (if we could survive the car commercials).
27. Modern Family’s Peak: Why were we all part of the Pritchetts? Because in 2011, the “mockumentary” style hit its stride, making us all feel like our dysfunctional families were actually Emmy-worthy.
28. The Launch of the “UltraBook”: Why was the PC so thin? Because Intel decided that every laptop should look like a MacBook Air, leading to a year of very skinny, very expensive computers with no ports.
29. Drive (Movie): Why was he just staring? Because Ryan Gosling in a scorpion jacket proved that you don’t need dialogue when you have a cool synth-wave soundtrack and a hammer.
30. The Launch of Silk Road: Why was the “Dark Web” in the news? Because someone decided that the Amazon of illegal things was a great idea, starting a high-stakes game of digital cat-and-mouse.
31. The “Nyan Cat” Video: Why was a Pop-Tart cat flying through space? Because 2011 was the year that a 24-hour loop of a rainbow cat became a valid way to spend your weekend.
32. The Launch of “Cards Against Humanity”: Why were we so mean? Because a Kickstarter project gave us a “party game for horrible people,” and we all realized our friends were way darker than we thought.
33. Battlefield 3 vs. Modern Warfare 3: Why was the floor shaking? Because the great “FPS War” reached its peak, and we all had to decide if we preferred “Destruction 2.0” or “Michael Bay-style” set pieces.
34. The Launch of “Siri” Easter Eggs: Why did I ask Siri to “open the pod bay doors”? Because Apple’s engineers were clearly bored and gave us a phone that could quote 2001: A Space Odyssey.
35. New Year’s Eve 2011: Why were we so hyped for 2012? Because according to the Mayans, the world was ending in 12 months, so we figured we might as well enjoy the last year of the internet before the apocalypse.