31 Celebrity Jokes: The 2020 “Quarantine & Tiger Kings” Edition

In 2020, the world turned into a giant waiting room. We all became sourdough bread experts, learned that “you’re on mute” was the sentence of the year, and realized that a guy with a mullet and a tiger collection was the only thing we could all agree to watch. It was the year celebrities sang “Imagine” from their mansions while we fought over toilet paper.

The 2020 Top 10: The “Zoom & Tiger King” Classics

1. Joe Exotic (Tiger King): Why was a man in a sequin shirt the king of 2020? Because in March, we were so desperate for a distraction that a murder-for-hire plot involving big cats and “Carole Baskin” felt like a perfectly normal Tuesday.
2. The “Imagine” Video: Why did Gal Gadot and her famous friends confuse the world? Because in 2020, they thought singing about “no possessions” from their 10-bedroom villas would make us feel better about running out of pasta and hand sanitizer.
3. Zoom Meetings: Why did everyone only dress from the waist up in 2020? Because we realized that as long as your Wi-Fi worked and your cat didn’t walk across the keyboard, nobody needed to know you were wearing pajama bottoms for the third week in a row.
4. Parasite (Oscars): Why did 2020 start with a bang? Because Bong Joon-ho won Best Picture and told us all to “drink until next morning,” unaware that we’d soon be drinking at home for the next six months straight.
5. The Sourdough Obsession: Why was everyone a baker in 2020? Because we had so much time on our hands that naming a jar of fermented flour “Bread-ict Cumberbatch” felt like a major life achievement.
6. TikTok Dances (Renegade): Why was everyone moving their arms in their kitchen? Because in 2020, if you couldn’t do a 15-second dance routine to a song you didn’t know, did you even exist in quarantine?
7. Animal Crossing: New Horizons: Why was everyone obsessed with a tanuki named Tom Nook? Because in 2020, paying off a virtual mortgage on a desert island was the only financial progress any of us were making.
8. The Last Dance: Why was Michael Jordan a superstar again in 2020? Because without live sports, we spent five weeks watching him take everything “personally” and reminding us that he’s still the GOAT.
9. Toilet Paper Hoarding: Why was a 12-pack of Quilted Northern the most valuable celebrity accessory of 2020? Because we realized that in an apocalypse, we don’t need gold—we just need 3-ply comfort.
10. The Weeknd (Blinding Lights): Why was he wearing bandages on his face? Because in 2020, he was the only one who could visually represent how we all felt after trying to cut our own hair at home.

The Full 2020 Celebrity Jokes Archive

11. Tenet: Why was the plot so confusing? Because Christopher Nolan decided that in 2020, we needed a movie where people talk backwards, mostly because we all wanted to go back to 2019 anyway.
12. Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion (WAP): Why was everyone talking about “buckets and mops”? Because in 2013, they released a song so scandalous that even conservative pundits had to read the lyrics out loud to a shocked nation.
13. Among Us: Why was everyone so “sus”? Because in 2020, we realized that the only way to bond with our friends was to trap them in an electrical room and lie to their faces.
14. Hamilton (Disney+): Why was July 4th so musical? Because Lin-Manuel Miranda brought Broadway to our living rooms, and we all realized we still didn’t know all the words to “Guns and Ships.”
15. Taylor Swift (Folklore & Evermore): Why did Taylor go into the woods? Because in 2020, she decided that if she couldn’t tour, she’d just release two masterpiece albums and make us all feel like we were living in a cottage with a cardigan.
16. The Queen’s Gambit: Why did everyone buy a chessboard? Because Anya Taylor-Joy made staring at a ceiling and moving wooden pieces look cooler than any nightclub in 2020.
17. Dolly Parton: Why was she the hero of the year? Because in 2020, she funded a vaccine, read us bedtime stories, and reminded us that she’s been working 9 to 5 for our benefit this whole time.
18. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Why was he back? Because in 2020, Sacha Baron Cohen realized that reality was already so weird he didn’t even have to try that hard to prank people.
19. The Umbrella Academy (Season 2): Why were they in the 60s? Because in 2020, the past looked much safer than the present, even with an impending nuclear apocalypse.
20. Harry Styles (Watermelon Sugar): Why was he eating fruit on a beach? Because in 2002, he wanted to give us three minutes of summer high before we went back to our social distancing.
21. The Snyder Cut (Announcement): Why were fans so happy? Because in 2020, the internet proved that if you complain for three years, a movie studio will eventually give you what you want.
22. Black Is King: Why was it so beautiful? Because Beyoncé decided that even in a pandemic, she was going to deliver a visual masterpiece that made our sweatpants look even sadder.
23. Billie Eilish (No Time to Die): Why was the Bond movie delayed? Because in 2020, “No Time to Die” became “No Time to Go to the Cinema.”
24. Cobra Kai (Netflix Move): Why were we all doing karate? Because in 2020, we realized that the rivalry between Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence was the only drama we needed.
25. Drake (Toosie Slide): Why did he make a dance about his house? Because in 2020, “right foot up, left foot slide” was the only exercise we were getting in our hallways.
26. Schitt’s Creek (Emmys): Why did they win everything? Because in 2020, we all needed a show about a family losing everything and finding out that love and “Ew, David!” were enough to survive.
27. Wonder Woman 1984: Why was she in the 80s? Because in 2020, the most powerful thing she could do was give us a reason to pay for HBO Max and wonder why there was a magical wishing stone.
28. Emily in Paris: Why were people so mad at her? Because in 2020, we were jealous of anyone who could travel to France, wear a beret, and have a job that involved just posting selfies.
29. The Mandalorian (Season 2): Why was Luke Skywalker there? Because in 2020, we needed a Jedi Master to show up and remind us that some secrets are worth keeping until the finale.
30. Nathan Apodaca (Doggface2082): Why was a man on a skateboard drinking cranberry juice? Because in 2020, “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac was the only vibe that could keep us sane.
31. The Year 2020: Why did it feel like a decade? Because we spent the whole time waiting for 2021, only to realize that the sequel might be just as long.