37 Celebrity Jokes: The 2016 “Pokémon GO & Demogorgons” Edition

In 2016, the world was literally walking into poles trying to catch digital monsters, traveling to the “Upside Down” with a group of kids on bikes, and witnessing Leonardo DiCaprio finally end the world’s longest-running Oscar meme. It was the year of the “Mannequin Challenge,” the rise of Harambe, and the moment we realized that 140 characters could change the course of history.

The 2016 Top 10: The “Pokeballs & Statuettes” Classics

1. Pokémon GO: Why did everyone stop looking at the road in 2016? Because Nintendo convinced the entire planet that catching a Rattata in a pharmacy parking lot was more important than basic survival instincts.
2. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar: Why did 2016 feel like a glitch in the matrix? Because Leo finally won his Oscar, and the internet suddenly realized it had to find a new celebrity to feel sorry for.
3. Stranger Things: Why were we all obsessed with Eggo waffles and 80s synthesizers? Because in 2016, a girl named Eleven proved that friends don’t lie, but they do spend a lot of time hiding in basements from flower-faced monsters.
4. Harambe: Why did a gorilla become the biggest celebrity of 2016? Because the internet decided that the only way to process a tragedy was to turn it into a meme that lasted longer than most actual Hollywood careers.
5. Beyoncé (Lemonade): Why was every man in 2016 nervous? Because Beyoncé released an album that turned “Becky with the good hair” into public enemy number one and made baseball bats the must-have accessory for angry wives.
6. The Mannequin Challenge: Why did the world freeze in 2016? Because we decided that the most entertaining thing we could do was stand perfectly still while Rae Sremmurd played in the background, proving we were all ready for a nap.
7. Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool): Why was a superhero movie so rude? Because in 2016, Deadpool proved that you can break the fourth wall and the box office as long as you have a red suit and a very inappropriate sense of humor.
8. The Cubs Win the World Series: Why did 2016 feel like the end of a curse? Because the Chicago Cubs finally won after 108 years, proving that even a century of “Wait until next year” eventually runs out of time.
9. James Corden (Carpool Karaoke): Why were all the celebrities in a car? Because in 2016, we realized that watching Adele or Adele or Lady Gaga sing their own hits in traffic was the only therapy we could afford.
10. Brangelina (The Split): Why did 2016 feel so cold? Because Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie officially ended, proving that if the most beautiful couple on Earth can’t make it work, the rest of us should probably just give up.

The Full 2016 Celebrity Jokes Archive

11. Drake (Views): Why was he sitting on top of the CN Tower? Because in 2016, Drake wanted to make sure he could see everyone who was still dancing to “One Dance” from a safe distance.
12. Finding Dory: Why did it take 13 years? Because in 2016, we realized that Dory had just been trying to remember where the recording studio was the whole time.
13. Kanye West (Famous): Why was there a giant bed in his video? Because in 2016, Kanye decided that the best way to start a feud was to put everyone in a wax sculpture slumber party.
14. Ghostbusters (Remake): Why was the internet so mad? Because in 2016, we learned that some people are more afraid of four funny women than they are of actual ghosts.
15. Lin-Manuel Miranda: Why was he everywhere? Because in 2016, Hamilton was the only thing anyone talked about, and we all pretended we understood the historical references while rapping along.
16. Zootopia: Why was the sloth so slow? Because in 2016, Disney used a DMV-working sloth to represent the exact speed of our internet connection when we were trying to download Pokémon GO.
17. Sia (Cheap Thrills): Why didn’t she need money? Because in 2016, she had a wig, a dancer named Maddie, and a beat that made us all feel like “Friday night” was a permanent state of mind.
18. Game of Thrones (Battle of the Bastards): Why was it so muddy? Because in 2016, Jon Snow proved that being the main character means you can survive 10,000 horses running directly at your face.
19. Suicide Squad: Why was the Joker barely in it? Because in 2016, Jared Leto sent everyone weird gifts just to find out that most of his scenes ended up on the cutting room floor.
20. Rihanna (Work): Why couldn’t we understand the lyrics? Because in 2016, Rihanna realized that “wa-wa-wa-wa-wa” was more than enough to dominate the charts for 10 weeks.
21. The Chainsmokers (Closer): Why were they never getting older? Because in 2016, this song played so much that time actually stopped moving forward for a while.
22. Arrival: Why were the aliens obsessed with circles? Because in 2016, Amy Adams proved that the key to intergalactic peace is a whiteboard and a very confusing grammar lesson.
23. La La Land: Why were they dancing in traffic? Because in 2016, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling convinced us that jazz and sunset tap-dancing could cure a bad day—until the Oscars happened.
24. The Oscars (Moonlight vs. La La Land): Why was the wrong envelope so famous? Because 2016 ended by proving that even if you think you’ve won, there’s always a plot twist waiting in the wings.
25. Moana: Why was the ocean so helpful? Because in 2016, Disney proved that a girl, a demigod, and a very stupid chicken were all you needed to save the world.
26. Bruno Mars (24K Magic): Why was he wearing so much silk? Because in 2016, he arrived to remind us that “Uptown Funk” wasn’t a one-time thing and that pinky rings are still cool.
27. Batman v Superman: Why did they stop fighting? Because their moms were both named Martha, proving that in 2016, coincidence was the strongest superpower of all.
28. David Bowie & Prince: Why was the sky so purple? Because in 2016, the stars started looking a lot different after we lost the two most creative souls in music history.
29. Fantastic Beasts: Why was Newt Scamander so shy? Because in 2016, we realized that animals in a suitcase are much easier to handle than the actual Wizarding World politics.
30. Hiddleswift: Why was Tom Hiddleston wearing an “I Heart T.S.” shirt? Because in 2016, we learned that even a Marvel villain can be a very enthusiastic boyfriend for a summer.
31. Westworld: Why were the robots so depressed? Because in 2016, they realized that being a host in a theme park is basically just like having a corporate job but with more shooting.
32. The 1975: Why was everything pink and neon? Because in 2016, Matty Healy decided that “Somebody Else” was the official anthem for everyone crying into their iPhones.
33. Zayn (Pillowtalk): Why was he so loud? Because in 2016, he wanted to make sure everyone knew he was definitely not in One Direction anymore.
34. Doctor Strange: Why was the city folding? Because in 2016, Benedict Cumberbatch proved that magic is basically just advanced geometry and a very loyal cape.
35. The Year 2016: Why did it feel like a fever dream? Because it was the year we realized that reality is just a series of memes we haven’t scrolled past yet.
36. Justin Bieber (Love Yourself): Why was he being so blunt? Because in 2016, he told us that if we like the way we look that much, we should probably just go and love ourselves (and we did).
37. The Ending: Why did we want it to stop? Because 2016 was like a rollercoaster that only had drops and no brakes.