Why did we want a Mach 5 missile in 2012? So we can deliver “Democracy” to the other side of the world faster than the target can finish their breakfast.
Part of the 33 Military Jokes: The 2012 “Mayan Apocalypse & Budget Cuts” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2023 Archive: The "Prigozhin" Plane Crash
Why was the August crash "Surprising"? To absolutely nobody. In 2...read more »
34 Military Jokes: The 2017 “Mother of All Bombs & Fire and Fury” Edition
In 2017, the military realized that "Strategic Patience" was offi...read more »
2024 Classic: The "Tactical" Fitness (Smart Rings)
Why? Because in 2024, you aren't "Combat Ready" unless your finge...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 2024 “Thermite Dragons & Jamming Junkies” Edition
In 2024, the military realized that if your equipment isn't "EW-H...read more »
2025 Classic: The "Combat Camera" Swarm View
Why the "Hive" perspective? To make sure the taxpayers feel like ...read more »
33 Military Jokes: The 2012 “Mayan Apocalypse & Budget Cuts” Edition
In 2012, the military survived the supposed Mayan end of the worl...read more »
2024 Vintage: The "Cyber" Awareness 2024
Why the panic? Because we realized that "Smart Toasters" in the b...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Nuclear" AI-Trigger
Why the debate? Because we’re not sure if giving the "Red Button"...read more »
2024 Vintage: The F-35 "TR-3" Software
Why was the "Lightning II" sitting on the tarmac? Because it was ...read more »
2024 Vintage: The "Artillery" Renaissance
Why did we go back to 155mm shells? Because in 2024, we realized ...read more »
😜 More from category: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2023 Legacy: The "Blueberry" Navy Uniform Ghost (2023)
Why do I still see it? Because some traditions—and some bad fashi...read more »
34 Military Jokes: The 2002 “Axis of Evil & Anaconda Boots” Edition
In 2002, the military was busy trying to find a needle in a hayst...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 2025 Final Vibe
Why was it the "Year of the Swarm"? Because we realized that the ...read more »
38 Military Jokes: The 1999 “Targeting & Timeline” Edition
In 1999, the military was living on the edge of a digital apocaly...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
Better than the bonus features on my new discs!
Syncing this joke to my handheld device.
I crashed my snake because I was laughing.
Oh my god, they killed me with laughter!
Professional humor for professional people.
I’m not saying it’s aliens... but it’s aliens.