Why did the Pentagon ban fitness trackers in 2018? Because the “Heat Maps” showed exactly where Special Ops guys were jogging in the middle of a “deserted” desert—proving that the best way to find a secret base is to look for a glowing circle of high-intensity cardio.
Part of the 38 Military Jokes: The 2018 “Space Force & Strava Maps” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2025 Archive: The Hypersonic "Cruise" Mode
Why the Mach 7 upgrade? To deliver a "Message of Peace" so fast t...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Nuclear" Exercise (Steadfast Noon)
Why the noise? To remind everyone that the "Big Sticks" are still...read more »
2025 Legacy: The "Blueberry" Navy Ghost (2025)
Why is there still one guy? Because he’s the "Time Traveler" of t...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 1997 “Cyber-Strike & Global Hawk” Edition
In 1997, the military world was obsessed with "Information Superi...read more »
2024 Vintage: The "Cyber" Awareness 2024
Why the panic? Because we realized that "Smart Toasters" in the b...read more »
2024 Classic: The "Stryker" Anti-Drone Cage
Why the "Birdhouse" look? To prove that the best defense against ...read more »
2024 Vintage: The "Black Sea" Evacuation
Why did the Russian Navy move to Novorossiysk? To prove that "Com...read more »
36 Military Jokes: The 2016 “Mosul Siege & Commercial Drones” Edition
In 2016, the military realized that a $500 drone from an electron...read more »
34 Military Jokes: The 2015 “Sandcastles & Russian Wings” Edition
In 2015, the global military landscape looked like a game of Risk...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 2014 “Little Green Men & Caliphate Chaos” Edition
In 2014, the military world got a 19th-century wake-up call in th...read more »
😜 More from category: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2025 Archive: The "Space Force" Marines
Why did they finally get a moon base plan? To prove that "Interga...read more »
33 Military Jokes: The 2012 “Mayan Apocalypse & Budget Cuts” Edition
In 2012, the military survived the supposed Mayan end of the worl...read more »
2024 Vintage: The Dragon Drones
Why did 2024 see "Fire from the Sky"? Because someone realized th...read more »
2024 Legacy: The "Bio-Metric" ID 2.0
Why the palm scan? To make sure that the person holding the rifle...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
I searched for "gold" and found this joke.
Oops, I laughed again!
Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool and laughing.
Get your ass to Mars! And take this joke!
I’m doing my part! Are you? (Laughing).
All your jokes are belong to us! Take off every zig!
All the search engines agree: this is funny.
Posted on my blog: "Why this site is awesome".
Grinding for levels and laughs since 1999.
Caaaaarl! That was a funny one!