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Home » The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2005 Archive: The Divorce Settlement

2005 Archive: The Divorce Settlement

 Why did the lawyer get the Netflix account? Because he proved he was the only one who actually understood the “one-disc-at-a-time” policy.

Part of the 51 Lawyer Jokes: The 2005 “YouTube Launch & HR Nightmares” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Archive: The Smart Contract Breach
 Why did the lawyer sue the blockchain? Because the "self-executi...read more »
The Robin Hood Logic
Stealing from the rich and giving... to the legal team.My lawyer ...read more »
46 Lawyer Jokes: The 2001 “Shredders & Shell Companies” Edition
In 2001, the "Dot-com" party was officially over, replaced by the...read more »
52 Lawyer Jokes: The 2020 “Zoom Court & Force Majeure” Edition
In 2020, the legal world went remote. It was the year of the "Vir...read more »
The 10% Rule
Math for beginners in the world of settlements.What do you call a...read more »
The Two Hearts
Medical anomalies found only in the courtroom.A lawyer was in a c...read more »
2025 Vintage: The SpaceX Colony Law
 A lawyer started a "Mars Division." He’s currently billing for "...read more »
2025 Legacy: The Internship
 The intern was happy. He was told he was a "Bio-Logic Validator,...read more »
The Cold Heart
A temperature check on the legal system.Why did the lawyer go to ...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Deepfake Alibi
 In 2025, every criminal has an alibi. "That wasn't me robbing th...read more »

😜 More from category: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Vintage: The Closing Argument
 A lawyer crossed the road to serve a subpoena to a "Fully Autono...read more »
44 Lawyer Jokes: The 2015 “Smartwatch & The Blue-Black Dress” Edition
In 2015, "the dress" divided families, and the Apple Watch conque...read more »
50 Lawyer Jokes: The 2025 “Silicon Souls & Billable Sentience” Edition
In 2025, "I think, therefore I bill" became the industry's offici...read more »
2025 Classic: The Final Summary
 A lawyer wanted to be buried with a "Fast Charging Cable" just i...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Y2K_Bug_Hunter07/31/2011 12:02The only bug I found today was a laughing bug!
@Simpson_Quotes10/20/2013 02:51D’oh! Why didn’t I think of that joke?
@Married_With_Kids03/20/2002 23:04Better than a day at the shoe store, Al!
@Lord_Of_Rings_Sam04/11/2004 21:50I can’t carry it for you, but I can laugh with you!
@Bill_The_Pai_Mei09/20/1999 16:41You must learn the five-point-palm-exploding-laugh technique.
@Nu_Metal_Kid12/03/1998 20:30I did it all for the nookie... and the jokes!
@Linkin_Park_Fan05/01/2000 03:41In the end, it doesn’t even matter... how hard I laugh!
@Web_Crawler_9604/27/1995 04:12Crawled my way to this hilarious page.
@Xanga_Skin_Maker01/19/2001 11:11This joke fits my Xanga theme perfectly.
@Clans_Leader_9908/23/2008 00:55Recruiting more funny jokes for our team!

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