2000 Classic: The Reflex
He hit my knee with a digital hammer. It gave him a readout of my “Kicking Velocity.” Part of the 58 Doctor Jokes: The 2000… Read More »2000 Classic: The Reflex
1998 Archive: The 911 Call
“Operator, my husband is having a heart attack!” “Is he breathing?” “Yes, but he’s doing it in a way that my lawyer says is technically… Read More »1998 Archive: The 911 Call
1997 Archive: The “Black Budget” Rumors
Why were people talking about Area 51 in 1997? To distract the public from the fact that the most “Secret” thing in Nevada was how… Read More »1997 Archive: The “Black Budget” Rumors
1997 Legacy: The Second Term Curse
Why is the first year of a second term so hard? Because you’ve already promised everything to everyone, and now they actually expect you to… Read More »1997 Legacy: The Second Term Curse
1996 Legacy: Seal’s Triumph
Why did “Kiss from a Rose” win Record and Song of the Year? To prove that all you need is one Batman soundtrack to become… Read More »1996 Legacy: Seal’s Triumph
1996 Vintage: The Mariah Carey Shock
Why did Mariah leave with zero awards despite 6 nominations? Because the Academy decided “One Sweet Day” was too much sugar, and in 1996, everyone… Read More »1996 Vintage: The Mariah Carey Shock
1995 Legacy: The Spider
There was a spider in the bathtub. I was the designated “Exterminator,” even though I was more scared than she was. Part of the 55… Read More »1995 Legacy: The Spider
1995 Archive: The Sly Award
Why was Stallone nominated for Judge Dredd? For proving that he is “The Law,” but definitely not “The Critic’s Choice.” Part of the 34 Razzie… Read More »1995 Archive: The Sly Award