2019 Archive: The Hourly Rate
Why did the lawyer charge for the time he spent “watching a TikTok”? “Social media sentiment analysis and viral liability monitoring.” Part of the 48… Read More »2019 Archive: The Hourly Rate
2017 Archive: The Sean Spicer Cameo
Why was it the shock of the night? Because the former White House Press Secretary rolled out on a podium to joke about crowd sizes,… Read More »2017 Archive: The Sean Spicer Cameo
2017 Vintage: The Wikipedia “Personal Appeal” (Year 7)
Why did the intern give $2.75? Because he realized he couldn’t have written his thesis without Jimmy Wales. Part of the 78 Office Groaners: The… Read More »2017 Vintage: The Wikipedia “Personal Appeal” (Year 7)
2017 Legacy: The Fidget Diagnosis
I told the doctor I’m feeling restless. He didn’t give me a pill; he just handed me a neon-green fidget spinner and said, “Spin this… Read More »2017 Legacy: The Fidget Diagnosis
2016 Classic: Album of the Year
Why 1989? Because Taylor Swift turned 80s nostalgia into a global currency that the Grammys were desperate to invest in. Part of the 36 Grammy… Read More »2016 Classic: Album of the Year
2016 Classic: Song of the Year
Why “Thinking Out Loud”? Because Ed Sheeran wrote the official “first dance” song for every wedding until the year 2050. Part of the 36 Grammy… Read More »2016 Classic: Song of the Year
2015 Classic: The Revenant Commitment
Why did Leonardo DiCaprio eat raw bison liver? Because he knew that if he suffered enough on camera, the Academy would finally feel too guilty… Read More »2015 Classic: The Revenant Commitment
2014 Classic: The Flint Water Crisis Begins
Why was the water brown? Because the government decided that “Cost-Cutting” was more important than “Not Poisoning the Citizens,” proving that some “Efficiency Experts” should… Read More »2014 Classic: The Flint Water Crisis Begins
2014 Vintage: The “Happy” Overload
Why was the host so energetic? Because Pharrell’s song played so many times that the guests were legally required to clap along, even if they… Read More »2014 Vintage: The “Happy” Overload
2013 Legacy: The Laser Printer Transition
The congregation admiring how clean and sharp the text looks in the weekly bulletin because the office finally replaced the old ink-smeared mimeograph machine with… Read More »2013 Legacy: The Laser Printer Transition