Why did the blonde get excited…
Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? The box said 2-4 years.
Why do blondes wear underwear? To…
Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.
What kind of math do owls…
What kind of math do owls like? Owl-gebra!
The Speeding Ticket
Fighting the law and sometimes, remarkably, winning. I told my lawyer I was guilty. He said, “Don’t worry, we’ll find a technicality that says the… Read More »The Speeding Ticket
The 100-Yard Dash
Speed and distance are key to a healthy family dynamic. My mother-in-law and I have a great relationship. We live exactly 100 miles apart, and… Read More »The 100-Yard Dash
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! It’s a bit of a literal farm-to-table observation.
2025 Vintage: The Best Adapted Screenplay
Why did Conclave win? For showing that a room full of Cardinals choosing a Pope is basically just a high-stakes version of the Oscar voting… Read More »2025 Vintage: The Best Adapted Screenplay
2025 Classic: The Werner Herzog Influencer
“I look into the void of the socket and I see only the cold, indifferent cruelty of nature. Use code WERNER for 20% off bulbs”.… Read More »2025 Classic: The Werner Herzog Influencer
2025 Legacy: The Frank Ocean “The 10-Year Tease”
Why the cryptic photo? For Frank posting one blurred image of a studio monitor, causing a 48-hour global meltdown before disappearing for another year. Part… Read More »2025 Legacy: The Frank Ocean “The 10-Year Tease”
2025 Archive: Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl
Why was the 2025 Super Bowl halftime so intense? Because Kendrick performed in bootcut jeans and spent 15 minutes making “loaded eye contact” with the… Read More »2025 Archive: Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl