2021 Legacy: The Hybrid Physical
My doctor did a physical exam where he checked my throat via Zoom but checked my reflexes in person. I felt like a half-downloaded file.… Read More »2021 Legacy: The Hybrid Physical
2020 Classic: The 5G Tower
Why did the blonde wear a tinfoil hat to bed? She heard the 5G towers were trying to “upload” dreams. Part of the 62 Classic… Read More »2020 Classic: The 5G Tower
2019 Vintage: The Cats Catastrophe
Why did Cats win 6 Razzies? Because it’s the only movie where the most realistic part was the actors’ collective desire to be literally anywhere else. Part… Read More »2019 Vintage: The Cats Catastrophe
2018 Archive: The Arctic Monkeys “Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino”
Why the moon base? For Alex Turner ditching the guitars for a lounge piano and a beard, confusing every “Do I Wanna Know?” fan. Part… Read More »2018 Archive: The Arctic Monkeys “Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino”
2018 Vintage: The Carpeted Altar Trackway
The sanctuary platform featuring thick, deep-pile red carpeting that preserves the exact footprints of the altar servers for several hours after the service ends. Part… Read More »2018 Vintage: The Carpeted Altar Trackway
2018 Archive: The Vice Transformation
Christian Bale became Dick Cheney. At this point, I’m convinced Bale can turn into a cloud if the role requires it. Part of the 75… Read More »2018 Archive: The Vice Transformation
2017 Vintage: The Police
Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Police. / Police who? / Police let me in! Part of the 48 Classic Knock-Knock Jokes: The 2017 Spinner… Read More »2017 Vintage: The Police
2016 Classic: The Leo Oscar
“Leo finally won an Oscar! Anything is possible!” “Great. Does that mean it’s possible for you to clean the garage?” “Let’s not get crazy, Martha.” Part… Read More »2016 Classic: The Leo Oscar
2016 Archive: The “Dab” Craze
Why did the skeletons look like they were sneezing into their elbows? Because in 2016, “dabbing” was the only way to express joy, victory, or… Read More »2016 Archive: The “Dab” Craze
2016 Legacy: Hillary vs. Trump
Why was the TV always on? Because the most surreal election in history turned every dinner table into a debate stage and every tweet into… Read More »2016 Legacy: Hillary vs. Trump