2018 Archive: The A Star Is Born
A girl starts singing “Shallow” at the top of her lungs. A guy joins in with a deep growl. The bartender says, “I’m off the… Read More »2018 Archive: The A Star Is Born
2018 Classic: The Quiet Place Date
Why is a 2018 marriage like the movie A Quiet Place? Because the moment you make a single sound (like opening a bag of chips), a monster (the… Read More »2018 Classic: The Quiet Place Date
2018 Classic: The USMCA Agreement
Why did we rename NAFTA? Because changing the name of a trade deal is the easiest way to tell your supporters you “won” without actually… Read More »2018 Classic: The USMCA Agreement
2018 Vintage: The The Meg Sharks
Why was the 4th so “Large”? Because 2018 was the year of “Jason Statham vs. a 75-foot shark,” making the pool feel a lot less… Read More »2018 Vintage: The The Meg Sharks
2017 Vintage: The Lewis Hamilton 4th Title
Why was Sebastian Vettel frustrated? Because Lewis won his fourth world championship, moving ahead of his rival and into the all-time greats category. Part of… Read More »2017 Vintage: The Lewis Hamilton 4th Title
2017 Vintage: The “Total Force” Stress
Why the Reservists? Because they were on their 6th tour and they’ve started calling their MREs “Vintage 2014.” Part of the 34 Military Jokes: The… Read More »2017 Vintage: The “Total Force” Stress
2017 Vintage: The Scroll
I’m “rolling” through the crypto-charts. Part of the 117 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Fidget Spinner & Switch Edition (2017) archive. Historically Verified
2017 Archive: The Solar Eclipse Break
Why did the entire company go outside at 2 PM? To wear cardboard glasses and look at a shadow, proving that even a celestial event… Read More »2017 Archive: The Solar Eclipse Break
2016 Legacy: The Harambe
A guy raises his glass and says, “This one is for Harambe!” The whole bar goes silent and everyone pours a little beer on the… Read More »2016 Legacy: The Harambe
2015 Legacy: Best Dance/Electronic Album
Why Syro by Aphex Twin? Because the Grammys finally acknowledged the guy who’s been making weird noises in a dark room since the 90s. Part… Read More »2015 Legacy: Best Dance/Electronic Album