2014 Archive: The 22 Jump Street
“I’m going to college!” “You’re 40. The only ‘Jump Street’ you’re doing is jumping to conclusions about why the neighbors are louder than us.” Part of the… Read More »2014 Archive: The 22 Jump Street
2013 Archive: The Anchorman 2 Shark
Why the wait? For a sequel that proved Ron Burgundy is still classier than anyone else, especially when he’s nursing a baby shark back to… Read More »2013 Archive: The Anchorman 2 Shark
2013 Archive: The James Blake “Overgrown”
Why the Mercury Prize? For the man who turned electronic music into a haunting, soulful experience that made everyone lean in. Part of the 42… Read More »2013 Archive: The James Blake “Overgrown”
2013 Archive: The “Counting Stars” OneRepublic
I’m not counting money; I’m counting stars. Mostly because I’m a millennial and I can’t afford the money part yet. Part of the 65 Observational… Read More »2013 Archive: The “Counting Stars” OneRepublic
2013 Classic: The 30-Second Rule
Why was the orchestra so aggressive? Because Neil Patrick Harris had seven more dance numbers to get through before midnight. Part of the 38 Emmy… Read More »2013 Classic: The 30-Second Rule
2012 Vintage: The Technicality
Why did the lawyer sue December 21st, 2012? For “failure to end the world as advertised,” causing a loss of “apocalypse-related billable opportunities.” Part of… Read More »2012 Vintage: The Technicality
2011 Classic: The File
I’m “storing” my life in the digital ether. Part of the 124 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Siri & Blocky World Edition (2011) archive. Historically Verified
2010 Legacy: The Bee
I’m “buzzing” with every notification. Part of the 115 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Instagram & iPad Edition (2010) archive. Historically Verified
2010 Legacy: The Mikey
Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Mikey. / Mikey who? / Mikey is lost! Part of the 50 Classic Knock-Knock Jokes: The 2010 New Decade… Read More »2010 Legacy: The Mikey
2009 Vintage: The 30-Second Rule
Why the “Wrap It Up” music? Because Neil Patrick Harris had a whole closing number planned and he wasn’t going to let a Supporting Actor’s… Read More »2009 Vintage: The 30-Second Rule