2009 Archive: The Watchmen
I told her I’m Dr. Manhattan—I see all of time at once. She said, “Then you should have seen that bill coming last month.” Part… Read More »2009 Archive: The Watchmen
2007 Vintage: The Bar Stool
“The only place where you can’t get a signal.” Part of the 78 Bar Jokes: The 2007 “iPhone & Mad Men” Edition archive. Historically Verified
2007 Legacy: The Duck
I’m “quacking” up at the auto-correct. Part of the 177 Classic Punny One-Liners: The iPhone & Hashtag Edition (2007) archive. Historically Verified
2007 Vintage: The Velour Tracksuit Decline
Why did the hallway look different in September? Because the iconic velvet tracksuits with rhinestones on the back were suddenly deemed “uncool,” forcing everyone to… Read More »2007 Vintage: The Velour Tracksuit Decline
2006 Archive: The Moon
I’m “phasing” out my old hobbies. Part of the 162 Classic Punny One-Liners: The “You” & Twttr Edition (2006) archive. Historically Verified
2004 Vintage: The Motorola Battery
Why was the man standing by the airport bathroom? Because the RAZR looked cool, but the battery lasted about as long as a sneeze. Part… Read More »2004 Vintage: The Motorola Battery
2004 Vintage: Charlize Theron’s Transformation
Why did she win Best Actress? Because she proved that if a gorgeous supermodel puts on 30 pounds and prosthetic teeth, the Academy will give… Read More »2004 Vintage: Charlize Theron’s Transformation
2004 Vintage: Worst Actor Runner-up
Why Ben Affleck? For proving that Paycheck wasn’t just a title—it was his only motivation for being on set. Part of the 35 Razzie Awards Jokes: The… Read More »2004 Vintage: Worst Actor Runner-up
2003 Classic: The Bartender’s Tip
“A dollar a drink keeps the bad jokes away.” Part of the 69 Bar Jokes: The 2003 “Finding Nemo & iTunes Store” Edition archive. Historically… Read More »2003 Classic: The Bartender’s Tip
2003 Classic: The Italian Job Minis
Why the cars? For a heist movie that was basically a 2-hour commercial for BMW, making everyone want a car that can drive down stairs.… Read More »2003 Classic: The Italian Job Minis