Shuffling across an outdated avocado-green carpet in thick wool socks, creating enough electrical voltage to shock anyone who attempts to hand you a cup of… Read More »2023 Classic: The Shag Carpet Static Surge
Why the “The Great War”? Because Taylor Swift fans actually managed to make the US government investigate why it’s so hard to buy a concert… Read More »2022 Archive: The Ticketmaster Meltdown
Printing the annual parish deficit summary on bright, fluorescent-green copy paper so that no family can claim the serious budget warning got lost among regular… Read More »2022 Vintage: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
A guy asks, “Is this the real bar or a simulation?” The bartender hits the counter. “Does that sound like code to you?” Part of… Read More »2021 Classic: The Matrix Resurrections
Why so quiet? Because in 2021, “It’s a domestic issue” became the favorite phrase for “We have enough problems.” Part of the 39 Military Jokes:… Read More »2021 Vintage: The “Strategic” Silence on Myanmar
Why Silk Sonic? Because they decided that 2021 needed 1974 vibes, more velvet, and a whole lot of “Leave the Door Open.” Part of the… Read More »2021 Vintage: Bruno Mars & Anderson .Paak
I’m “slowly” losing track of time. Part of the 119 Classic Punny One-Liners: The “You’re On Mute” Edition (2020) archive. Historically Verified
What did the lawyer say to the IT guy? “Can you make my eyes look like they’re looking at the camera when I’m actually reading… Read More »2020 Archive: The Tech Support
Why was the 2019 cooler so specific? Because “Ain’t no laws when you’re drinking Claws,” and the aunts were convinced that spiked seltzer counted as… Read More »2019 Classic: White Claw Summer
Why did he win Director and Picture? To show that “Monsters” are just “People” who haven’t had their coffee yet. Part of the 42 Oscars… Read More »2018 Archive: The Guillermo del Toro Double
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