39 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2007 “I Know Who Killed My Career & Norbit’s Nightmares” Edition

In 2007, the 28th Razzie Awards witnessed a double-threat of cinematic destruction. It was the year Lindsay Lohan played her own imaginary twin in a movie that redefined “muddled,” and Eddie Murphy decided that the only person talented enough to co-star with Eddie Murphy was three more versions of Eddie Murphy.

The 2007 Razzie Red Carpet Top 10: “Twins, Tubbies & Total Turkeys”

1. The I Know Who Killed Me Sweep: Why did it win a record-breaking 8 Razzies? Because Lindsay Lohan managed to win Worst Actress twice in the same night—once for each twin—proving that even with two of her, the acting was still missing.
2. The Norbit Transformation: Why did Eddie Murphy win three Razzies for one movie? Because he played the hero, the villain, and the bride, proving that “multi-tasking” is just another word for “nobody on set dared to say no.”
3. The Blue Ribbon Mystery: Why was the I Know Who Killed Me plot mocked? Because a movie involving a robotic hand, a strip club, and an imaginary twin is less of a thriller and more of a cry for a screenplay doctor.
4. Daddy Day Camp’s Replacement: Why was Cuba Gooding Jr. a target? Because replacing Eddie Murphy in a sequel to a movie that wasn’t even that good is like being the backup singer for a tribute band.
5. The Bratz Invasion: Why were the four leads nominated as a group? Because the Razzies decided that “Girl Power” in this case just meant “Powerfully bad dialogue and enough lip gloss to lubricate a tank.”
6. Epic Movie’s Parody: Why was it a target? For proving that putting “Movie” in the title doesn’t make it one, and that referencing a popular film is not the same thing as having a joke.
7. Ghost Rider’s Hair: Why was Nicolas Cage nominated? Because his CGI hair was so distracting that audiences forgot he was a stuntman who sold his soul to the devil.
8. Captivity’s Marketing: Why was it hit? Because the billboards were so offensive they were banned, which was lucky for the public, as it saved them from seeing the actual movie.
9. The Number 23 Obsession: Why Jim Carrey? For proving that he can be just as unintentionally funny in a serious thriller as he is intentionally funny in a comedy.
10. The Next Prophecy: Why Nicolas Cage (again)? For playing a man who can see two minutes into the future—which is exactly how much time he should have spent deciding not to do this movie.

The Full 2007 Razzie Jokes Archive

11. Worst Picture: Why I Know Who Killed Me? Because it’s the only movie that makes you feel like you’re the one being tortured.
12. Worst Actor: Why Eddie Murphy in Norbit? For giving a performance that made people nostalgic for The Adventures of Pluto Nash.
13. Worst Actress: Why Lindsay Lohan? For playing a stripper-slash-writer who is so confused by her own life that the audience just gives up.
14. Worst Supporting Actor: Why Eddie Murphy as Mr. Wong? For an accent and a prosthetic job that the Razzies found less “transformative” and more “problematic.”
15. Worst Supporting Actress: Why Eddie Murphy as Rasputia? For proving that a fat suit and a bad attitude are the Razzie equivalents of an Oscar-winning transformation.
16. Worst Director: Why Chris Sivertson for I Know Who Killed Me? For directing a film where the most believable character was a prosthetic limb.
17. Worst Screenplay: Why I Know Who Killed Me? For a story so nonsensical that even the characters in the movie didn’t seem to believe it.
18. Worst Remake or Rip-off: Why I Know Who Killed Me? Because it ripped off better movies and somehow lost the plot in the process.
19. Worst Screen Couple: Why Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan? Because the only thing worse than one Lohan giving a bad performance is two of them doing it at the same time.
20. The “Norbit” Fat Suit: Why was it a joke? Because Hollywood spent millions to make Eddie Murphy look like a character that nobody wanted to see.
21. The “Bratz” Fashion: Why was it hit? For making a movie that felt like a 90-minute commercial for things that break within two days.
22. The “Ghost Rider” Pointing: Why Nicolas Cage? For his signature move of pointing at things intensely while his face turns into a flaming skull.
23. The “Daddy Day Camp” Deficit: Why Cuba Gooding Jr.? For winning an Oscar and then immediately trying to see how fast he could lose the respect of the critics.
24. The “Underdog” CGI: Why was it nominated? For proving that a flying dog with the voice of Jason Lee is exactly as annoying as it sounds.
25. The “Are We Done Yet?” Sequel: Why Ice Cube? For proving that the answer to the title’s question should have been “Yes” after the first movie.
26. Worst Actor Runner-up: Why Nicolas Cage? For a year that proved he will say yes to any script that doesn’t actively set him on fire (and even then, he’ll do it).
27. Worst Actress Runner-up: Why Diane Keaton for Because I Said So? For proving that even an icon can be trapped in a movie that feels like a very long Hallmark card.
28. Worst Supporting Actor Runner-up: Why Jon Voight for four different movies? For being the Razzies’ favorite target whenever he’s in a movie involving treasure or national secrets.
29. Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up: Why Nicolette Sheridan for Code Name: The Cleaner? For proving that Desperate Housewives was a much better place for her than a Cedrick the Entertainer comedy.
30. The “Wild Hogs” Vibe: Why was it a target? For making middle-aged men on motorcycles look like a threat to the concept of comedy.
31. The “Evan Almighty” Budget: Why was it hit? For spending $175 million on a flood movie that was mostly just Steve Carell growing a beard.
32. The “Licence to Wed” Burn: Why Robin Williams? For playing a priest so intrusive he made the audience want to stay single forever.
33. The “Good Luck Chuck” Vibe: Why Dane Cook and Jessica Alba? For a movie so “un-charming” it should have been called “Bad Luck Audience.”
34. The “Halloween” Remake: Why Rob Zombie? For taking Michael Myers and giving him a backstory that nobody asked for and everyone hated.
35. The “Pathfinder” CGI: Why was it hit? For being a movie where you couldn’t see the action because the screen was too dark, which was actually a blessing.
36. The “Primeval” Crocodile: Why was it nominated? Because a movie about a serial killer crocodile was marketed as a serial killer thriller, and the Razzies don’t like being bait-and-switched.
37. The “Perfect Stranger” Twist: Why Bruce Willis and Halle Berry? For an ending so stupid it made Catwoman look like a masterpiece of logic.
38. The “Fred Claus” Vibe: Why Vince Vaughn? For playing Santa’s brother as just “Vince Vaughn in a hat.”
39. The 2007 Final Razzie Vibe: Why was it a landmark? Because it was the year the Razzies had to admit that sometimes, one person (Eddie or Lindsay) can be a disaster all by themselves—multiple times.