35 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2004 “Catwoman, Alexander & White Chicks” Edition

In 2004, the 25th Razzie Awards hit a quarter-century milestone by witnessing one of the most legendary “acceptances” in history. It was the year an Oscar winner clawed her way to the bottom, a historical epic became a hysterical mess, and the Razzies decided that even the President wasn’t safe from a golden raspberry.

The 2004 Razzie Red Carpet Top 10: “Leather, Lycra & Political Roasts”

1. The Catwoman Mic Drop: Why did Catwoman dominate? Because Halle Berry became the first A-lister to personally show up with her real Oscar in one hand and her Razzie in the other, thanking Warner Bros. for casting her in a “piece of s***” movie.
2. Alexander’s Wig: Why was Colin Farrell nominated? Because his blonde highlights in Alexander were more distracting than the fact that a Macedonian king spoke with a thick Irish accent.
3. The White Chicks Undercover: Why were the Wayans brothers a target? Because their “undercover” makeup made them look less like socialites and more like high-budget sleep paralysis demons.
4. George W. Bush’s Leading Role: Why did the President win Worst Actor? Because the Razzies decided his “performance” in the documentary Fahrenheit 9/11 was the most convincing work of fiction that year.
5. The Basketball Scene: Why was Catwoman mocked? Because the flirtatious one-on-one basketball game featured so many quick cuts that audiences actually required motion sickness medication just to finish the scene.
6. Ben Affleck’s Streak: Why was he nominated for Surviving Christmas? To prove that winning the previous year for Gigli wasn’t a fluke—it was a commitment to excellence in bad decision-making.
7. The Superbabies Disaster: Why was Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 nominated? Because it proved that the only thing worse than talking babies is talking babies using terrible CGI and mid-90s wire-fu.
8. Britney’s Chewing Gum: Why did Britney Spears win Worst Supporting Actress? For her 15-second clip in Fahrenheit 9/11 where she popped gum while declaring blind faith in the government—the shortest performance to ever win a Razzie.
9. The Scooby-Doo Sequel: Why Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed? For proving that if you can’t make the first one good, the logical Hollywood step is to make a second one twice as loud.
10. The “Worst Excuse” Category: Why did The Cat in the Hat win “Worst Excuse for an Actual Movie”? To remind everyone that Mike Myers’ giant cat suit was a haunting image that Dr. Seuss never intended for the human eye.

The Full 2004 Razzie Jokes Archive

11. Worst Picture: Why Catwoman? Because it’s the only movie that manages to make the original character look like a complete stranger to the script.
12. Worst Actor: Why George W. Bush? For proving that sometimes real life is just a very poorly directed movie.
13. Worst Actress: Why Halle Berry? For giving an emotional speech that was significantly better than any of her lines in the actual film.
14. Worst Supporting Actor: Why Donald Rumsfeld? Because the Razzies felt that “Worst Supporting Actor” was a fair title for his role in the Iraq War narrative.
15. Worst Supporting Actress: Why Britney Spears? For proving that you don’t even need to be an “actress” to be the worst one of the year.
16. Worst Director: Why Pitof for Catwoman? For choosing a name that sounds like the noise a director makes when they give up.
17. Worst Screenplay: Why Catwoman? For dialogue that was so “catty” it technically counts as animal cruelty.
18. Worst Screen Couple: Why George W. Bush and either Condoleezza Rice or his book My Pet Goat? Because the chemistry between a president and a children’s book was the only tension in Fahrenheit 9/11.
19. Worst Remake or Sequel: Why Scooby-Doo 2? Because it’s the only sequel that makes you wish the “meddling kids” had never started their van.
20. The “Alexander” Length: Why was it a joke? Because three hours of Oliver Stone’s history lesson felt longer than the actual conquest of Persia.
21. The Halle Berry Manager Joke: Why did she bring her manager on stage? To tell him to “read the script next time” instead of just counting the zeros on the check.
22. The “Surviving Christmas” Release: Why was it mocked? Because the movie was so bad it was released in October, presumably so people would forget it by December.
23. The “Jersey Girl” Snub: Why Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez again? Because the Razzies were almost tired of picking on them—almost.
24. The “White Chicks” Makeup: Why was it a target? For proving that “invisible” makeup only works if you don’t look like a porcelain doll that’s about to come to life and kill everyone.
25. The “Van Helsing” CGI: Why was it nominated? For taking every classic monster and turning them into digital cartoons that looked like they belonged in a 2004 video game.
26. Worst Actor Runner-up: Why Ben Affleck? For proving that Paycheck wasn’t just a title—it was his only motivation for being on set.
27. Worst Actress Runner-up: Why Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story? For proving that some fairy tales should definitely stay in the storybook.
28. Worst Supporting Actor Runner-up: Why Lambert Wilson in Catwoman? For playing a villain who was so forgettable that audiences forgot he was the villain while he was still on screen.
29. Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up: Why Sharon Stone? For Catwoman, where she played a cosmetics mogul whose “evil” plan involved a face cream that makes your skin fall off.
30. The “Chronicles of Riddick” Joke: Why Vin Diesel? For proving that “deep space” is where his emotional range usually stays.
31. The “Envy” Vibe: Why Ben Stiller and Jack Black? For making a comedy about “dog poop” that was exactly as funny as the subject matter suggests.
32. The “Alexander” Accent: Why was it hit? For the Greek soldiers who sounded like they were all from different parts of a very confused world tour.
33. The “Exorcist: The Beginning” Mention: Why? For proving that some prequels are better left “un-begun.”
34. The Budget Burn: Why Catwoman? Because $100 million is a lot of money to spend on a movie that grossed less than a cat’s vet bill.
35. The 2004 Final Razzie Vibe: Why was it a landmark? Because Halle Berry proved that being a “good loser” is the best way to win a Razzie—by setting the award on fire later.