35 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2024 “Madame Web, Joker’s Duet & Borderlands” Edition

In 2024, the 45th Razzie Awards feasted on a catastrophic year for superhero movies and legendary directors. It was the year Sony’s spider-less spider-movie became a global punchline, the Joker decided to sing through a sequel that left fans in tears (the bad kind), and Francis Ford Coppola spent $120 million of his own wine money to prove that “visionary” can also mean “completely confusing.”

The 2024 Razzie Red Carpet Top 10: “Webs, Wallets & War-Paint”

1. Madame Web’s Future: Why did Madame Web win Worst Picture? Because it’s the only superhero movie where the most exciting thing that happens is a vision of a better movie that never actually starts.
2. Joker’s Bad Romance: Why did Joaquin Phoenix and Lady Gaga win Worst Screen Combo? Because their musical chemistry in Folie à Deux was less “shared psychosis” and more “shared desire to leave the theater.”
3. Dakota’s Honesty: Why did Dakota Johnson win Worst Actress? For giving a performance that proved she was more entertained by the movie’s disastrous press tour than by the actual script.
4. Coppola’s Megalo-Mess: Why did Francis Ford Coppola win Worst Director? For Megalopolis, a “magnum opus” so baffling that it made his own actors look like they were reciting the terms and conditions of a software update.
5. Jerry’s Pop-Tart: Why did Jerry Seinfeld win Worst Actor? For Unfrosted, a movie about a breakfast pastry that managed to be exactly as dry and flaky as its subject matter.
6. The Borderlands Loot: Why was it a target? Because Eli Roth managed to take a vibrant, chaotic video game and turn it into a movie that felt like a very long, very gray loading screen.
7. Jon Voight’s Marathon: Why did he win Worst Supporting Actor? For appearing in four different movies (Megalopolis, Reagan, Shadow Land, Strangers) and giving the same “get me out of here” look in all of them.
8. The Joker 2 Musical: Why did it win Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off or Sequel? Because the only thing people found “folie” was the decision to turn a gritty crime drama into a boring courtroom musical.
9. Madame Web’s ADR: Why was the dialogue mocked? Because half the lines were clearly recorded in a broom closet months later, making every conversation look like a badly dubbed foreign film.
10. The Razzie Redeemer – Pamela Anderson: Why did she win? For her critically acclaimed turn in The Last Showgirl, proving that after nearly 30 years since her Barb Wire win, she’s finally escaped Razzie hell.

The Full 2024 Razzie Jokes Archive

11. Worst Picture: Why Madame Web? Because the Razzies decided that “seeing the future” should have included seeing this nomination coming.
12. Worst Actor: Why Jerry Seinfeld? For proving that “What’s the deal with bad movies?” is a question he can now answer personally.
13. Worst Actress: Why Dakota Johnson? For playing a psychic who was seemingly the only person on set who didn’t know the movie was going to be a disaster.
14. Worst Supporting Actor: Why Jon Voight? For a career year where he apparently decided that any script with his name on it was “good enough.”
15. Worst Supporting Actress: Why Amy Schumer for Unfrosted? For being the “filling” in a movie that nobody wanted to take a bite of.
16. Worst Director: Why Francis Ford Coppola? For proving that if you’re a legend, you can afford to confuse the world on your own dime.
17. Worst Screenplay: Why Madame Web? For a script that was so messy it felt like it was written by the spiders, for the spiders.
18. Worst Remake or Sequel: Why Joker: Folie à Deux? For taking a billion-dollar hit and making it a movie that even the Joker wouldn’t find funny.
19. Worst Screen Couple: Why Phoenix and Gaga? For proving that two Oscars and a lot of singing don’t equal a single spark of chemistry.
20. The Borderlands Casting: Why was it hit? For hiring Kevin Hart and Cate Blanchett to stand in a desert and look like they were in a different movie.
21. The Madame Web Pepsi: Why the product placement? Because the Pepsi logo had more character development and better screen time than the secondary heroes.
22. The Joker 2 Box Office: Why was it hit? For proving that the only thing “twice” about the sequel was how much money it lost compared to the first one.
23. The Reagan Biopic: Why was it nominated? For a movie so “on the nose” it was basically a three-hour campaign ad from 1984.
24. The Argylle Cat: Why was it a target? For a CGI feline that was almost as unconvincing as the movie’s triple-twist plot.
25. The Megalopolis Voice-over: Why was it hit? For a movie that felt like a philosopher’s convention where everyone forgot to bring their notes.
26. Worst Actor Runner-up: Why Joaquin Phoenix? For going from an Oscar win for the first Joker to a Razzie nod for the sequel—the ultimate “clown” move.
27. Worst Actress Runner-up: Why Cate Blanchett for Borderlands? For proving that even a Queen of cinema can’t survive a movie that looks like a rejected Fortnite skin.
28. Worst Supporting Actor Runner-up: Why Tahar Rahim in Madame Web? For playing a villain whose primary motivation was apparently “having a really bad day with some puffy paint.”
29. Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up: Why Emma Roberts? For Madame Web, a film where her most important role was just being pregnant in the 70s.
30. The Crow Remake: Why was it hit? For proving that some dark legends are better left in the 90s with their original soundtracks.
31. The Harold and the Purple Crayon Burn: Why Zachary Levi? For a movie that tried to draw a profit and only managed to draw a blank.
32. The Kraven the Hunter Delay: Why was it joked about? For a movie that spent so much time being delayed that the audience actually aged out of wanting to see it.
33. The Unfrosted Logic: Why the Pop-Tarts? Because Jerry Seinfeld discovered that the origins of breakfast food are not the high-stakes drama he thought they were.
34. The Rebel Moon Carry-over: Why was Zack Snyder hit? For a sequel that was so “epic” it actually managed to feel smaller and more boring than the first part.
35. The 2024 Final Razzie Vibe: Why was it a landmark? Because it was the year of the “Prestigious Flop,” where directors with 10 Oscars between them proved that nobody is safe from the Golden Raspberries.