37 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2015 “50 Shades of Grey & Fantastic Flops” Edition

In 2015, the 36th Razzie Awards were dominated by a “sexy” movie that was accidentally hilarious and a superhero reboot so bleak it made the audience wish for a villain to actually end the world. It was a year where an Oscar winner went from the podium to the pits of Jupiter, proving that even a golden statue can’t protect you from a bad script.

The 2015 Razzie Red Carpet Top 10: “Handcuffs, Hairpieces & Heavy Sighs”

1. The 50 Shades Sweep: Why did Fifty Shades of Grey win 5 Razzies? Because it’s the only movie that makes BDSM feel as adventurous as organizing a sock drawer in a very quiet room.
2. The Fantastic Four Disaster: Why did it tie for Worst Picture? Because Josh Trank managed to make a movie about people with superpowers where the most exciting thing that happens is a long meeting about government funding.
3. Eddie Redmayne’s Whisper: Why did he win Worst Supporting Actor for Jupiter Ascending? Because he went from winning an Oscar for The Theory of Everything to playing a space villain who spoke entirely in raspy breaths and sudden screams.
4. The Chemistry Deficit: Why did Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson win Worst Screen Couple? Because they had all the romantic tension of two people waiting for a root canal in a shared lobby.
5. The Pixels Problem: Why was Adam Sandler back? Because Pixels proved that the only thing more annoying than a 1980s video game is a 2015 Adam Sandler movie about 1980s video games.
6. Paul Blart’s Return: Why was Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 a target? Because nobody in history ever watched the first one and said: “This needs more segments involving a Segway and a bird.”
7. The Mortdecai Mustache: Why was Johnny Depp nominated? Because his performance was 5% acting and 95% twirling a piece of facial hair that had more personality than the plot.
8. The Pan Prequel: Why was it hit? Because turning Peter Pan into a “chosen one” prophecy involving Nirvana songs was the kind of “creative” choice that keeps the Razzies in business.
9. Gwyneth Paltrow’s Return: Why was she nominated for Mortdecai? For proving that her most convincing role is still someone who would never, ever watch a movie like Mortdecai.
10. The Sylvester Stallone Redeemer: Why did he win the Redeemer Award? For going from a guy with more Razzies than anyone in history to an Oscar nominee for Creed—proving that you can always go back to the ring.

The Full 2015 Razzie Jokes Archive

11. Worst Picture: Why a tie between Fifty Shades and Fantastic Four? Because the Razzies couldn’t decide if they hated “boring kink” or “boring superheroes” more.
12. Worst Actor: Why Jamie Dornan? For playing a billionaire playboy with the charisma of a high-end office chair.
13. Worst Actress: Why Dakota Johnson? For spending the whole movie looking like she was trying to calculate how much her agent was getting paid for this.
14. Worst Supporting Actor: Why Eddie Redmayne? For proving that “Space Royalty” mostly involves having a very sore throat.
15. Worst Supporting Actress: Why Kayley Cuoco? For her voice work in Alvin and the Chipmunks 4 and The Wedding Ringer—the ultimate “paycheck” combo.
16. Worst Director: Why Josh Trank? For a movie so messy that he actually tried to disown it on Twitter before it even opened.
17. Worst Screenplay: Why Fifty Shades of Grey? For dialogue that sounded like it was translated from a dream by a very confused computer.
18. Worst Remake, Rip-off or Sequel: Why Fantastic Four? For being the third time Hollywood tried to make this work and the third time they failed.
19. Worst Screen Couple: Why Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson? Because their “inner goddesses” clearly wanted to be in different ZIP codes.
20. The “Jupiter Ascending” Logic: Why Channing Tatum? For playing a half-human, half-wolf space warrior who wore gravity boots but couldn’t lift the movie off the ground.
21. The “Human Centipede 3” Burn: Why was it nominated? For being a movie that is literally impossible to watch without wanting to erase your own memory.
22. The “Seventh Son” Vibe: Why Jeff Bridges? For a performance where his accent was so thick he sounded like he was trying to eat his own beard.
23. The “Hot Pursuit” Burn: Why Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara? For a comedy that was about as fast and funny as a traffic jam in the rain.
24. The “Transporter Refueled” Logic: Why? For proving that the franchise ran out of gas the second Jason Statham left the car.
25. The “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip” Burn: Why? Because at the fourth movie, even the chipmunks looked like they wanted to be hibernating.
26. Worst Actor Runner-up: Why Johnny Depp? For Mortdecai, a film that felt like a very expensive inside joke that nobody else got.
27. Worst Actress Runner-up: Why Mila Kunis for Jupiter Ascending? For spending two hours falling off things while wearing a very nice dress.
28. Worst Supporting Actor Runner-up: Why Kevin James for Pixels? For playing a President whose only skill is playing Pac-Man—which is a scary thought for everyone.
29. Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up: Why Rooney Mara for Pan? For playing Tiger Lily in a casting choice so controversial it made the actual movie seem like a minor issue.
30. The “Entourage” Joke: Why the movie? For being a 100-minute episode of a show that had already stayed at the party way too long.
31. The “Boy Next Door” Vibe: Why Jennifer Lopez? For a thriller involving a “first edition copy of the Iliad” that proved the Razzies still have a library card.
32. The “Cooties” Mention: Why Elijah Wood? For a movie about chicken nuggets turning kids into zombies that was somehow less weird than Mortdecai.
33. The “Stonewall” Burn: Why Roland Emmerich? For a historical movie that managed to make history look like a glossy music video.
34. The “Hitman: Agent 47” Logic: Why? For proving that just because a character is bald doesn’t mean the movie has a head on its shoulders.
35. The “Sinister 2” Vibe: Why? For a sequel that was so “un-scary” it made the original look like a masterpiece of terror.
36. The Budget Burn: Why Jupiter Ascending? Because $176 million is a lot to spend on a movie that mostly just confused everyone’s grandparents.
37. The 2015 Final Razzie Vibe: Why was it a landmark? Because it showed that whether you’re in a “Red Room” or a “Negative Zone,” if the movie is bad, the Razzies will find you.