34 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2006 “Basic Instinct 2, Little Man & Scary Parodies” Edition

In 2006, the 27th Razzie Awards celebrated a year where Hollywood sequels were less “wanted” and more “unwarranted.” It was the year Sharon Stone tried to catch lightning in a bottle twice, only to find the bottle was empty, and the Wayans brothers discovered that shrinking a grown man into a baby is the stuff of nightmares.

The 2006 Razzie Red Carpet Top 10: “Latex, Leg-Crossing & Little Men”

1. The Basic Instinct 2 Sinkhole: Why did it win 4 Razzies? Because Sharon Stone tried to bring back the steaminess of the original, but the only thing steaming was the pile of bad reviews it left behind.
2. The Wayans Baby: Why did Little Man win Worst Remake or Rip-off? Because CGI-ing Shawn Wayans’ head onto a toddler’s body is a visual crime that no amount of therapy can erase.
3. M. Night Shyamalan’s Cameo: Why did he win Worst Supporting Actor for Lady in the Water? Because casting yourself as a visionary writer whose work literally saves the world is a level of narcissism that even the Razzies couldn’t ignore.
4. The BloodRayne Massacre: Why was Uwe Boll a target? Because he turned a vampire video game into a movie so bad it made the actual Bubonic Plague look like a mild inconvenience.
5. The Wicker Man’s Bees: Why was Nicolas Cage nominated? Because his performance—including punching a woman while wearing a bear suit and screaming about bees—is the greatest unintentional comedy in history.
6. The “Date Movie” Disaster: Why was it a target? For proving that “parody” doesn’t just mean “referencing a popular movie while someone falls into a pile of garbage.”
7. Deck the Halls’ Lack of Joy: Why were Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick nominated? For proving that neighborly feuds over Christmas lights are about as interesting as watching a fuse blow.
8. The Materials Girl: Why were Hilary and Haylie Duff nominated? Because Material Girls proved that two Duffs do not make a right—especially when the plot is thinner than a designer credit card.
9. The Da Vinci Code’s Hair: Why was Tom Hanks a target? Because his mullet was the most mysterious and unsolvable puzzle in the entire movie.
10. The Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment: Why was RV hit? Because watching Robin Williams struggle with a septic tank is a metaphor for what the audience felt while watching the film.

The Full 2006 Razzie Jokes Archive

11. Worst Picture: Why Basic Instinct 2? Because “Basic” was the most accurate part of the title.
12. Worst Actor: Why the Wayans brothers in Little Man? For proving that two heads are not better than one when both are CGI-ed onto a baby.
13. Worst Actress: Why Sharon Stone? For proving that some mysteries (like why this sequel was made) should never be solved.
14. Worst Supporting Actor: Why M. Night Shyamalan? For giving the “twist ending” a bad name by appearing in his own movie.
15. Worst Supporting Actress: Why Carmen Electra for Scary Movie 4 and Date Movie? For being the human equivalent of a “insert celebrity here” joke that isn’t funny.
16. Worst Director: Why M. Night Shyamalan? For turning a bedtime story for his kids into a nightmare for the general public.
17. Worst Screenplay: Why Basic Instinct 2? For dialogue that was trying to be “noir” but ended up just being “no.”
18. Worst Remake or Rip-off: Why Little Man? For ripping off a 1954 Bugs Bunny cartoon and making it 100% more terrifying.
19. Worst Screen Couple: Why Shawn Wayans and either Kerry Washington or his own CGI head? Because the chemistry was purely digital and entirely uncomfortable.
20. The “Wicker Man” Bear Suit: Why was it a joke? Because a bear suit is the only thing that could distract from Nic Cage’s acting—and it failed.
21. The “Poseidon” Sink: Why was the remake hit? For proving that even with a giant wave, a movie can still be completely dry.
22. The “Lady in the Water” Logic: Why the Narfs? Because naming your mythical creatures after a sound Pinky and the Brain make is a bold, bad choice.
23. The “See No Evil” Vibe: Why Kane? For proving that WWE wrestlers should stay in the ring and out of the “creepy hotel” genre.
24. The “Santa Clause 3” Frost: Why Tim Allen and Martin Short? For making a Christmas movie that felt like being stuck in a snowbank for two hours.
25. The “Zoom” Failure: Why Tim Allen (again)? For proving that a “superhero school” movie can have zero energy and even less heart.
26. Worst Actor Runner-up: Why Nicolas Cage? For The Wicker Man, a performance that launched a thousand memes but zero Oscar nods.
27. Worst Actress Runner-up: Why the Duff Sisters? For making a movie that felt like a 90-minute commercial for things nobody wants to buy.
28. Worst Supporting Actor Runner-up: Why Danny DeVito for Deck the Halls? For proving that even a comedy legend can get lost in the tinsel.
29. Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up: Why Jenny McCarthy for John Tucker Must Die? Because the Razzies were still recovering from Dirty Love.
30. The “You, Me and Dupree” Burn: Why Owen Wilson? For playing a character so annoying that the audience was on the side of the people trying to kick him out.
31. The “Eragon” CGI: Why was it hit? For proving that having a dragon doesn’t mean your movie will take flight.
32. The “Ultraviolet” Mess: Why Milla Jovovich? For a movie so heavily edited it looked like it was being viewed through a broken kaleidoscope.
33. The Budget Burn: Why Poseidon? Because $160 million is a lot of money to spend on a boat that we already knew was going to flip over.
34. The 2006 Final Razzie Vibe: Why was it a landmark? Because it was the year that proved CGI can make a man a baby, but it can’t make a bad movie a good one.