36 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2018 “Holmes & Watson, Gotti & Presidential Wins” Edition

In 2018, the 39th Razzie Awards faced a year where real-world politics collided with cinematic disasters. It was the year a legendary comedy duo lost their spark, John Travolta’s passion project became a 0% Rotten Tomatoes classic, and the sitting President of the United States managed to beat out actual actors for the Worst Actor trophy.

The 2018 Razzie Red Carpet Top 10: “Detectives, Dictators & Disasters”

1. The Holmes & Watson Disaster: Why did Holmes & Watson win 4 Razzies? Because Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly managed to make a Sherlock movie where the biggest mystery was why anyone thought the script was funny.
2. The Gotti 0% Club: Why was Gotti a target? Because John Travolta spent years trying to make a gritty mob epic, only to produce a film that looked like a very expensive insurance commercial for tracksuits.
3. The Presidential Sweep: Why did Donald Trump win Worst Actor? Because the Razzies decided that his appearances in the documentaries Death of a Nation and Fahrenheit 11/9 were the most “unintentionally dramatic” performances of the year.
4. The Puppet Murder Mess: Why was The Happytime Murders hit? Because Melissa McCarthy proved that mixing puppets with R-rated humor results in a movie that is less Sesame Street and more “Why did I pay for this street?”
5. The Fifty Shades Finale: Why did Fifty Shades Freed win Worst Screenplay? For ending the trilogy with a whimper, a luxury car, and dialogue that made actual fan fiction look like Pulitzer material.
6. Kellyanne Conway’s Win: Why did she win Worst Supporting Actress? For her “performance” as herself in the same documentaries as Trump, proving that in 2018, Washington D.C. was the new Hollywood.
7. The Winchester Mystery: Why was Helen Mirren nominated? Because even a Dame can’t save a haunted house movie where the biggest ghost is the missing plot.
8. The Show Dogs Cringe: Why was it a target? For a scene involving dog grooming that was so uncomfortable the Razzies (and the public) had to demand a re-edit.
9. The Death of a Nation Logic: Why was Dinesh D’Souza back? Because the Razzies feel that his documentaries are the only films consistent enough to be nominated every single time he makes one.
10. The Razzie Redeemer – Melissa McCarthy: Why did she win? Because in the same year she was nominated for The Happytime Murders, she gave an Oscar-nominated performance in Can You Ever Forgive Me?—the ultimate “I’m better than this” move.

The Full 2018 Razzie Jokes Archive

11. Worst Picture: Why Holmes & Watson? Because it’s the only movie that makes you want to solve the mystery of how to get your money back.
12. Worst Actor: Why Donald Trump? For proving that if you’re the most talked-about person in the world, the Razzies will find a way to give you a trophy.
13. Worst Actress: Why Melissa McCarthy? For The Happytime Murders, a film that proved puppets and profanity are a very difficult “felt” to master.
14. Worst Supporting Actor: Why John Moonves? For his appearance as himself in Death of a Nation, proving that being a CEO doesn’t mean you have “it.”
15. Worst Supporting Actress: Why Kellyanne Conway? For “Alternative Facts” being the best acting performance of the political season.
16. Worst Director: Why Etan Cohen for Holmes & Watson? For taking two of the funniest men alive and making a movie that was dead on arrival.
17. Worst Screenplay: Why Fifty Shades Freed? For proving that the only thing “freed” was the audience from having to watch any more of these movies.
18. Worst Remake, Rip-off or Sequel: Why Holmes & Watson? For being a “rip-off” of the actual concept of humor.
19. Worst Screen Combo: Why “Donald J. Trump & His Self-Terminating Pettiness”? Because the chemistry was purely egotistical.
20. The “Gotti” Makeup: Why was it a joke? For making John Travolta look less like a mob boss and more like a grandfather who’s very confused about a Halloween party.
21. The “Meg” Shark: Why was it hit? For being a giant shark movie that was somehow less exciting than a documentary about actual sharks.
22. The “Peppermint” Burn: Why Jennifer Garner? For an action movie so generic it felt like it was generated by an AI that only watched Taken.
23. The “Robin Hood” Remake: Why Jamie Foxx and Taron Egerton? For proving that “Robin Hood with machine-gun bows” is a sentence that should never be spoken.
24. The “Slender Man” Logic: Why was it a target? For taking an internet meme and turning it into a movie that was as thin as its namesake.
25. The “Mile 22” Burn: Why Mark Wahlberg? For another movie where his primary acting method was “shouting at people while looking at a monitor.”
26. Worst Actor Runner-up: Why John Travolta? For Gotti, a movie that he promoted so hard people actually started feeling sorry for him.
27. Worst Actress Runner-up: Why Jennifer Lopez for Second Act? For proving that her film career is basically a series of nice outfits in search of a script.
28. Worst Supporting Actor Runner-up: Why Ludacris for Show Dogs? For proving that “voice acting for a dog” is the lowest point in a rapper’s career.
29. Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up: Why Marcia Gay Harden for Fifty Shades Freed? For an Oscar winner who looked like she was constantly trying to remember if she left the stove on at home.
30. The “London Fields” Failure: Why Amber Heard? For a movie so bad it sat on a shelf for three years and was then sued into oblivion by its own director.
31. The “Skyscraper” Vibe: Why The Rock? For proving that even the most charming man on Earth can’t save a movie that is just Die Hard with a fake leg.
32. The “7 Days in Entebbe” Burn: Why Rosamund Pike? For a political thriller that was so dull it felt like 7 days in a waiting room.
33. The “Life of the Party” Vibe: Why Melissa McCarthy? For a comedy that felt like a “G-rated” version of her actually funny movies.
34. The “Hurricane Heist” Logic: Why? For a movie that assumed a hurricane and a bank robbery would equal entertainment (it didn’t).
35. The “Truth or Dare” Burn: Why? For a horror movie where the scariest thing was the CGI “evil grins” that looked like SnapChat filters.
36. The 2018 Final Razzie Vibe: Why was it a landmark? Because it was the year the Razzies realized that truth is stranger than fiction, especially when fiction is Holmes & Watson.