35 Halloween Jokes: The 2002 “Spider-Man & The Ring” Edition

In 2002, Halloween was a mix of superhero hype and the kind of psychological horror that made you want to throw away your VCR. It was the year we learned that “with great power comes great responsibility” (mostly the responsibility to not eat all the candy in one sitting).

The 2002 Top 10: “Web-Slingers & Seven Days”

1. Spider-Man (The Movie): Why was every second kid on the street stuck to a wall? Because Tobey Maguire made being a “nerd with a spider bite” the coolest thing in the world, and everyone was practicing their upside-down kiss.
2. The Ring: What was the scariest thing to hear after trick-or-treating? The phone ringing and a voice whispering, “Seven days…”—which was exactly how long it took to finish a jumbo bag of candy.
3. American Idol (Season 1): Why was the vampire so mean to the singers? Because he was dressed as Simon Cowell and kept telling the other monsters that their “Monster Mash” rendition was “dreadful, absolutely pitchy.”
4. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones: Why did the Jedi refuse to play in the sandbox? Because “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere”—especially inside a Boba Fett helmet.
5. My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Why was the ghost carrying a bottle of Windex? Because according to 2002’s biggest sleeper hit, Windex fixes everything from a ghost’s transparency to a werewolf’s split ends.
6. Signs: Why were there aluminum foil hats all over the neighborhood? Because M. Night Shyamalan convinced us that aliens are coming, but they can be defeated by a simple glass of water and some kitchen supplies.
7. The Bourne Identity: Why was the amnesiac trick-or-treater so confused? Because he had incredible fighting skills and could drive a Mini Cooper like a pro, but he couldn’t remember which house gave out the King Size bars.
8. Kelly Clarkson – “A Moment Like This”: Why was the witch crying on stage? Because she just won the first American Idol and realized her life would never be “dark and gloomy” ever again.
9. The Nickelback Peak: Why was the 2002 soundtrack so… repetitive? Because “How You Remind Me” was playing from every single porch, reminding us exactly how we reminded them of what we really are.
10. The Xbox vs. GameCube War: Why were the skeletons fighting in the living room? Because you were either a Halo fan or a Super Smash Bros. Melee fan, and there was no middle ground in the console wars.

The Full 2002 Halloween Jokes Archive

11. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Why was the car flying over the houses? Because Ron and Harry missed the train, and “Follow the spiders” seemed like a great advice for Halloween night.
12. Men in Black II: Why was the pug wearing a suit? Because Frank the Pug was the real star, and everyone wanted a talking dog as their wingman for trick-or-treating.
13. 8 Mile: Why did the ghost have “mom’s spaghetti” on his sheet? Because Eminem made Detroit look like the scariest and coolest place on earth, and everyone was ready for a rap battle.
14. Lilo & Stitch: Why was the blue alien so destructive? Because “Ohana means family,” and family means nobody gets left behind—unless they try to steal your Reese’s Cups.
15. The Osbournes: Why was the haunted house so foul-mouthed? Because MTV showed us that Ozzy’s real life was scarier (and funnier) than any heavy metal concert.
16. Minority Report: Why was the police officer arresting people before they stole candy? Because “Pre-Crime” was the hot new trend, and he saw you eyeing that extra Snickers bar in his vision.
17. Scooby-Doo (Live Action): Why did the monsters look like CGI bubbles? Because the movie brought the Mystery Inc. gang to life, but the ghosts looked like they were rendered on a PlayStation 1.
18. The Bachelor (Debut): Why was the vampire handing out roses? Because he wanted to know if the werewolf would “accept this rose” and stay in the mansion for another week.
19. Ice Age: Why was the squirrel chasing an acorn through the graveyard? Because Scrat proved that a single nut is worth more than a thousand years of freezing in a glacier.
20. Austin Powers in Goldmember: Why was everything painted gold? Because “I love gooooold!”—and because Beyoncé made her film debut as Foxxy Cleopatra, looking “solid gold.”
21. The Avril Lavigne “Sk8er Boi” Look: Why were there so many girls in neckties and tank tops? Because “he was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?”
22. XXX: Why did the spy have so many tattoos? Because Vin Diesel proved that you don’t need a tuxedo to save the world, just a fur coat and a dirt bike.
23. The Ketchup Song (Aserejé): Why were the zombies doing that weird hand dance? Because it was the only song more infectious than the Macarena, and nobody knew what the lyrics meant.
24. Panic Room: Why did the family spend the whole night in the closet? Because Jodie Foster made us all paranoid that burglars were coming for our Beanie Babies.
25. The “Nelly” Band-Aid: Why did the trick-or-treater have a bandage on his cheek for no reason? Because Nelly made “facial injuries” a fashion statement in 2002.
26. Resident Evil (Movie): Why was the laser hallway so terrifying? Because the Red Queen told us we were all going to die, and Milla Jovovich was the only one who could kick a zombie dog in the face.
27. A Walk to Remember: Why was the Halloween party so sad? Because Mandy Moore made us all cry, and “Only Hope” was playing while we sorted our candy.
28. The Spider-Man “Kiss”: Why was the kid hanging by his ankles from the swing set? He was waiting for Mary Jane, but he mostly just got a rush of blood to the head and a dropped lollipop.
29. Blade II: Why were the vampires even scarier? Because the “Reapers” had chins that split open, making regular Dracula look like a friendly neighbor.
30. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron: Why was the horse costume so majestic? Because Bryan Adams sang about it for two hours, and we all felt the “wilderness” in our suburban backyards.
31. The Camcorder “Night Vision”: Why did all the home movies look green? Because everyone was trying to film their own version of The Blair Witch or The Ring using the “Nightshot” button.
32. The “Bennifer” Era: What was the scariest celebrity couple costume? Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, because the tabloid frenzy was more inescapable than a slasher villain.
33. Mr. Deeds: Why did the billionaire give everyone a Corvette? Because Adam Sandler was “from the heart,” and everyone wished their local rich neighbor was that generous.
34. The Nokia 7650: Why was the ghost taking a blurry 0.3MP photo? Because it was the first phone with a built-in camera, and the ghost wanted to prove he actually existed (sort of).
35. The “Low-Rise” Ghost: Why did the sheet look so short? Because in 2002, if your jeans weren’t sitting on your hip bones, you weren’t “in,” even if you were dead.