34 Celebrity Jokes: The 2012 “Gangnam Style & Doomsday” Edition

In 2012, we were all waiting for the world to end according to the Mayans, but we spent our final days doing an invisible horse dance. It was the year of the Hunger Games, the birth of the MCU’s dominance, and the realization that a billionaire, a god, and a frozen soldier could actually share a shawarma.

The 2012 Top 10: The “Avengers & Invisible Horses” Classics

1. Psy (Gangnam Style): Why was a Korean man in a tuxedo the biggest star of 2012? Because he proved that you don’t need to understand a single lyric as long as you look like you’re riding an invisible horse in a parking garage.
2. The Avengers: Why did the world feel safe in 2012? Because Marvel proved that if you put six superheroes in New York, they can stop an alien invasion and still have time to find a decent shawarma place.
3. The Mayan Calendar: Why was December 21, 2012, the most disappointing day in history? Because we all prepared for an apocalypse, but all we got was another Friday and a lot of leftover canned beans.
4. Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games): Why was everyone suddenly into archery? Because in 2012, Katniss Everdeen made “volunteering as tribute” the ultimate personality trait for anyone who didn’t want to do their homework.
5. Carly Rae Jepsen: Why did everyone have a crush on 2012? Because “Call Me Maybe” was so catchy that even the Cookie Monster and the U.S. Olympic swim team had to make a parody video.
6. The London Olympics: Why was the Queen jumping out of a helicopter? Because in 2012, James Bond convinced Elizabeth II that the best way to open the Games was with a parachute and a stunt double.
7. Taylor Swift (Red): Why was she “22” and “Feeling 22”? Because in 2012, she traded her cowboy boots for red lipstick and realized that “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” was a global anthem, not just a diary entry.
8. Felix Baumgartner: Why did a man jump from the edge of space? Because in 2012, Red Bull gave him actual wings (and a very expensive spacesuit) to prove that falling is just flying with style.
9. The Curiosity Rover: Why were we obsessed with a robot on Mars? Because in 2012, we finally had a high-definition camera on another planet to confirm that there are still no aliens, just a lot of very interesting rocks.
10. Grumpy Cat: Why was a cat the most relatable celebrity of 2012? Because her face perfectly captured how we all felt about the fact that the world didn’t end on December 21st.

The Full 2012 Celebrity Jokes Archive

11. Anne Hathaway (Les Misérables): Why did she cut her hair? Because in 2012, she wanted to prove that “Dreaming a Dream” involves losing 20 pounds and winning an Oscar for crying in the mud.
12. Magic Mike: Why were there so many shirtless men in theaters? Because in 2012, Channing Tatum proved that “carpentry” is just a code word for an elaborate dance routine involving tear-away pants.
13. One Direction (Take Me Home): Why were they still everywhere? Because in 2012, they realized that “Live While We’re Young” meant touring the world until every teenage girl had a favorite member.
14. Skyfall: Why was James Bond at his parents’ house? Because in 2012, he realized that Adele’s theme song was the only thing powerful enough to save a franchise that had been going for 50 years.
15. Ben Affleck (Argo): Why was he making a fake movie? Because in 2012, he proved that the best way to save hostages is to hire a Hollywood makeup artist and a lot of beige suits.
16. Justin Bieber (Believe): Why was he wearing one glove? Because in 2012, he was “Boyfriend”-ing his way into adulthood, one swagger-coach at a time.
17. The Dark Knight Rises: Why was Bane talking through a toaster? Because in 2012, Tom Hardy proved that you don’t need to be understood as long as you have a very cool coat and a plan to blow up a football field.
18. Lana Del Rey (Born to Die): Why was she so sad? Because in 2012, she turned “Summer Sadness” into a high-fashion aesthetic involving flower crowns and vintage cars.
19. Ted: Why was a teddy bear drinking beer? Because in 2002, Seth MacFarlane realized that Mark Wahlberg needed a foul-mouthed best friend to help him grow up.
20. Gotye: Why was he “Somebody That I Used to Know”? Because in 2012, he painted himself into a wall and then disappeared from the charts forever.
21. Pitch Perfect: Why was everyone hitting plastic cups? Because in 2012, Anna Kendrick proved that “Cups” was a legitimate musical instrument and that “Aca-awkward” was a real word.
22. Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln): Why was he so tall? Because in 2012, he stayed in character so long that he probably forgot he wasn’t actually the 16th President of the United States.
23. Life of Pi: Why was there a tiger in a boat? Because in 2012, CGI reached a point where we actually believed a kid could survive 227 days with a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker.
24. Mumford & Sons: Why was everyone wearing suspenders? Because in 2012, “Babel” proved that playing a banjo as fast as possible was the only way to be an indie-rock star.
25. Twilight (Breaking Dawn Pt. 2): Why was the ending a fake-out? Because in 2012, the producers realized that a massive decapitation scene was a bit much for a PG-13 romance.
26. Rihanna (Diamonds): Why was she “Shining Bright”? Because in 2012, she realized that she was the only person who could release a hit album every single year without getting tired.
27. Frank Ocean (Channel Orange): Why was the world so soulful? Because in 2012, Frank Ocean wrote a Tumblr post that changed R&B and gave us the soundtrack to our feelings.
28. The Amazing Spider-Man: Why was Peter Parker different? Because in 2012, Andrew Garfield proved that Spider-Man could be a skater who used Bing to search for his parents.
29. Macklemore (Thrift Shop): Why were we wearing granddad’s clothes? Because in 2012, $20 in your pocket was enough to make you look “Incredible” in a leopard-print onesie.
30. Honey Boo Boo: Why were we watching “Glitz Glamour”? Because in 2012, “Go-Go Juice” and “Sketti” became the official diet of reality TV.
31. Brave: Why was the hair so red? Because in 2012, Pixar decided that Merida didn’t need a Prince, she just needed to turn her mom into a bear to fix their relationship.
32. Maroon 5 (One More Night): Why was Adam Levine a boxer? Because in 2012, he was fighting to keep his spot on The Voice and the top of the charts at the same time.
33. Prometheus: Why were they running in a straight line? Because in 2012, we learned that even the smartest scientists in the galaxy don’t know how to sidestep a falling spaceship.
34. The Year 2012: Why did it end? Because we realized the Mayans weren’t wrong, we were just entering a new era where we’d spend the rest of our lives looking at memes.