33 Miscellaneous Jokes: The 2010 “Tablets & Total Inception” Edition

By 2010, the “Teens” had officially arrived, and they brought a lot of noise with them—mostly in the form of plastic trumpets from South Africa. It was the year we realized that “The Cloud” was where our lives lived, that a movie about Facebook could be an Oscar contender, and that we were all willing to pay for an app just to make our digital photos look like they were taken with a broken camera from 1974. We were living in a dream within a dream, waiting for the “kick” to wake us up.

The 2010 Top 10: The “iPad & Inception” Classics

1. The iPad Launch: Why did everyone call it a “Maxi-iPhone”? Because when Steve Jobs sat in that leather chair and showed us a tablet, we all laughed—right until the moment we realized we couldn’t live without a 10-inch screen to play Angry Birds on.
2. The Vuvuzela Invasion: Why did the World Cup sound like a swarm of angry bees? Because South Africa introduced the world to a plastic horn that made every football match sound like a giant vacuum cleaner was permanently stuck in “on” mode.
3. The Launch of Instagram: Why did everything look orange? Because Kevin Systrom gave us a way to make our mediocre life choices look “vintage” using the Earlybird filter, and suddenly everyone was a professional photographer.
4. Inception Premiere: Why was everyone checking their pockets for a spinning top? Because Christopher Nolan made a movie so confusing that we spent the next six months arguing about whether Leonardo DiCaprio was still dreaming or just really liked wearing suits.
5. The Social Network Movie: Why was a movie about a website so good? Because it turned “coding in a dorm room” into a high-stakes legal thriller and taught us that you don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies (and a billion dollars).
6. The Launch of Uber (UberCab): Why were we getting into cars with strangers? Because a “black car” app launched in San Francisco, promising that we’d never have to whistle for a taxi again, as long as we didn’t mind the “surge pricing” during a light rain.
7. The WikiLeaks Megaleak: Why was everyone sweating in D.C.? Because Julian Assange released thousands of classified documents, proving that the internet’s “Delete” button doesn’t actually do anything when a whistle-blower is involved.
8. The Launch of Pinterest: Why was everyone “pinning” mason jars? Because a new site arrived that allowed us to organize our dream weddings, dream kitchens, and dream lives—all while sitting in our actual sweatpants.
9. The Old Spice “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” Ad: Why was he on a horse? Because Isaiah Mustafa delivered the most viral commercial of the decade, proving that if you talk fast enough, people will buy literally any bottle of body wash.
10. The Launch of the iPhone 4 (Antennagate): Why were we “holding it wrong”? Because Apple released a beautiful glass phone that lost its signal if you touched the corner, leading to the world’s most expensive free rubber bumpers.

The Full 2010 Miscellaneous Jokes Archive

11. Toy Story 3: Why were adults sobbing in the theater? Because Pixar decided that watching a group of toys face a literal furnace was the best way to say goodbye to our childhood.
12. The Launch of Angry Birds (Android): Why did productivity drop to zero? Because the birds finally migrated to Android, ensuring that every person on a bus was busy slingshotting a yellow bird into a wooden plank.
13. The Walking Dead Debut: Why were we obsessed with zombies? Because AMC showed us that the real monsters aren’t the undead, but the living people fighting over the last can of pudding.
14. The Launch of Square: Why was there a little white cube in the phone? Because Jack Dorsey gave every coffee cart and flea market vendor a way to take credit cards, officially killing the “Cash Only” sign.
15. Despicable Me: Why were the yellow beans so popular? Because Minions arrived to prove that gibberish and slapstick are a universal language that can sell billions of dollars in merchandise.
16. The Launch of the “Like” Button (Everywhere): Why was everything “Likable”? Because Facebook launched its social plugin, turning the entire web into a giant popularity contest where your opinion was only valid if it had a blue thumb next to it.
17. Katy Perry’s “California Gurls”: Why was there whipped cream everywhere? Because 2010 pop music was 100% sugar, neon, and Snoop Dogg wearing a suit made of candy.
18. The Launch of “Quora”: Why were we asking strangers questions? Because we decided that Yahoo Answers was too chaotic and we needed a place where “experts” could give us 10-paragraph answers to “How do I boil an egg?”
19. The Kindle 3 (Kindle Keyboard): Why was it so gray? Because Amazon perfected the e-ink screen, making us feel like we were reading a newspaper from the future that never needed to be folded.
20. Black Swan: Why were we afraid of ballet? Because Natalie Portman showed us that professional dancing involves a lot of hallucination, peeling skin, and very aggressive mothers.
21. The Launch of “Path”: Why was it “private”? Because someone thought we only wanted to talk to 50 people, forgetting that the internet’s main goal is to be seen by as many strangers as possible.
22. The “Bed Intruder” Song: Why were we hiding our kids and wives? Because Antoine Dodson and a brilliant auto-tune remix turned a local news report into the biggest bop of the summer.
23. The Launch of Google Instant: Why was it guessing my thoughts? Because Google started showing results as you typed, making us feel like the search engine was finishing our sentences like a very clingy partner.
24. Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty: Why did it take 12 years? Because Blizzard finally released the sequel, proving that “Constructing additional pylons” is a lifetime commitment.
25. The Launch of the Mac App Store: Why was my computer acting like a phone? Because Apple decided that downloading software should be as easy as buying a 99-cent game, officially starting the death of the “Installation Disc.”
26. True Grit: Why was Jeff Bridges mumbling? Because the Coen Brothers gave us a Western where the dialogue was as sharp as the spurs, even if you needed subtitles for half of it.
27. The Launch of Viber: Why were we “vibing”? Because we needed another way to call people over the internet, and the color purple was apparently the missing ingredient.
28. Red Dead Redemption: Why were we hunting virtual rabbits? Because Rockstar gave us the “Grand Theft Auto of the West,” and we all spent 40 hours just staring at the sunset from our digital horse.
29. The Launch of the “Nexus One”: Why was it the “Superphone”? Because Google finally made its own hardware, trying to show everyone what Android should look like before the screen started getting “ghost touches.”
30. The King’s Speech: Why was everyone stammering? Because a movie about a royal with a speech impediment won the Oscar, proving that a good teacher and a lot of swearing can save the British Empire.
31. The Launch of “Instapaper”: Why were we “saving for later”? Because the internet became so full of long articles that we needed a place to store them and never, ever read them.
32. The “Double Rainbow” Video: Why was he crying? Because 2010 was the year we learned that a simple meteorological phenomenon could be so intense it would cause a man to have a spiritual awakening on YouTube.
33. New Year’s Eve 2010: Why were we so ready for 2011? Because we had our iPads, our filters, and our “likes”—we were fully prepared for a decade of never looking up from our screens again.