125 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Nemo & iTunes Edition (2003)

The 2003 Top 10: Digital & Deep Sea Classics

1. The Finding Nemo: I tried to tell a joke to a clownfish, but it wasn’t “fin-ny” at all.
2. The iTunes: I just bought a song for 99 cents. It’s a “sound” investment.
3. The Return of the King: I finally finished the Lord of the Rings. It was a “ring-ing” success.
4. The MySpace: I just started a MySpace page. I’m finally “finding” myself online.
5. The Beyoncé: I’m “Crazy in Love” with these puns. They’ve got a real “halo” effect.
6. The Pirates of the Caribbean: Why did the pirate go to the movie theater? To see the “Arrr”-ated version.
7. The Arnold: Schwarzenegger became the “Governator.” He said he’d be “back” in office.
8. The Concorde: The Concorde retired today. It was a “fast” goodbye.
9. The 50 Cent: I found 50 Cent in the “In Da Club.” He gave me “two quarters” of a joke.
10. The Harry Potter (Order of the Phoenix): I’m reading the fifth book. It’s “phoenix-ly” long.

The Full 2003 Archive (The “Social Media Dawn” List)

11. The Battery: I’m “charged” up for the new social media age.
12. The Magnet: I’m “drawn” to my MySpace top eight.
13. The Mirror: I’m “reflecting” on my profile picture.
14. The Camera: I’m “focusing” on my digital status.
15. The MP3: I’m “compressed” for time.
16. The Firewall: I’m “blocking” out the drama.
17. The Virus: I’m “sick” of dial-up speeds.
18. The Laptop: I’m “folding” my laundry while I surf the web.
19. The Screen: I’m “displaying” my new blog.
20. The Mouse: I’m “clicking” with my new online friends.
21. The Keyboard: I’m “typing” my way to fame.
22. The Printer: I’m “inking” about a new career.
23. The Scanner: I’m “beaming” with pride.
24. The Modem: I’m “connecting” at 56k—eventually.
25. The Router: I’m “routing” for the underdog.
26. The Website: I’m “weaving” a digital web.
27. The Link: I’m “connecting” the dots.
28. The Cursor: I’m “pointing” out the obvious.
29. The Password: I’m “keeping” a secret.
30. The Folder: I’m “organizing” my digital life.
31. The File: I’m “storing” my memories.
32. The Desktop: I’m “staying” on the surface.
33. The Wallpaper: I’m “decorating” my screen.
34. The Icon: I’m a “symbol” of the times.
35. The Trash Can: I’m “recycling” my old posts.
36. The Window: I’m “looking” through the browser.
37. The Menu: I’m “ordering” more bandwidth.
38. The Scroll: I’m “rolling” through the comments.
39. The Save: I’m “storing” my progress.
40. The Load: I’m “waiting” for the future.
41. The Font: I’m just your “type.”
42. The Bold: I’m “standing” out in the crowd.
43. The Italic: I’m “leaning” into the trend.
44. The Underline: I’m “stressing” the importance of puns.
45. The Space: I “need” more storage.
46. The Shift: I’m “changing” my status.
47. The Control: I’m “alt-ering” my profile.
48. The Escape: I’m “getting” away from the screen.
49. The Home: I’m “landing” on the main page.
50. The End: I’m “closing” the tab.
51. The Bread: I’m “rising” to the top.
52. The Butter: I’m “spreading” the news.
53. The Egg: I’m “cracking” up.
54. The Cheese: I’m “grating” on your nerves.
55. The Milk: I’m “milking” this joke.
56. The Coffee: I’m “espresso-ing” my love for puns.
57. The Tea: I’m “steeping” in humor.
58. The Sugar: I’m “sweetening” the deal.
59. The Salt: I’m “shaking” things up.
60. The Pepper: I’m “seasoning” the conversation.
61. The Honey: I’m “stuck” on you.
62. The Jam: I’m in a “sticky” situation.
63. The Toast: I’m the “talk” of the town.
64. The Juice: I’m “concentrating” on the punchline.
65. The Water: I’m “streaming” music now.
66. The Soda: I’m “popping” by.
67. The Beer: I’m “brewing” some trouble.
68. The Wine: I’m “aging” like a fine pun.
69. The Apple: I’m “taking” a bite out of technology.
70. The Banana: I’m “peeling” great.
71. The Orange: I’m “glad” you’re here.
72. The Grape: I’m “vining” for attention.
73. The Melon: I’m “one” in a million.
74. The Peach: I’m “just” peachy.
75. The Pear: We make a great “pair.”
76. The Plum: I’ve got a “fruitful” imagination.
77. The Cherry: I’m the “top” of the list.
78. The Lemon: I’m “squeezing” every bit of fun.
79. The Lime: I’m in the “limelight.”
80. The Berry: I’m “berry” funny.
81. The Nut: I’m “cracking” the code.
82. The Bean: I’ve “been” here all along.
83. The Corn: This joke is “ear-resistible.”
84. The Potato: I’m a “couch” potato—literally.
85. The Tomato: I’m “ketching” up with friends.
86. The Carrot: I “root” for the home team.
87. The Onion: I’m “peeling” back the layers.
88. The Garlic: I’m “breath-taking.”
89. The Pepper: I’m “hot” on the trail.
90. The Mushroom: I’m a “fun-gi” to be around.
91. The Tree: I’m “branching” out to new sites.
92. The Leaf: I’m “turning” over a new page.
93. The Root: I’m “grounded” in reality.
94. The Flower: I’m “blooming” online.
95. The Bee: I’m “buzzing” with excitement.
96. The Ant: I’m “working” on my profile.
97. The Spider: I’m “surfing” the web.
98. The Fish: I’m “hooked” on the internet.
99. The Bird: I’m “tweeting” (soon).
100. The Cat: I’m “purr-fectly” digital.
101. The Dog: I’m “barking” up the right tree.
102. The Horse: I’m “stable” for now.
103. The Cow: I’m “moo-ving” forward.
104. The Pig: I’m “hogging” the bandwidth.
105. The Sheep: I’m “following” the trends.
106. The Goat: I’m the “greatest” of all time.
107. The Duck: I’m “quacking” up.
108. The Bear: I can’t “bear” the dial-up speed.
109. The Lion: I’m “roaring” with laughter.
110. The Tiger: I’m “spot-on.”
111. The Elephant: I’ll “never” forget this year.
112. The Zebra: I’m “black and white” about it.
113. The Monkey: I’m “swinging” by.
114. The Snake: I’m “hiss-terical.”
115. The Turtle: I’m “slowly” downloading.
116. The Frog: I’m “leaping” into the future.
117. The Sun: I’m “beaming” 24/7.
118. The Moon: I’m “waxing” poetic.
119. The Star: I’m “shining” on MySpace.
120. The Cloud: I’m “foggy” on the details.
121. The Rain: I’m “pouring” my heart out.
122. The Snow: I’m “chilled” out.
123. The Wind: I’m “blown” away by 2003.
124. The Fire: I’m “on fire” this year.
125. The End: I’m “done”—until 2004!