91 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Y2K Survivor Edition (2000)

The 2000 Top 10: New Millennium Classics

1. The Cast Away: I tried to talk to a volleyball, but he gave me the silent treatment. It was a “Wilson-ing” experience.
2. The PS2: I bought a PlayStation 2 for the graphics, but I’m still just “playing” around.
3. The Wassup: I asked my dog “Wassup?” and he said “Roof!”
4. The Gladiator: I’m a big fan of Russell Crowe. I’m just “entertained.”
5. The Nokia Snake: I spent all day playing Snake on my phone. It’s a very “hiss-terical” game.
6. The Sims: I started playing The Sims. Now my real life is just a “sim-ulation.”
7. The Britney (Again): “Oops!… I Did It Again” is not just a song; it’s my autobiography regarding these puns.
8. The X-Men: I tried to join the X-Men, but they said my only power was “pun-ishing” people.
9. The Broadband: I finally got broadband internet. Now I can be annoyed by people at high speed.
10. The Olympic: The Sydney Olympics were great. I’m just “jumping” for joy.

The Full 2000 Archive (The “New Era” List)

11. The Battery: I’m positive that 2000 is my year.
12. The Magnet: I’m naturally attracted to the new millennium.
13. The Mirror: I’ve spent the whole year reflecting on 1999.
14. The Camera: I’m just waiting for the digital revolution to develop.
15. The MP3: I’m a music pirate. I’m just “burning” through my collection.
16. The Firewall: I’m a security expert. I’m just “blocking” out the haters.
17. The Virus: I’m feeling a bit “techy” today.
18. The Laptop: I’m a mobile worker. I’ve got everything on my lap.
19. The Screen: I’m a monitor. I’m just watching the new age begin.
20. The Mouse: I’m a click-baiter. I’m just “trapped” in the web.
21. The Keyboard: I’m a composer. I’m looking for the “any” key.
22. The Printer: I’m a ghost. I’m just “jamming” the machine.
23. The Scanner: I’m a visionary. I see right through the 90s.
24. The Modem: I’m a connector. I’m making a “dial-up” for help.
25. The Router: I’m a traveler. I’m just finding the best path.
26. The Website: I’m a spider. I’m just “weaving” a home.
27. The Link: I’m a chain-smoker. I’m just the missing link.
28. The Cursor: I’m a pointer. I’m just showing the way to 2001.
29. The Password: I’m a gatekeeper. I’m just “masking” my emotions.
30. The Folder: I’m a paperboy. I’m just “wrapping” things up.
31. The File: I’m a manicurist. I’m just smoothing things over.
32. The Desktop: I’m a minimalist. I’m just keeping a clean surface.
33. The Wallpaper: I’m a muralist. I’m just part of the room.
34. The Icon: I’m a legend. I’m just a small image of myself.
35. The Trash Can: I’m a garbage man. I’m just “emptying” my mind.
36. The Window: I’m a glazier. I’m just looking for a clear view.
37. The Menu: I’m a foodie. I’m just “selecting” the best.
38. The Scroll: I’m a librarian. I’m just rolling with the times.
39. The Save: I’m a banker. I’m just “storing” my interest.
40. The Load: I’m a truck driver. I’m just “carrying” the weight.
41. The Font: I’m a calligrapher. I’m just your “bold” type.
42. The Bold: I’m a soldier. I’m just standing firm.
43. The Italic: I’m a leaning tower. I’m just slanted.
44. The Underline: I’m a subrayer. I’m just emphasizing the point.
45. The Space: I’m a cosmonaut. I just need some “me” time.
46. The Shift: I’m a gearhead. I’m just changing my pace.
47. The Control: I’m a manager. I’m just “alt”-ering the situation.
48. The Escape: I’m a convict. I’m just “fleeing” the punchline.
49. The Home: I’m a base-runner. I’m just “rounding” the corner.
50. The End: I’m a doomer. I saw it coming in ’99.
51. The Page: I’m a bookworm. I’m just turning the century.
52. The Tab: I’m a soda. I’m just “popping” up.
53. The Caps Lock: I’M AN ENTHUSIAST. I’M JUST BEING “BIG.”
54. The Delete: I’m an assassin. I’m just making it go away.
55. The Insert: I’m a coin-slot. I’m just “feeding” the meter.
56. The Number: I’m a statistician. I’m just “counting” on a raise.
57. The Plus: I’m a battery. I’m just “positive.”
58. The Minus: I’m a debit card. I’m just “negative.”
59. The Equal: I’m a twin. I’m just the same.
60. The Question: I’m a philosopher. I’m just “why”-ing.
61. The Period: I’m a grammarian. I’m just stopping.
62. The Comma: I’m a pause. I’m just… waiting.
63. The Colon: I’m a doctor. I’m just “checking” the gut.
64. The Slash: I’m a horror fan. I’m just “cutting” to the chase.
65. The Star: I’m a celebrity. I’m just “shining.”
66. The Cloud: I’m a pilot. I’m just “weathering” the storm.
67. The Rain: I’m a cloud. I’m just “crying” out loud.
68. The Snow: I’m a yeti. I’m just “cool.”
69. The Wind: I’m a sail. I’m just “blown” away.
70. The Fire: I’m a match. I’m just “lit.”
71. The Water: I’m a glass. I’m half full of “puns.”
72. The Earth: I’m a globe. I’m just “spinning.”
73. The Air: I’m a balloon. I’m just “full” of it.
74. The Metal: I’m a robot. I’m just “bolted” together.
75. The Wood: I’m a tree. I’m just “barking.”
76. The Glass: I’m a lens. I’m just “focusing.”
77. The Plastic: I’m a mannequin. I’m just “posed.”
78. The Paper: I’m a flyer. I’m just “drifting.”
79. The Stone: I’m a pebble. I’m just “rocking.”
80. The Sand: I’m a desert. I’m just “dry.”
81. The Dust: I’m a shelf. I’m just “collecting.”
82. The Smoke: I’m a signal. I’m just “hazy.”
83. The Mirror: I’m a pond. I’m just “reflecting.”
84. The Shadow: I’m a ghost. I’m just “following.”
85. The Echo: I’m a canyon. I’m just “echoing.”
86. The Silence: I’m a secret. I’m just “kept.”
87. The Light: I’m a bulb. I’m just “bright.”
88. The Dark: I’m a shadow. I’m just “dim.”
89. The Sound: I’m a speaker. I’m just “vibrating.”
90. The Peace: I’m a dove. I’m just “flying.”
91. The End: I’m a pun-teller. I’ll be back for 2001!