118 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Frozen & Selfie Edition (2013)

The 2013 Top 10: Viral & Frosty Classics

1. The Frozen: I tried to tell Elsa a joke, but she just gave me the “cold” shoulder. I guess I should just “Let It Go.”
2. The Fox: I finally found out what the fox says. He said, “Stop asking, it’s ‘fur’-ustrating!”
3. The Selfie: I took a selfie with a camera from 2013. I’m just “developing” my self-image.
4. The GTA V: I spent all weekend in Los Santos. I’m having a “grand” time, but my social life is “theft”-ed.
5. The Cronut: I tried to eat a croissant-donut hybrid. It was a “hole” lot of work for one snack.
6. The Vine: I made a 6-second comedy video. It was a “short” lived success, but it “looped” me in.
7. The Gravity: I watched a movie about being stuck in space. It was a “weighty” drama, but the plot was a bit “light.”
8. The Harlem Shake: I tried to do the Harlem Shake in the office. It was a “moving” performance until I was “shaken” out of the building.
9. The Iron Man 3: Tony Stark is having anxiety attacks. I guess he’s just “rusting” under the pressure.
10. The Flappy Bird: I’m still trying to get my bird through the pipes. It’s an “infuriating” flight of fancy.

The Full 2013 Archive (The “Year of the Selfie” List)

11. The Battery: I’m “positive” my phone won’t last a full day of selfies.
12. The Magnet: I’m “drawn” to the new Instagram filters.
13. The Mirror: I’m “reflecting” on my best angle.
14. The Camera: I’m “focusing” on the front-facing lens.
15. The Virus: I’m “infecting” the web with catchy fox noises.
16. The Laptop: I’m “folding” under the weight of my digital library.
17. The Screen: I’m “displaying” my breakfast for all to see.
18. The Mouse: I’m “clicking” with the new social trends.
19. The Keyboard: I’m “typing” my way into the “Selfie” Hall of Fame.
20. The Printer: I’m “inking” about printing my favorite meme.
21. The Scanner: I’m “beaming” with joy over my follower count.
22. The Website: I’m “weaving” a digital autobiography.
23. The Link: I’m “sharing” the latest viral dance.
24. The Cursor: I’m “pointing” out that “Let It Go” is still playing.
25. The Password: I’m “locking” my phone with a fingerprint now.
26. The Folder: I’m “organizing” my selfies by mood.
27. The File: I’m “storing” my memories in the cloud.
28. The Desktop: I’m “surface” level deep in social media.
29. The Wallpaper: I’m “hanging” a picture of a mountain in Arendelle.
30. The Icon: I’m a “symbol” of the mid-2010s.
31. The Trash Can: I’m “recycling” jokes about the fox.
32. The Window: I’m “browsing” through everyone’s perfect lives.
33. The Menu: I’m “selecting” the best filter for this toast.
34. The Scroll: I’m “rolling” through 6-second videos.
35. The Save: I’m “keeping” my high score in Flappy Bird.
36. The Load: I’m “buffering” my social skills for a real party.
37. The Font: I’m just your “bold” type of influencer.
38. The Space: I “need” more storage for my 4K videos.
39. The Shift: I’m “changing” my profile picture again.
40. The Control: I’m “alt-ering” my reality with a filter.
41. The Escape: I’m “fleeing” from the spoilers of the series finale.
42. The Home: I’m “pressing” the home button to check my notifications.
43. The Tab: I’m “switching” between five social apps.
44. The Delete: I’m “erasing” the blurry shots.
45. The Number: I’m “counting” my likes like they’re currency.
46. The Bread: I’m “rising” to the challenge of a viral challenge.
47. The Butter: I’m “spreading” the laughter.
48. The Egg: I’m “cracking” the code for more followers.
49. The Cheese: I’m “grating” on your nerves with my “Let It Go” cover.
50. The Milk: I’m “milking” my 15 minutes of fame on Vine.
51. The Coffee: I’m “brewing” some serious content.
52. The Tea: I’m “spilling” the secrets of the algorithm.
53. The Sugar: I’m “coating” my comments in hashtags.
54. The Salt: I’m “shaking” off the digital dust.
55. The Honey: I’m “stuck” in a “What Does the Fox Say” loop.
56. The Jam: I’m “jamming” to the top 40.
57. The Toast: I’m the “talk” of the timeline.
58. The Juice: I’m “concentrating” on my brand.
59. The Water: I’m “streaming” music while I workout.
60. The Soda: I’m “fizzing” with 2013 excitement.
61. The Apple: I’m “taking” a bite out of the 5S.
62. The Banana: I’m “peeling” great about my new phone.
63. The Orange: I’m “glad” I don’t have to carry a real camera.
64. The Grape: I’m “whining” about the slow Wi-Fi.
65. The Melon: I’m “one” in a million “Selfie” takers.
66. The Peach: I’m “just” feeling fuzzy.
67. The Pear: We’re a “fruitful” pair of users.
68. The Plum: I’ve got a “juicy” gossip for the group chat.
69. The Cherry: I’m the “top” of the search results.
70. The Lemon: I hope my new laptop isn’t a “lemon.”
71. The Lime: I’m in the “limelight” on social media.
72. The Berry: I’m “berry” much into this new app.
73. The Nut: I’m “cracking” the viral code.
74. The Bean: I’ve “been” here since the first hashtag.
75. The Corn: This pun is “shucking” high-definition.
76. The Potato: I’m a “couch” potato watching Netflix marathons.
77. The Tomato: I’m “ketching” up with my distant friends on Skype.
78. The Carrot: I’m “rooting” for the underdog video.
79. The Onion: I’m “peeling” back the layers of the trending topics.
80. The Garlic: I’m “breath-taking” in my high-res selfie.
81. The Mushroom: I’m a “fun-gi” to have in your friend list.
82. The Tree: I’m “branching” out into vlogging.
83. The Leaf: I’m “turning” over a new digital leaf.
84. The Flower: I’m “blooming” in the spotlight.
85. The Bee: I’m “buzzing” with every notification.
86. The Ant: I’m “working” on my digital footprint.
87. The Spider: I’m “weaving” a web of social connections.
88. The Fish: I’m “hooked” on the new feed.
89. The Bird: I’m “tweeting” about the fox again.
90. The Cat: I’m “purr-fectly” happy with my digital life.
91. The Dog: I’m “barking” up the right cellular tower.
92. The Horse: I’m “stable” for the next update.
93. The Cow: I’m “moo-ving” to a better cloud storage.
94. The Pig: I’m “hogging” the bandwidth at the airport.
95. The Sheep: I’m “following” the top influencers.
96. The Duck: I’m “quacking” up at the Vine fails.
97. The Bear: I can’t “bear” to wait for the next season of Game of Thrones.
98. The Lion: I’m “pride-ful” of my tech specs.
99. The Tiger: I’m “earning” my stripes as a content creator.
100. The Elephant: I’ll “never” forget 2013.
101. The Monkey: I’m “swinging” by the app store.
102. The Snake: I’m “hiss-terical” when the internet drops out.
103. The Turtle: I’m “slowly” gaining more likes.
104. The Frog: I’m “leaping” into the smartphone age.
105. The Sun: I’m “shining” through the pixels.
106. The Moon: I’m “phasing” out my old hobbies.
107. The Star: I’m “twinkling” in the digital sky.
108. The Cloud: I’m “feeling” a bit foggy on how sync works.
109. The Rain: I’m “pouring” my thoughts into a caption.
110. The Snow: I’m “chilled” out with my new gadgets.
111. The Wind: I’m “blown” away by the new tech.
112. The Fire: I’m “on fire” with my updates.
113. The Water: I’m “treading” the digital waves.
114. The Earth: I’m “grounded” in reality (mostly).
115. The Air: I’m “broadcasting” my life.
116. The Metal: I’m “hardened” by the comment section.
117. The Wood: I’m “pining” for a vacation.
118. The End: I’m “logging” off—catch you in 2014!