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Home » The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2017 Archive: The “Bio-Metric” Victory

2017 Archive: The “Bio-Metric” Victory

Why was the iris scanner so busy in Iraq? To make sure that the guys fleeing Raqqa didn’t just put on a clean shirt and join the “New Police.”

Part of the 34 Military Jokes: The 2017 “Mother of All Bombs & Fire and Fury” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2024 Vintage: The "Patriot" vs. "Everything"
Why is the Patriot the MVP? Because it’s the only 40-year-old in ...read more »
2025 Vintage: The "Laser" Point-Defense
Why the "Pew-Pew" sounds? Because the Air Force realized that if ...read more »
2024 Legacy: The 2024 Final Vibe
Why was it the "Year of the Jam"? Because between GPS, Drones, an...read more »
2025 Classic: The Autonomous Swarm Debut
Why was 2025 the year of the "Mosquito"? Because the military rea...read more »
32 Military Jokes: The 2005 “MRAP Mania & Urban Grind” Edition
In 2005, the military realized that "Stabilization" was just a fa...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 2024 “Thermite Dragons & Jamming Junkies” Edition
In 2024, the military realized that if your equipment isn't "EW-H...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 2000 “New Millennium & Old Problems” Edition
In 2000, the world breathed a sigh of relief because the computer...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Information Operations" AI-Wars
Why 2024? Because "Propaganda" is now 90% bots arguing with other...read more »
2024 Classic: The A-50 "Disappearing Act"
Why did the Russian Early Warning planes start retiring early in ...read more »
39 Military Jokes: The 2009 “Afghan Surge & Predator Politics” Edition
In 2009, the military learned that "Counterinsurgency" in the des...read more »

😜 More from category: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2024 Legacy: The "Over-the-Horizon" Fatigue
Why the drone operators' strike? Because "Remote Warfare" is star...read more »
2025 Legacy: The "Over-the-Horizon" Robot
Why the "Dog-Drone"? Because a mechanical dog doesn't need to be ...read more »
36 Military Jokes: The 2019 “Space Force & Skyborg’s Dawn” Edition
In 2019, the military realized that "The Future" is already here,...read more »
38 Military Jokes: The 1999 “Targeting & Timeline” Edition
In 1999, the military was living on the edge of a digital apocaly...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Austin_Powers_Groovy11/29/1996 10:33Groovy, baby! Very groovy.
@StarWars_Nerd11/05/2007 17:06The farce is strong with this one!
@Campus_King10/11/1996 00:47The funniest thing since free refills at the cafeteria.
@Grunge_Lord_9404/26/2010 12:52I’m so happy because today I found a funny joke.
@Dodgeball_Pat07/07/2015 12:13If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bad joke.
@Flash_Intro_Hater12/23/2013 00:07Finally a site without a 2-minute Flash intro!
@Blink_Tag_User08/04/1995 17:09<blink>SO FUNNY!</blink>
@StrongBad_Mail02/12/2010 11:31I’m checking my email and I found a winner!

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