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Home » The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2012 Classic: The Abraham Lincoln

2012 Classic: The Abraham Lincoln

Vampire Hunter: Why was the 16th President holding an axe? Because 2012 was the year history got weird, and we all accepted that “Honest Abe” had a side hustle in monster slaying.

Part of the 39 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2012 “Avengers & Apocalypse” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Archive: The "Hyper-Loop" Parade
Why did the parade last 3 seconds? Because they put the floats on...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Lunch" Billie Eilish
Why was the 4th so "Hungry"? Because Billie’s Hit Me Hard and Sof...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Birds of a Feather" Billie
Why was the 4th so "Loyal"? Because Billie told us we’d "stick to...read more »
37 Fourth of July Jokes: The 1996 “Welcome to Earth” Edition
In 1996, Independence Day wasn't just a holiday; it was a surviva...read more »
2025 Legacy: The "AI-Lawn" Maintenance
Why was the grass so perfect? Because the robotic mower used a la...read more »
2024 Classic: The "Fortnight" Taylor & Post Malone
Why did the 4th last two weeks? Because Taylor Swift’s lead singl...read more »
36 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2008 “Iron Man & Hope” Edition
In 2008, Independence Day was a mix of superhero optimism and eco...read more »
2025 Classic: The "Smart-Flag" Technology
Why was the American flag changing colors? Because it was an LED-...read more »
32 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2007 “iPhone & Umbrella” Edition
In 2007, Independence Day was the start of the "Touchscreen Era."...read more »
34 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2001 “Shrek & Space Odysseys” Edition
In 2001, Independence Day felt like the true start of the 21st ce...read more »

😜 More from category: The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Vintage: The The White Lotus
Thailand: Why was the 4th so "Elite"? Because the new season made...read more »
2025 Archive: The Apple Vision Pro "Normalcy"
Why were so many guests wearing high-tech goggles at the pool? Be...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Very Demure" Trend
Why was the 2024 parade so polite? Because everyone was trying to...read more »
2024 Legacy: The "Not Like Us" Kendrick Era
Why was the 2024 BBQ so "Loud"? Because the beef of the century m...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Fight_Club_Tyler12/16/1997 19:56The first rule of joke club is... tell everyone!
@Emule_Donkey02/18/2014 04:23Waiting in the queue was worth it.
@Project_Mayhem03/11/2007 10:58Our first rule: Laugh at everything.
@Jordan_Fan_2302/27/2015 04:49Nothing but net! This joke is a slam dunk!
@Clans_Leader_9910/05/2015 04:43Recruiting more funny jokes for our team!
@Starcraft_Zerg02/21/2012 05:27Zerg rush of laughter! Kekekekeke!
@Maplestory_Kid06/15/2003 15:13@@@@@@@@@@@@ HA HA HA!
@Mobile_Web_0105/29/1998 11:17Reading this on my Blackberry. Sharp!

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