Why was everyone afraid to look in the mirror? Because saying his name five times is still the worst idea in history. Part of the… Read More »2021 Classic: Candyman (2021)

Why did the 2021 zombies have such great 5G reception? Because everyone expected a free microchip from Bill Gates, but all they got was a… Read More »2021 Classic: Vaccine “Chips”

Why did the vampire claim he’s never seen two pretty best friends? Because one of them always had to be… well, dead. Part of the… Read More »2021 Classic: The “Two Pretty Best Friends” Guy

Why was Mark Zuckerberg’s ghost so weird? Because he claimed he wasn’t a ghost, but an “avatar in the Metaverse,” and he tried to sell… Read More »2021 Classic: Meta (Rebranding)

Why were there so many red flags over the pumpkin? Because in 2021, “liking candy corn” was an official reason to end a friendship. Part… Read More »2021 Legacy: The “Red Flag” Emoji

Why was the Halloween party held in a basement? Because after the movie won Best Picture, “living under the stairs” became the most critically acclaimed… Read More »2020 Vintage: Parasite (Oscar Aftermath)

Why was the suburban couple living in a black-and-white sitcom? Because we were all trapped in our houses, and imagining we were in a 1950s… Read More »2020 Legacy: WandaVision (Hype)

Why were the skeletons doing the same three arm movements over and over? Because Megan Thee Stallion told them they were “classy, moody, and nasty,”… Read More »2020 Classic: The “Savage” TikTok Dance

Why was the Halloween mood so grim? Because we spent the summer playing a game about a fungus apocalypse while living through a real one,… Read More »2020 Vintage: The Last of Us Part II

Why were the monsters chasing cars? Because “staying in your vehicle” was the only way to get jump-scared without violating local health ordinances. Part of… Read More »2020 Vintage: Drive-Thru Haunted Houses