2017 Vintage: The Diet
“I’m on the ‘Blockchain Diet’. I don’t actually eat anything; I just record the transaction of thinking about food.” Part of the 53 Doctor Jokes:… Read More »2017 Vintage: The Diet
2016 Classic: The Best Supporting Actor Race
Why did Sylvester Stallone lose? Because Mark Rylance’s “Would it help?” was the official mood of 2016. Part of the 41 Oscars Jokes: The 2016… Read More »2016 Classic: The Best Supporting Actor Race
2016 Legacy: Sing
Why was the pig wearing sequins? Because the movie proved that any animal with a dream can win a singing competition (and sell a lot… Read More »2016 Legacy: Sing
2016 Archive: The Dustin Johnson US Open
Why was the ruling so confusing? Because the USGA waited until the end of the round to penalize him, but he won by so much… Read More »2016 Archive: The Dustin Johnson US Open
2016 Archive: The NBA All-Star “Dunk Contest”
Why was Aaron Gordon vs. Zach LaVine the best? Because they spent an hour flying through the air and we still don’t know how Gordon… Read More »2016 Archive: The NBA All-Star “Dunk Contest”
2016 Classic: The Suicide Squad Hype
I spent six months looking at posters of Harley Quinn, and then two hours wondering why the Joker was only in the movie for ten… Read More »2016 Classic: The Suicide Squad Hype
2014 Vintage: The HMO Gym
It’s just a room where you try to climb out of your own medical debt. Part of the 61 Doctor Jokes: The 2014 “Ice Bucket… Read More »2014 Vintage: The HMO Gym
2014 Legacy: The Nightcrawler Eyes
Why was Jake Gyllenhaal so creepy? Because he looked like he hadn’t slept or blinked since 2005, proving that local news is 10% reporting and… Read More »2014 Legacy: The Nightcrawler Eyes
2013 Vintage: Iron Man 3
Why did Tony Stark have so many suits? Because in 2013, he realized that anxiety is easier to handle when you have 42 remote-controlled robots… Read More »2013 Vintage: Iron Man 3
2013 Classic: The Beaded Glasses Chain Drop
Letting a pair of half-moon reading glasses slam violently against a heavy plastic beaded necklace every single time a family member enters the front door.… Read More »2013 Classic: The Beaded Glasses Chain Drop