Printing the final annual parish budget summary on eye-searing, neon-green copy paper so that no family can claim they mistook the serious multi-thousand-dollar church deficit… Read More »2018 Vintage: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
I’m the “top” of the leaderboard. Part of the 126 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Snap & Battle Royale Edition (2018) archive. Historically Verified
Why did the lawyer cross the road? To serve a subpoena to the chicken’s “Data Protection Officer.” Part of the 45 Lawyer Jokes: The 2018… Read More »2018 Vintage: The Closing Argument
Why were the rolls just a single slice of cheese on a piece of bread? Because Dad tried to “luxury-outsource” the catering, and we ended… Read More »2017 Legacy: The Fyre Festival Fail
Why were they a sequel? To prove that the “Panama Papers” weren’t a fluke—rich people just found a different tropical island to hide their tax… Read More »2017 Legacy: The Paradise Papers
The principal sprinting into the hallway because twenty middle schoolers suddenly started climbing onto lockers and trash cans because someone yelled a simple phrase. Part… Read More »2017 Legacy: The Floor Is Lava Game
Why did Hulu win Best Drama before Netflix? Because The Handmaid’s Tale hit the cultural zeitgeist with more precision than a Frank Underwood revenge plot.… Read More »2017 Vintage: The Netflix vs. Hulu War
Why did he say “Mr. President, here is your Emmy”? Because Donald Trump famously complained on Twitter for years that The Apprentice never won. Part… Read More »2017 Vintage: The Alec Baldwin Speech
Why was Superman’s lip so weird? Because in 2017, we learned that CGI can remove a mustache, but it can’t hide the fact that the… Read More »2017 Vintage: Justice League
Why was the marketing team staring at a stock photo? Because they realized that “The New Strategy” was the girl in red, and “The Current… Read More »2017 Classic: The “Distracted Boyfriend” Meme
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