64 Observational One-Liners: The 2011 Viral Awakening

Step into 2011 – the year of the Siri debut, the launch of Minecraft (full version!), and the moment we all realized that “winter is coming” and it’s going to involve a lot of dragons and betrayal. It was the era of the Planking craze and the summer when Adele made the entire world cry simultaneously. Here is the observational archive of 2011.

The 2011 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The Game of Thrones Shock: I just watched a show where the main character lost his head in the first season. Now I’m afraid to get attached to anyone, even the horses.
2. The Siri Misunderstanding: I have a robot in my phone named Siri. I asked her to “call mom” and she searched for “coal bomb.” The future is almost here.
3. The Snapchat Mystery: My friend sent me a photo that disappeared after 5 seconds. I spent 4 of those seconds wondering why he looked like a dog.
4. The Adele “Someone Like You” Effect: I’ve never been through a messy breakup, but after listening to this album, I’m ready to call my non-existent ex and apologize in the rain.
5. The Planking Craze: I just saw a guy lying face-down on a mailbox for “the internet.” 2011 is the year we officially ran out of things to do with our spare time.
6. The Royal Wedding Hype: I woke up at 4 AM to watch a woman walk down an aisle in London. I don’t know her, but I’ve spent three hours discussing her lace sleeves.
7. The Minecraft Full Release: My nephew has spent 72 hours building a 1:1 scale replica of the Eiffel Tower out of digital cubes. I still can’t build a IKEA shelf.
8. The “Friday” Rebecca Black Phenomenon: It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday. This song is so bad that I’ve listened to it thirty times today just to feel something.
9. The Skyrim Obsession: I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee. Now I just spend my life shouting at digital dragons.
10. The Harry Potter Finality: The movies are over. I saw the “19 Years Later” scene and realized I’ve spent half my life waiting for an owl that is never coming.

The Full 2011 Archive (Extended List)

11. The “Moves Like Jagger”: Maroon 5 and Christina. I’ve been practicing the Jagger dance in my kitchen; I just look like I’m having a mild allergic reaction.
12. The Bridesmaids Food Poisoning: I will never look at a white wedding dress or a Brazilian steakhouse the same way again.
13. The “Rolling in the Deep”: Adele’s voice is so powerful it could probably restart a stalled car engine.
14. The Fast Five Transformation: They added The Rock and suddenly this racing franchise turned into a superhero movie with more tanks.
15. The “Party Rock Anthem”: Every day I’m shufflin’. I don’t know how to shuffle, so I just vibrate my legs and hope for the best.
16. The Super 8 Nostalgia: A movie that made me miss a childhood I never actually had, involving aliens and walkie-talkies.
17. The “Super Bass” Nicki Minaj: Boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, bass. My car’s speakers are officially crying for mercy.
18. The Moneyball Logic: Brad Pitt proved that you can win at baseball by using a calculator and eating a lot of snacks.
19. The “Born This Way”: Lady Gaga emerged from an egg. 2011 is the year we all accepted that “Mother Monster” is the boss.
20. The Rise of the Planet of the Apes: A movie that made me realize that a CGI monkey is a better actor than most humans.
21. The “Give Me Everything” Pitbull: Mr. Worldwide just asked me to “grab somebody sexy” and “tell ’em hey.” I’m at a library, so this is awkward.
22. The Drive Toothpick: Ryan Gosling said ten words in two hours, wore a satin jacket, and now I want to be a getaway driver.
23. The “E.T.” Katy Perry (Still): Kanye is still an alien. 2011 is a very long year for space-themed pop.
24. The Captain America: The First Avenger: Chris Evans went from a skinny guy to a tank. I’m still waiting for my super-soldier serum.
25. The “The Lazy Song” Bruno Mars: I don’t feel like doing anything… except watching monkeys in sunglasses dance for four minutes.
26. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Rooney Mara is terrifying and brilliant. I’m never getting a piercing or a motorcycle.
27. The “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)”: Katy Perry has a headgear and a party. 2011 is the peak of “maximalist” music videos.
28. The Contagion Paranoia: I just watched a movie about a virus and now I’m washing my hands every time I see a door handle.
29. The “S&M” Rihanna: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but the chains and whips are making the radio sensors very nervous.
30. The Thor Hammer: Chris Hemsworth arrived. 2011 is the year we realized that gods have better hair than us.
31. The “Someone Like You” SNL Sketch: 2011 is the year we all admitted that we eat ice cream and cry to Adele.
32. The X-Men: First Class: Magneto and Professor X are young and cool. I’m just old and tired.
33. The “On The Floor” J-Lo: Pitbull again. He is the official narrator of the year 2011.
34. The Hugo 3D: A movie about the history of cinema that actually made me like 3D for exactly 126 minutes.
35. The “Good Feeling” Flo Rida: He sampled Etta James and turned a classic into a gym anthem.
36. The Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol: Tom Cruise climbed the tallest building in the world. I get dizzy on a step ladder.
37. The “We Found Love” Rihanna: We found love in a hopeless place… which in 2011 is usually a crowded dance floor with a strobe light.
38. The Tintin CGI: The eyes are a bit weird, but the adventure is great. 2011 is the year of “Performance Capture.”
39. The “Grenade” Bruno Mars (Still): He’s still catching grenades. He must have a very high insurance premium.
40. The Puss in Boots Solo: He has his own movie now. The eyes are still his greatest weapon.
41. The “Mr. Saxobeat” Alexandra Stan: The official song of every summer holiday in Europe in 2011.
42. The Real Steel Premise: Hugh Jackman training a robot to box. 2011 is the year of “Why not put a robot in it?”
43. The “Paradise” Coldplay: A girl who expected the world but it flew away from her reach. Relatable 2011 vibes.
44. The Sherlock Season 2 Wait: That cliffhanger at the end of “The Reichenbach Fall” has ruined my life for the next two years.
45. The “Pumped Up Kicks” Foster The People: A very catchy song with very dark lyrics. 2011 was the year of the “hidden meaning” hit.
46. The Hangover Part II: It’s the same movie but in Bangkok. And there’s a monkey. I still laughed.
47. The “Sexy and I Know It”: LMFAO is wearing speedos and wiggling. I can never un-see the “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.”
48. The Midnight in Paris Dream: I want to walk through Paris and meet Hemingway, but I’ll probably just meet a mime and a tourist trap.
49. The “Titanium” David Guetta: Sia’s voice is literally indestructible. This song is the 2011 anthem of resilience.
50. The Green Lantern Disappointment: Ryan Reynolds has a CGI suit. Even he looks like he wants to leave the movie.
51. The “Jar of Hearts” Christina Perri: The official song for when you’re finally over that guy who treated you like a hobby.
52. The Horrible Bosses Reality: We’ve all thought about it, but Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston actually made it funny.
53. The “Without You” David Guetta & Usher: Another EDM-Pop masterpiece. 2011 is a very loud year.
54. The Melancholia Depression: Kirsten Dunst and a planet crashing into Earth. The most beautiful way to feel terrible.
55. The “Turn Up the Music” Chris Brown: The beat is heavy, the dancing is fast, and 2011 is still full of R&B.
56. The Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1: The wedding happened, the baby happened, and the CGI was… interesting.
57. The “Price Tag” Jessie J: It’s not about the money, money, money. Except in 2011, it’s definitely a little bit about the money.
58. The Muppets Comeback: Jason Segel and a lot of felt. 2011 is the year we realized we really missed Kermit.
59. The “Lighters” Bad Meets Evil: Eminem and Bruno Mars. The ultimate 2011 “lighter in the air” moment.
60. The War Horse Tears: Spielberg and a horse. I’ve never been so worried about a farm animal in my life.
61. The “Stereo Hearts” Gym Class Heroes: Adam Levine is on this too. Adam Levine is the guest star of the decade.
62. The 2011 MacBook Air: It’s still thin, it’s still cool, and it still doesn’t have a CD drive. The future is disc-less.
63. The 2011 Kindle Fire: A tablet that isn’t an iPad! Competition is finally here, and it’s very orange.
64. The 2011 Optimism: We’ve got Siri, Game of Thrones, and Adele. Surely the next decade will be full of peace and quiet.