48 Travel Jokes: The 2012 “End of the World & Invisible Horse” Edition

In 2012, travel felt like a victory lap. We survived the apocalypse, watched the London Olympics, and started using Instagram on Android, which meant even more photos of airplane wings. It was the year of the Tesla Model S, the iPad Mini, and the realization that Tinder was about to change how people meet in hostels forever.

The 2012 Top 10: The “Apocalypse & Oppan” Classics

1. The Mayan Calendar: Why did the traveler max out all his credit cards in Cancun? Because the Majowie said the world was ending in December, and he didn’t want to die with a high credit score.
2. The Gangnam Style: Why was the airport security line moving so weirdly? Because Psy’s song was playing and everyone was “Oppan Gangnam Style”-ing through the metal detector.
3. The London Olympics: Why was the tourist in London so confused? Because he expected to see James Bond and the Queen skydiving into his hotel room every night.
4. The Instagram for Android: Why did the iPhone users look so annoyed at the beach? Because Instagram finally launched on Android, and “the neighborhood” was getting crowded with non-Apple filters.
5. The Tinder Launch: Why was the backpacker staring at his phone instead of the Colosseum? Because Tinder launched and he was trying to find a “local guide” with a simple swipe to the right.
6. The Curiosity Rover: Why was the traveler jealous of a robot? Because a rover landed on Mars and had a better roaming data plan than he did in Switzerland.
7. The iPad Mini: Why was the passenger so happy? Because Apple released a smaller iPad, and he finally had a device that was perfectly sized for the tray table and his ego.
8. The Avengers Assemble: Why was the tourist in NYC looking at the Stark Tower? Because the movie came out and he spent his whole trip waiting for an alien invasion instead of a taxi.
9. The Facebook IPO: Why was the traveler “liking” everything? Because Facebook went public and he thought his “Likes” were now worth actual money.
10. The Skyfall: Why did every man buy a gray suit for his trip to Istanbul? Because Daniel Craig made “running on top of a train” look like a standard travel activity.

The Full 2012 Travel Jokes Archive

11. The Google Drive Launch: Why was the traveler so light? Because he put his whole life in “The Drive” and hoped the Wi-Fi in the hostel was strong enough to retrieve his dignity.
12. The Hunger Games: Why was the airport food court so intense? Because the movie came out and everyone felt like they had to fight for the last soggy slice of pizza.
13. The 4G LTE Expansion: Why was the traveler crying? Because he found a 4G signal and it was so fast he spent his entire monthly data limit in 14 seconds.
14. The Call Me Maybe: Why did the traveler give his number to the flight attendant? Because Carly Rae Jepsen made it look like a valid strategy, but he just got a “No Smoking” reminder.
15. The Nintendo Wii U: Why did the traveler bring a giant tablet to the hotel? Because he thought it was a portable console, but he realized it only worked 10 feet away from the TV.
16. The Pinterest Wedding: Why was the traveler carrying a pallet and 5 liters of chalkboard paint? Because her friend was having a “Rustic Destination Wedding” and Pinterest demanded it.
17. The MacBook Pro Retina: Why was the traveler squinting? Because the screen was so sharp he realized all his vacation photos from 2011 were actually terrible.
18. The Gotye “Somebody That I Used to Know”: Why was the traveler so colorful? Because he tried to paint himself into the hotel wallpaper just to feel something.
19. The Surface Tablet: Why was the businessman clicking his keyboard? Because Microsoft released the Surface and he wanted everyone to hear that “Click” of productivity.
20. The Ted Movie: Why was the traveler talking to his teddy bear? Because Seth MacFarlane made him believe that his childhood toy was just one thunder-buddy away from being his best friend.
21. The Candy Crush: Why was the passenger so focused? Because he was one “Color Bomb” away from finishing Level 65 and he didn’t care if the plane was landing.
22. The Instagram “Lux” Button: Why did the hotel room look like a radioactive zone? Because the traveler pressed the new “Lux” button and cranked it to 100%.
23. The Brave Movie: Why were all the tourists in Scotland looking for “Will-o’-the-wisps”? Because Disney made them believe that getting lost in the woods was a magical fate.
24. The iPhone 5: Why was the traveler’s phone so long? Because Apple added an extra row of icons and he felt like he was holding a very expensive chocolate bar.
25. The Magic Mike: Why was the bachelorette party so loud? Because they spent the whole flight to Vegas discussing “choreography.”
26. The Grumpy Cat: Why was the traveler frowning in every photo? Because he wanted to be the “Grumpy Cat” of the French Riviera.
27. The Looper Movie: Why was the traveler staring at his older self at the gate? Because he was convinced that time travel was real and his 10-hour delay was just a “loop.”
28. The One Direction: Why was the terminal full of screaming girls? Because “What Makes You Beautiful” was playing and they thought the boys were on the flight to London.
29. The Dark Knight Rises: Why was the traveler wearing a mask in the tunnel? Because Bane told him “You have my permission to die,” but he just wanted to get to the hotel.
30. The Samsung Galaxy S3: Why was the traveler “sharing” with his back? Because the phone had “S-Beam” and he had to bump phones with a stranger to send a photo.
31. The Life of Pi: Why was the traveler afraid of the cruise ship pool? Because he expected a Bengal tiger to be sharing his life raft.
32. The 50 Shades of Grey: Why was the woman blushing while reading her Kindle? Because she was “traveling” to a very different kind of destination in her mind.
33. The Siri “Maps” Disaster: Why did the traveler end up in the middle of a runway? Because Apple Maps launched and it was “slightly” less accurate than a drunk pigeon.
34. The Macklemore “Thrift Shop”: Why was the backpacker wearing a leopard-skin coat? Because he only had $20 in his pocket and he looked “incredible.”
35. The Hotel Transylvania: Why were the kids looking for monsters? Because they thought the hotel concierge was actually a vampire in disguise.
36. The Windows 8: Why was the traveler lost on his own screen? Because the “Start” button was gone and he felt like he was trapped in a digital maze.
37. The Fun. “We Are Young”: Why was the traveler setting his hotel room on fire? Because the song told him to “set the world on fire” and he took it too literally.
38. The Tesla Model S: Why was the road tripper looking for a plug? Because he had the first real electric luxury car and he was terrified of “range anxiety.”
39. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Why did the 2-hour flight feel like 9 hours? Because Peter Jackson made it 48 frames per second and included 3 hours of walking.
40. The Instagram “Video”: Why did everyone start filming 15-second clips of their lunch? Because Instagram added video and Vine was starting to sweat.
41. The Taylor Swift “We Are Never Ever…”: Why was the girl crying in the duty-free? Because she’d just broken up and Taylor was giving her the ultimate “vacation anthem.”
42. The Wii U GamePad: Why was the man using a TV remote in the lobby? Because he thought he could play Nintendo Land on the hotel’s 1990s television.
43. The Prometheus Movie: Why was the traveler asking “Who made us?” to the TSA agent? Because Ridley Scott made him question everything, including the liquid rule.
44. The Wii Fit U: Why was the traveler standing on a scale? Because he wanted to see if the “End of the World” made him lose weight.
45. The Gangnam Style Flash Mob: Why was the whole terminal dancing? Because 2012 was the year where you couldn’t escape the “Horse Dance” even in a funeral home.
46. The iPad 4: Why was the traveler annoyed? Because he bought the iPad 3 in March and Apple released the iPad 4 in October.
47. The Felix Baumgartner: Why did the traveler jump out of his seat? Because he watched the Red Bull Stratos jump and thought he could “space-dive” to the baggage claim.
48. The Pitch Perfect: Why was the girls’ choir singing “Cups” in the terminal? Because they thought they were “Aca-awesome” but the security guard disagreed.