47 Travel Jokes: The 2017 “Fidget Spinner & Despacito” Edition

In 2017, traveling became the playground for a new generation of gadgets. We were taking “portrait” photos with our iPhone 7 Plus (blurred backgrounds were a luxury!), paying for coffee at the airport with cryptocurrencies because Bitcoin was going to the moon, and trying to understand why every teenager in the hostel suddenly started spinning a plastic ring on their finger.

The 2017 Top 10: The “Slowly & Spinny” Classics

1. The Despacito Curse: Why did the traveler miss his boarding call? Because he was busy singing “Des-pa-cito” in the airport bar and realized he only knew three words of the lyrics.
2. The Fidget Spinner: Why was the security line so quiet? Because every kid was busy spinning a piece of plastic on their finger instead of asking “Are we there yet?”
3. The Nintendo Switch: Why was the passenger so happy during the 4-hour delay? Because he could play Zelda: Breath of the Wild on the plane and forget that he was actually stuck in a metal tube in Newark.
4. The Bitcoin Peak: Why did the backpacker order the most expensive steak in Bali? Because his Bitcoin went up to $19,000 and he felt like a digital billionaire for exactly three days.
5. The iPhone X Notch: Why was the traveler staring at his phone so intensely? Because he was trying to use “FaceID” to unlock it, but his face was so swollen from the 12-hour flight that the phone thought he was a stranger.
6. The Fyre Festival: Why was the “influencer” crying in a wet tent on a beach? Because she paid $12,000 for a luxury music festival and all she got was a soggy cheese sandwich and a broken dream.
7. The Salt Bae: Why was the waiter at the resort pouring salt over his forearm? Because he watched the viral video and now every tourist expected their eggs to be “seasoned with drama.”
8. The IT Movie: Why was the traveler terrified of the airport drainage system? Because Bill Skarsgård made him believe that a red balloon near a sewer meant his vacation was about to get very dark.
9. The Wonder Woman: Why were all the women at the resort feeling so powerful? Because Gal Gadot made them believe they could take down an entire army with just a pair of golden bracelets.
10. The Fortnite Launch: Why did the kids refuse to go to the beach? Because Fortnite just dropped and they were too busy “Flossing” in their hotel rooms to care about the ocean.

The Full 2017 Travel Jokes Archive

11. The Shape of You: Why was the traveler “in love with the body” of his suitcase? Because it was the only thing that didn’t break during the 3-country transit.
12. The Handmaid’s Tale: Why was the traveler wearing a red cloak and a white hat? Because the show started and she wanted to prove that “Nolite te bastardes carborundorum” is a great travel motto.
13. The Get Out Movie: Why did the guest leave the B&B after 5 minutes? Because the host started stirring a teacup with a silver spoon and he wasn’t taking any chances.
14. The Ed Sheeran Peak: Why was the airport radio so repetitive? Because if it wasn’t “Shape of You,” it was “Perfect,” and the traveler felt like his life was an Ed Sheeran music video.
15. The SpaceX Tesla: Why was the traveler looking for a car in space? Because Elon Musk launched a Roadster into orbit and now “Space Tourism” felt like it was just one Uber away.
16. The Instagram Portrait Mode: Why did the traveler’s face look so sharp but his ears were blurry? Because he used the new “Portrait Mode” and the software didn’t know where he ended and the Eiffel Tower began.
17. The Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Why was the fan so angry at the airport? Because he spent the whole flight arguing that “Luke wouldn’t do that!” to a confused passenger in 14C.
18. The Kendrick Lamar “Humble”: Why was the traveler “sitting down”? Because the airline told him to be “humble” and stay in his middle seat for the next 8 hours.
19. The Beauty and the Beast: Why was the tourist looking for a talking clock in France? Because the live-action movie made him believe that every castle came with musical furniture.
20. The Kylie Jenner Pregnancy: Why was the tabloid rack at the airport so mysterious? Because everyone was trying to figure out if Kylie was actually pregnant while she “traveled” in total secrecy.
21. The Coco Movie: Why was the traveler crying at the Mexican airport? Because he watched the movie on the flight and now he just wanted to “Remember Me” to his grandma.
22. The 280-Character Twitter: Why was the traveler’s complaint so long? Because Twitter doubled the character limit and now he had 280 characters to describe why the airline food was terrible.
23. The Baby Shark: Why was the toddler in the pool so rhythmic? Because the song was starting to conquer the world and there was no escape, not even underwater.
24. The Dunkirk Movie: Why was the passenger so tense during the boat ride? Because Christopher Nolan made him believe that every beach trip required three different timelines and a ticking clock.
25. The Nintendo Switch Joy-Cons: Why was the traveler shaking his hands? Because he was playing 1-2-Switch and trying to milk an imaginary cow in the middle of the terminal.
26. The Gucci Gang: Why was the traveler saying “Gucci Gang” 50 times? Because Lil Pump made him believe that repeating two words was a valid way to spend a vacation.
27. The Jumanji Sequel: Why was the traveler afraid of his own game console? Because the movie showed him that “Welcome to the Jungle” meant turning into The Rock or Kevin Hart.
28. The Bodak Yellow: Why was the woman at the resort so confident? Because Cardi B told her she didn’t have to dance, she just had to make “money moves.”
29. The Stranger Things 2: Why did the traveler stay in the “Upside Down” (the hotel basement)? Because he wanted to find Barb, but all he found was the laundry room.
30. The AirPods Craze: Why was the traveler looking at the floor? Because he dropped one AirPod and realized that $159 was currently sliding toward a storm drain.
31. The Lady Bird: Why was the girl jumping out of a moving car? Because she wanted to go to New York, but her mom told her they were going to Sacramento.
32. The Google Home Mini: Why was the traveler talking to a donut? Because the device was so small he almost ate it before asking it for the weather in Barcelona.
33. The Taylor Swift “Look What You Made Me Do”: Why was the old Taylor “dead” at the airport? Because she couldn’t come to the phone right now, probably because she was in the “Do Not Disturb” mode of her flight.
34. The Greatest Showman: Why was the traveler singing “This is Me” at the security gate? Because Hugh Jackman made him feel like a superstar, even while taking his belt off.
35. The iPhone 8 vs X: Why was the traveler so confused? Because he bought the iPhone 8 in September and felt “old” by November when the X came out.
36. The Bitmoji: Why did the traveler look like a cartoon? Because everyone was obsessed with their “Bitmoji” avatar and used it to send vacation updates instead of actual photos.
37. The Rick and Morty “Szechuan Sauce”: Why was the traveler at McDonald’s crying? Because they ran out of the sauce and his “multiversal” trip was ruined.
38. The Despacito Justin Bieber Remix: Why was the traveler saying “Burrito” instead of “Despacito”? Because even Bieber didn’t know the words and it was 2017’s favorite meme.
39. The Thor: Ragnarok: Why was the traveler so funny? Because Taika Waititi made the god of thunder a comedian, and now every tourist thought they were “The God of Hammers.”
40. The Instagram Carousel: Why was the girl posting 10 photos of the same sunset? Because Instagram added “Multiple Photos” and she couldn’t choose which one made her look more “spontaneous.”
41. The Justice League: Why was the traveler so disappointed? Because he waited for the “Snyder Cut” for the next four years while sitting in the airport lounge.
42. The Camila Cabello “Havana”: Why was the traveler’s heart in Cuba? Because the song told him so, even though he was actually on a layover in Atlanta.
43. The Fidget Spinner Ban: Why was the teacher at the resort so happy? Because schools started banning spinners, and for the first time in months, she could see her students’ faces.
44. The Blade Runner 2049: Why was the traveler staring at a holographic girl? Because the movie was so long he felt like he’d actually traveled to 2049 by the time it ended.
45. The Netflix “Binge-Watch”: Why did the traveler miss the city tour? Because he “accidentally” watched 13 episodes of Stranger Things in his hotel room.
46. The Bruno Mars “24K Magic”: Why was the traveler wearing a silk shirt and a gold chain? Because Bruno made “luxury” look like a 90s party and the traveler was ready to “Put your pinky rings up to the moon.”
47. The Logan Movie: Why were the guys crying over their steaks? Because Hugh Jackman finally hung up the claws and it was the end of an era for every “X-Men” fan on the road.