39 Oscars Jokes: The 2023 “Multiverses, Hot Dog Fingers & The Brenaissance” Edition

In 2023, the 95th Academy Awards proved that if you have enough googly eyes and a fanny pack, you can conquer Hollywood. It was the year Everything Everywhere All at Once turned the multiverse into a gold mine, Brendan Fraser completed the ultimate comeback, and we learned that a movie about a donkey is the saddest thing since the first ten minutes of Up.

The 2023 Red Carpet Top 10: “Googly Eyes & Comebacks”

1. The “Everything” Sweep: Why did a movie about taxes and hot dog fingers win 7 Oscars? Because the Academy realized that their own lives are just as confusing as a multiverse where people play the piano with their toes.
2. Ke Huy Quan’s Speech: Why was everyone crying? Because the kid from Indiana Jones reminded us that the “American Dream” is still alive, especially if you spend 20 years away from the camera and come back to win the biggest prize in town.
3. Michelle Yeoh’s History: Why was her win so significant? Because she proved that “Ladies, don’t let anyone tell you you’re ever past your prime,” especially when you can fight an entire army with a laundry receipt.
4. Brendan Fraser’s “Whale” Win: Why did the “Brenaissance” happen? Because Hollywood realized they missed his smile so much they were willing to watch him eat a bucket of fried chicken for two hours just to give him a trophy.
5. The “Na Zachodzie bez zmian” Power: Why did a German movie win 4 Oscars? To prove that war is still hell, but beautiful cinematography and a terrifying three-note score make it very “Oscar-worthy.”
6. The Jimmy Kimmel Parachute Entrance: Why did he drop from the ceiling? To parody Top Gun: Maverick and show that he’s the only person in Hollywood who can do his own stunts (with the help of a very expensive wire).
7. Jenny the Donkey’s Appearance: Why was there a donkey on stage? To remind the stars that even if they didn’t win, at least they weren’t the one who had to stand there and listen to Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes in a bow tie.
8. The “Naatu Naatu” Performance: Why was the energy so high? Because the Academy finally realized that if you have two men doing a synchronized dance, you don’t need a single special effect to blow everyone’s mind.
9. Jamie Lee Curtis’s First Win: Why was she so happy? Because after 45 years of being the “Scream Queen,” she finally got a statue that won’t try to chase her with a kitchen knife.
10. The “Avatar 2” Snub: Why didn’t James Cameron show up? Because he realized that if he spent 13 years making a movie and lost to a movie made in a laundromat, he was better off staying in his submarine.

The Full 2023 Oscars Jokes Archive

11. The Best Picture Win: Why did the multiverse win? Because the Academy voters were so tired of the real world they decided to move to the one with the rocks.
12. The Best Director Duo: Why did the Daniels win? To prove that two brains are better than one, especially when both brains are obsessed with butt plugs and bagels.
13. The Best Original Screenplay: Why did Everything Everywhere win? For turning a family audit into a spiritual awakening.
14. The Best Adapted Screenplay: Why did Women Talking win? To show that Sarah Polley can make a barn conversation more intense than a Marvel fight scene.
15. The Best Costume Design: Why did Black Panther: Wakanda Forever win? Because Ruth E. Carter is the only person who can win an Oscar for 3D-printed African royalty fashion.
16. The Best Makeup Win: Why did The Whale win? Because turning Brendan Fraser into a 600-pound man is a feat of engineering that required more silicone than a tire factory.
17. The Best Art Direction: Why did All Quiet on the Western Front win? Because they made a muddy trench in 1917 look like a masterpiece of tragic interior design.
18. The Best Cinematography: Why did James Friend win? For making a flare in the night sky the most beautiful thing we saw in 2023.
19. The Best Sound Win: Why did Top Gun: Maverick win? Because the sound of an F-18 engine is the only thing that can make a 60-year-old man feel like a teenager again.
20. The Best Film Editing: Why did the multiverse sweep? Because cutting between a kung-fu fight and a chef with a raccoon on his head is the ultimate brain teaser.
21. The Best Visual Effects: Why was Avatar: The Way of Water a lock? Because James Cameron spent a decade making sure the water looked more real than the actual water in the lobby.
22. The Best Original Score: Why did the German war movie win? Because three loud piano notes are apparently more effective than a full orchestra.
23. The Best Original Song: Why did “Naatu Naatu” win? To prove that the “RRR” fever was the only thing more infectious than a Hollywood virus.
24. The Best International Feature: Why was Germany the winner? Because the Academy loves a classic tragedy, especially if it’s based on a book everyone read in high school.
25. The Best Documentary Feature: Why did Navalny win? To remind us that real-life heroes don’t wear capes, they just survive poison and go back for more.
26. The Best Animated Feature: Why did Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio win? Because he proved that animation isn’t just for kids—it’s for anyone who wants to cry about a wooden boy and his cricket friend.
27. The Best Live Action Short: Why did An Irish Goodbye win? Because they sang “Happy Birthday” on stage and reminded us that the Oscars can be wholesome for exactly 30 seconds.
28. The Best Animated Short: Why did The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse win? Because hand-drawn kindness is the official antidote to a cynical year.
29. The Best Documentary Short: Why did The Elephant Whisperers win? To show that a bond between a human and a baby elephant is the purest thing on Netflix.
30. Lady Gaga’s “No Makeup” Performance: Why did she sing in a t-shirt? To prove that “Hold My Hand” doesn’t need a costume if you have enough vocal cords to power a small city.
31. The Elizabeth Banks “Cocaine Bear” Bit: Why did she trip? To show that presenting an award with a guy in a bear suit is the most dangerous job in show business.
32. The Hugh Grant “Vanity Fair” Interview: Why was it so awkward? Because Hugh Grant decided that being at the Oscars was a fate worse than death, and Ashley Graham was the one who had to witness it.
33. The “Banshees” Snub: Why did it lose all 9 nominations? Because the Academy decided that cutting off your fingers is “Too Dark,” but hot dog fingers are “Just Right.”
34. The Stephanie Hsu “Rocks” Moment: Why was she the heart of the movie? Because she proved that even in a multiverse, a daughter just wants her mom to see her.
35. The Angela Bassett Face: Why did she look so disappointed? Because her “Queen Ramonda” was the official favorite, and losing to a multiverse was a plot twist she didn’t enjoy.
36. The Best Sound Editing: Why was the jet movie technical? Because the sound of “Mach 10” is the sound of Tom Cruise’s paycheck.
37. The Governor’s Ball: Why was the food so “Multicultural”? Because after Everything Everywhere, serving just a standard chicken dinner felt like a lack of imagination.
38. The Michelle Yeoh & Jamie Lee Curtis Friendship: Why was it so popular? To show that being “Best Supporting” and “Best Lead” is better when you’re actually best friends.
39. The 2023 Final Oscars Vibe: Why was it a “Classic” year? Because it was the night the underdog swept the board, the legends came home, and the 2023 Oscars proved that no matter which universe you’re in, a good story will always find its way to the gold.