43 Oscars Jokes: The 2022 “CODA, The Slap & Dune’s Desert Sweep” Edition

In 2022, the 94th Academy Awards returned to the Dolby Theatre and delivered a show that literally nobody could stop talking about—for reasons the Academy definitely didn’t plan. It was the year CODA proved that streaming is the new cinema, Dune took home all the sand-colored gold, and Will Smith taught the world that “Live TV” still has the power to make everyone’s jaw drop at the exact same time.

The 2022 Red Carpet Top 10: “Silences & Slaps”

1. The “Slap” Heard ‘Round the World: Why did everyone forget who won Best Picture? Because Will Smith decided that the best way to handle a joke about GI Jane was to give Chris Rock a live demonstration of “The Pursuit of Happyness” (impact version).
2. The “CODA” Victory: Why was its win so historic? Because it proved that a movie about a deaf family and a fishing boat can beat a billion-dollar blockbuster, provided it has enough heart and a very charming Troy Kotsur.
3. Troy Kotsur’s History: Why did he win Best Supporting Actor? Because he proved that you don’t need a voice to give the most moving, funny, and profound speech of the decade—you just need your hands and a lot of soul.
4. The “Dune” Technical Sweep: Why did it win 6 Oscars? Because the Academy decided that if you spend $165 million to make sand look that expensive, you deserve every technical trophy in the building.
5. Ariana DeBose’s “West Side” Win: Why was her win so special? Because 60 years after Rita Moreno won for the same role, Ariana proved that “Anita” is the official lucky charm of the Academy Awards.
6. The Three Hosts: Why did Regina Hall, Amy Schumer, and Wanda Sykes host? Because after three years of no hosts, the Academy figured they needed at least three people to handle the chaos (and they still weren’t enough).
7. The “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” Performance: Why did they sing it if it wasn’t nominated? To remind everyone that even the Academy knows when they’ve made a mistake in the nomination process.
8. Jessica Chastain’s “Eyes of Tammy Faye” Win: Why did she win? Because she spent four hours in a makeup chair every day to look like a woman who wore 10 pounds of mascara, and that’s the kind of dedication Hollywood loves.
9. The Fan Favorite Award: Why did Army of the Dead win? To prove that if you let the internet vote, you’re going to get a zombie movie winning an Oscar, which is exactly why the Academy shouldn’t let the internet vote.
10. Jane Campion’s Directing Win: Why did she win for The Power of the Dog? Because she proved that Montana is a very scary place for cowboys who have a lot of repressed feelings.

The Full 2022 Oscars Jokes Archive

11. The “CODA” Best Picture: Why did it win? To show that sometimes the “Small Movie That Could” actually does, especially if it’s on Apple TV+.
12. The Best Original Screenplay: Why did Belfast win? Because Kenneth Branagh proved that a childhood in black-and-white is the best way to get a gold statue at 61.
13. The Best Adapted Screenplay: Why did CODA win? For turning a French film into an American classic about family and fish.
14. The Best Costume Design: Why did Cruella win? Because 1970s London punk fashion is the only thing that can make a dalmatian look like a fashion accessory.
15. The Best Makeup Win: Why did Tammy Faye’s eyelashes win? Because they were technically a supporting character in the movie.
16. The Best Production Design: Why did Dune win? Because they built a desert world that looked so dry the audience needed a glass of water just watching it.
17. The Best Cinematography: Why did Greig Fraser win? For making a giant worm look like a masterpiece of light and shadow.
18. The Best Sound Win: Why did the desert movie win again? Because the “Voice” in Dune is the scariest thing to happen to ears since the invention of the bagpipe.
19. The Best Visual Effects: Why was Dune a lock? To prove that giant sandworms are more impressive than giant Marvel villains.
20. The Best Film Editing: Why did Dune take home six? Because cutting a four-hour epic into a two-hour movie is a feat of modern engineering.
21. The Best Original Score: Why did Hans Zimmer win from his hotel room? Because he’s Hans Zimmer—he doesn’t need to be there to make the room shake with bass.
22. The Best Original Song: Why did Billie Eilish win for No Time to Die? To prove that if you sing a Bond song with enough whispery sadness, the Oscar is yours.
23. The Best International Feature: Why did Drive My Car win? Because Japan reminded us that a three-hour movie about a red Saab and a play is the ultimate definition of “Art.”
24. The Best Documentary Feature: Why did Summer of Soul win? Because Questlove found the greatest concert footage in history hidden in a basement and realized it was worth its weight in gold.
25. The Best Animated Feature: Why did Encanto win? Because Disney-Pixar still has a monopoly on making every child in the world sing the same five songs for six months.
26. The Honorary Award for Samuel L. Jackson: Why? Because it took 30 years for the Academy to give him a trophy, and he managed to accept it without saying his favorite “M-F” word (barely).
27. The Best Live Action Short: Why did The Long Goodbye win? Because Riz Ahmed proved that you can win an Oscar for a short film that feels more like a punch to the gut.
28. The Best Animated Short: Why did The Windshield Wiper win? To show that “Love” is a complicated thing, especially when it’s hand-drawn and moody.
29. The Best Documentary Short: Why did The Queen of Basketball win? Because Lusia Harris was a legend who finally got her flowers on the big stage.
30. The Will Smith Win: Why was it so awkward? Because he won Best Actor five minutes after the incident, making it the only “Victory Speech” in history where the audience was afraid to look him in the eye.
31. The Chris Rock Response: Why was he so professional? Because he realized that “Comedy” is a dangerous sport, but “Live TV” is even crazier.
32. The “Godfather” 50th Anniversary: Why were Coppola, Pacino, and De Niro there? To remind the 2022 stars that they’re lucky they don’t have to deal with horse heads in their beds.
33. The Best Sound Editing: Why was Dune so technical? Because the sound of sand blowing is apparently worth more than a thousand words.
34. The “Power of the Dog” Snub: Why didn’t it win Best Picture? Because the Academy decided that a happy movie about a family is better than a sad movie about a cowboy with a secret.
35. The Benedict Cumberbatch Nomination: Why was he there for Power of the Dog? To prove that he can play a mean cowboy just as well as he can play a British wizard.
36. The Nicole Kidman “Reaction” Meme: Why was her face so famous? Because she looked exactly like everyone at home when the slap happened.
37. The Amy Schumer “Spider-Man” Bit: Why did she come down from the ceiling? To prove that even if you’re not a superhero, you can still have a very expensive entrance.
38. The Best Supporting Actress Race: Why did Judi Dench lose? Because Ariana DeBose was “Cool” and from “West Side,” and you can’t beat that combo.
39. The Lady Gaga & Liza Minnelli Moment: Why was it so moving? Because Lady Gaga whispered “I got you” to a legend, reminding us that Hollywood still has a heart.
40. The Governor’s Ball: Why was the mood so weird? Because nobody knew if they should talk about the movie wins or the boxing match that happened on stage.
41. The Best Production Design: Why did the sand win? Because building a spaceship is hard, but building a spaceship that looks “Used” is Art.
42. The Anthony Hopkins Presenter Bit: Why was he back? To show the 2021 losers that he actually can make it to the ceremony if he wants to.
43. The 2022 Final Oscars Vibe: Why was it a “Classic” year? Because it was the night the “Small” movie made history, the “Sand” movie swept the tech, and the 2022 Oscars reminded us that in Hollywood, you should always expect the unexpected—especially when the mic is live.