37 Presidential Jokes: The 2015 “Escalators & Iran Deals” Edition

In 2015, the American Presidency was a mix of “Legacy Building” and “Campaign Chaos.” It was the year of the Iran Deal, the year the Supreme Court turned the White House rainbow-colored, and the year the political world realized that a “Reality Star” could hijack a news cycle faster than a “State of the Union” address.

The 2015 Executive Top 10: “Rainbows & Rubicon”

1. The Trump Escalator Ride: Why did Donald Trump choose an escalator to announce his run? Because in 2015, the GOP realized that their primary was no longer a race—it was a downward-moving platform into a “Very Huge” reality show.
2. The Iran Nuclear Deal: Why was the 2015 deal so complex? Because it’s the only time in history the U.S. tried to stop a country from building a bomb using nothing but “Inspections” and “John Kerry’s Bicycle.”
3. The Supreme Court Marriage Ruling: Why did the White House turn into a rainbow? To show that in 2015, “Love Wins,” and also to prove that the President has a very good relationship with the guy in charge of the exterior lighting.
4. The “What Color is the Dress?” Debate: Why did the White House weigh in? Because “Blue and Black” or “White and Gold” was the only national debate in 2015 that didn’t involve a subpoena or a drone strike.
5. The Clinton Email Server Scandal: Why was Hillary’s server in a bathroom? Because in 2015, she realized that “Privacy” is something you can only find in a small room with a locked door and a lot of bleach.
6. The Paris Climate Agreement: Why was it signed in 2015? To prove that 195 countries can agree to “save the world” as long as the deadline is far enough in the future that none of them will be in office to see it.
7. The “Low Energy” Jeb Bush: Why did Trump call him “Low Energy”? Because in 2015, being a “Qualified Governor” was considered less important than being a “Human Megaphone.”
8. The Pope Francis Visit: Why did the President give the Pope a piece of the Statue of Liberty? Because after a week in D.C., the Pope probably needed a reminder that “Liberty” used to be a lot more welcoming.
9. The Cuba Embassy Reopening: Why did the flag go up in Havana? Because after 54 years, the President decided that if we can’t beat them, we might as well go there for a very high-level mojito.
10. The “Hamilton” Musical Debut: Why did Obama love the show? Because it was the only way to see a “Federalist” and a “Democratic-Republican” argue in a way that actually had a catchy rhythm.

The Full 2015 Presidential Jokes Archive

11. The “Short Fingered Vulgarian”: Why did the 2015 media focus on Trump’s hands? To prove that in American politics, the “Size of the Man” is directly proportional to his ability to sue a magazine.
12. The Blue Origin & SpaceX Landings: Why was the President cheering? Because he realized that if the 2016 election got any weirder, he’d need a reusable rocket to leave the planet.
13. The “Deez Nuts” Candidate: Why was a 15-year-old polling at 9% in Iowa? Because in 2015, “Deez Nuts” actually had a more coherent platform than some of the 17 GOP candidates.
14. The Mad Max: Fury Road Success: Why did politicians relate to the movie? Because “Driving through a desert while screaming for water” was the official vibe of the California drought.
15. The “Netflix and Chill” Era: Why did the White House use the phrase? They didn’t, but the Secret Service used it as a code word for “The President is watching House of Cards and doesn’t want to be disturbed.”
16. The FIFA Corruption Scandal: Why did the U.S. arrest the soccer officials? To prove that the only thing more corrupt than a “Political Action Committee” is a “Soccer Tournament Committee.”
17. The Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Why was the White House briefing interrupted by Stormtroopers? To show that in 2015, the “Dark Side” wasn’t just in the movies—it was also in the comments section of Breitbart.
18. The “Left Shark” Super Bowl: Why did the President relate to the dancer? Because he also felt like he was doing a carefully choreographed routine while everyone else was just waving their arms in the wrong direction.
19. The Pluto Flyby (New Horizons): Why did we love the “Heart” on Pluto? To remind the President that even a frozen rock 3 billion miles away has a warmer personality than the Senate Majority Leader.
20. The Volkswagen Emissions Scandal: Why were they in trouble? Because they learned that “faking the truth” is only a sustainable business model if you’re a politician, not a car manufacturer.
21. The “Feel the Bern” Movement: Why was Bernie Sanders so popular? Because in 2015, “Democratic Socialism” was the only thing that could make a 74-year-old man from Vermont look like a rock star.
22. The “Look at that Face” Quote: Why was the GOP debate so personal? To prove that in 2015, a “Policy Debate” was just a “Beauty Pageant” with more talk about the border.
23. The Apple Watch Launch: Why did politicians buy them? To have a device that tells them to “Stand Up” during meetings that they really should have left an hour ago.
24. The “Everything is Awesome” (Again): Why was the 2015 economy like a Lego set? Because it looked great in the box, but if you stepped on it in the dark, it still hurt like hell.
25. The Hotline Bling Dance: Why did Drake’s video go viral? Because his dance moves were exactly how a President looks when he’s trying to “dodge” a question about the budget.
26. The “Bad Blood” Video: Why did everyone watch Taylor Swift? Because “Bad Blood” was the official theme song for the relationship between the White House and Benjamin Netanyahu.
27. The “Carly Fiorina” Face Comment: Why was it a scandal? Because Trump realized that in 2015, you can say anything about a person’s policy, but don’t mention their “High Definition” appearance.
28. The Nepal Earthquake: Why was the world so generous? To remind the President that “Natural Disasters” are the only time everyone remembers we live on the same planet.
29. The Jurassic World Premiere: Why did it break records? Because in 2015, we all wanted to see what happens when “Old Dinosaurs” take over a park—which is basically what happens every time Congress goes back into session.
30. The “Binders Full of Women” (Legacy): Why was it back? Because in 2015, the “Trump Version” of the binder was just a “Miss Universe” program.
31. The Cecil the Lion Outrage: Why was the dentist the most hated man in America? Because in 2015, a “Lion in Zimbabwe” had a better PR team than the entire Department of Veterans Affairs.
32. The “Hillary Clinton on SNL”: Why did she play a bartender? To prove that after 25 years in politics, she’s the only person who knows exactly how much a voter needs to drink to get through an election.
33. The “Nasty Woman” & “Bad Hombres” (Preview): Why were the debates getting so weird? Because the 2016 script was already being written by a group of very caffeinated reality TV producers.
34. The “Selfie” in the Dictionary: Why was it the Word of the Year? Because in 2015, if you didn’t take a photo of yourself doing something, did it even happen at the White House?
35. The El Chapo Escape: Why was the “Tunnel” so famous? Because it was the only “Infrastructure Project” in 2015 that actually finished ahead of schedule and under budget.
36. The “I Will Build a Wall” Promise: Why did it work? Because in 2015, Americans were so tired of “Complex Solutions” that they were ready to vote for “A Big Piece of Concrete.”
37. The Final 2015 Vibe: Why was it “Tense”? Because the President was wrapping up his legacy, the “Outsiders” were taking over the stage, and we ended the year realizing that 2016 was going to be the wildest ride in American history.