36 Presidential Jokes: The 2021 “Inaugurations & Mittens” Edition

In 2021, the American Presidency switched from “Unfiltered Tweets” to “Aviator Sunglasses and Ice Cream.” It was a year of “Building Back Better,” the year we learned that a fence around the Capitol is the new Washington fashion, and the year the Vice President finally got a residence that wasn’t a bunker.

The 2021 Executive Top 10: “Transitions & Tensions”

1. The January 6th “Tour”: Why was the Capitol so busy on January 6th? Because apparently, a few thousand people misunderstood the meaning of a “Peaceful Transfer of Power” and thought it was an “Extreme Home Makeover: DC Edition.”
2. The Bernie Sanders Mittens: Why was Bernie the star of the Inauguration? Because he proved that in 2021, you can be at the most powerful event on Earth and still look like you’re just waiting for the bus to the hardware store.
3. The “Build Back Better” Slogan: Why was it called that? Because “Fixing the Mess We’ve Been Arguing About for 20 Years” didn’t fit on a bumper sticker.
4. The Afghanistan Withdrawal: Why was it so chaotic? Because in 2021, the government realized that “Leaving a Party” is much harder when you’ve been there for 20 years and forgot where you parked the tanks.
5. The “Ice Cream” Diplomacy: Why does Joe Biden love chocolate chip ice cream so much? Because it’s the only thing in Washington that’s guaranteed to be “Cool” and doesn’t require a Senate confirmation.
6. The Vaccine Passports: Why were they so controversial? Because in 2021, a piece of paper proving you’re healthy was treated with more suspicion than a mysterious email from a Nigerian prince.
7. The “C’mon Man” Catchphrase: Why does the President say it so much? To remind us that in 2021, “Common Sense” was the rarest resource in the entire federal government.
8. The Ever Given Canal Block: Why did the White House watch the ship in the Suez Canal? Because a giant boat stuck in the mud was the perfect metaphor for the 2021 legislative process.
9. The Space Tourism Race: Why did Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson go to space in ’21? To find a place where they didn’t have to hear about “Infrastructure Bills” or “Minimum Wage.”
10. The “Brandon” Meme: Why did “Let’s Go Brandon” become a thing? Because in 2021, Americans decided that “Code Words” were the best way to handle a political argument at a NASCAR race.

The Full 2021 Presidential Jokes Archive

11. The “Double Masking” Recommendation: Why did we wear two masks? To prove that in 2021, we were twice as worried as we were in 2020, but only half as likely to be understood.
12. The Infrastructure Week (Finally): Why did it actually happen in 2021? Because after four years of “Infrastructure Week” jokes, the bridge actually decided to break.
13. The Dog in the White House (Major): Why did the President’s dog have to leave? To prove that even “First Dogs” find the Secret Service a little too bitey for their taste.
14. The “Supply Chain” Crisis: Why was my Christmas present late? Because in 2021, “Global Logistics” was defeated by a lack of wooden pallets and a lot of people wanting air fryers at the same time.
15. The Squid Game Premiere: Why did D.C. love it? Because they recognized the plot: a group of people in debt playing deadly games for the entertainment of the elite.
16. The “Non-Fungible Tokens” (NFTs): Why did the President ignore them? Because he couldn’t figure out how to put a “Veto” on a digital drawing of a bored ape.
17. The Facebook “Meta” Rebrand: Why did Zuckerberg change the name? Because in 2021, “Facebook” was a place for your grandma’s conspiracy theories, but “Meta” sounded like a place where they don’t have subpoenas.
18. The Delta and Omicron Variants: Why were they named after Greek letters? To remind us that in 2021, we were all failing a “Science and History” test at the same time.
19. The “Jan 6” Commission: Why was it so controversial? Because in Washington, “Finding Out What Happened” is considered a partisan attack.
20. The COP26 Summit: Why did everyone fly private jets to talk about the climate? To prove that “Irony” is the most renewable energy source in 2021.
21. The “No Malarkey” (Legacy): Why was it back? Because after 2020, even a little bit of “Malarkey” felt like an overdose.
22. The Gasoline Prices Rise: Why was the “I Did That” sticker on every pump? To show that in 2021, a President is personally responsible for the price of every gallon of gas in America.
23. The “Work from Home” Revolution: Why was the White House empty? Because even political staffers realized that you can leak “Top Secret” info just as easily from your pajamas.
24. The Prince Philip Passing: Why was it a ’21 milestone? To remind the world that “Staying in the Background” for 70 years is a skill no modern politician possesses.
25. The Billionaire Tax Proposal: Why did it fail? Because in 2021, “Taxing the Rich” was a great campaign slogan but a terrible way to get a campaign donation.
26. The “Cinematic” Withdrawal: Why did the President say the Afghan exit was a “Success”? Because in 2021, “Success” is defined by how you edit the footage for the evening news.
27. The Inflation Surge: Why did bacon cost $10? Because the “Economy” decided to have its own “Growth Spurt” right when our bank accounts were taking a nap.
28. The “Great Resignation”: Why did everyone quit their jobs? Because in 2021, people realized that “Making Coffee for a Grumpy Boss” was not an essential life skill during a pandemic.
29. The Friends Reunion: Why did the White House watch it? To see if “We were on a break” was a valid excuse for the 20-year gap in the budget surplus.
30. The Spider-Man: No Way Home: Why was it a hit? Because in 2021, we all wanted to open a “Multiverse” where the last two years never happened.
31. The G7 Cornwell Summit: Why was the photo of world leaders on the beach so famous? Because it looked like a “Retirement Home Outing” that accidentally stumbled into a global summit.
32. The “Cybersecurity” Executive Order: Why was it signed? Because after the Colonial Pipeline hack, the government realized that “Password123” was not enough to protect the national oil supply.
33. The Tokyo Olympics (Delayed): Why were they so quiet? Because in 2021, “Athletic Excellence” is much harder to celebrate when the audience is just a series of cardboard cutouts.
34. The “Voting Rights” Battle: Why was it so fierce? Because in 2021, “How we count the votes” became more important than “Who we vote for.”
35. The El Salvador Bitcoin Policy: Why was the U.S. worried? Because they didn’t want a “National Economy” to be based on something that moves more than a toddler on a sugar rush.
36. The Final 2021 Vibe: Why was it “Tiring”? Because we ended the year with a new variant, a high grocery bill, and the realization that “Normal” was still “Loading… 99%.”