36 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2022 “Top Gun & Running Up That Hill” Edition

In 2022, Independence Day was a “High-Octane Revival.” We were all wearing aviator sunglasses, obsessing over “Corn Kid” (it has the juice!), and realizing that 80s synth-pop is actually the official soundtrack of the 2020s. It was the year of Top Gun: Maverick, the return of Stranger Things, and the realization that a “Wordle” score is the only thing people care about more than their firework display.

The 2022 Independence Top 10: “Aviators & Upside Down”

1. The Top Gun: Maverick Effect: Why was the 2022 BBQ so “Fast”? Because after seeing Tom Cruise, every Dad at the grill was wearing aviators and calling the burger flip a “Cobra Maneuver” while humming “Danger Zone.”
2. The Stranger Things 4 Curse: Why was everyone wearing headphones during the fireworks? Because Vecna was on the loose, and the only way to stay safe was to play “Running Up That Hill” by Kate Bush on a 24-hour loop.
3. The “Corn Kid” Inspiration: Why was the corn on the cob the star of the BBQ? Because “it’s corn! A big lump with knobs, it has the juice!” and suddenly, 2022 made a 7-year-old the official ambassador of summer vegetables.
4. The Wordle Obsession: Why was the 2022 parade so quiet? Because everyone was busy trying to guess a 5-letter word in six tries, and the “Yellow” and “Green” boxes were more exciting than the Roman Candles.
5. The “About Damn Time” Lizzo Era: Why was the 4th so “Confident”? Because Lizzo told us it was “about damn time” we had a real BBQ again, and we felt “way too fine” while eating our third helping of ribs.
6. The Elvis Biopic Hype: Why was the Uncle shaking his hips? Because Austin Butler made everyone think they could pull off a pink suit and a Southern drawl while handing out patriotic napkins.
7. The “As It Was” Harry Styles: Why was the 4th so “Reflective”? Because Harry Styles reminded us that “it’s not the same as it was,” which was a great excuse for why there were no more deviled eggs left.
8. The The Batman Vibe: Why was the 2022 BBQ so “Dark”? Because Robert Pattinson’s Batman made being “Vengeance” the only acceptable mood for someone standing in the shadows of the porch.
9. The Twitter/X Buyout Talk: Why were the BBQ arguments so “Bird-focused”? Because Elon Musk was in the middle of buying Twitter, and everyone was busy “tweeting” their opinion about whether the bird was going to survive the summer.
10. The “Giggle” (Bejeweled) Taylor Swift: Why was the 4th so “Sparkly”? Because Taylor was teasing Midnights, and we were all getting ready to “shimmer” under the firework display.

The Full 2022 Fourth of July Archive

11. The “First Class” Jack Harlow: Why was the 2022 BBQ so “Glamorous”? Because Jack Harlow sampled Fergie and made every “suburban flight” to the grocery store feel like a private jet experience.
12. The Jurassic World: Dominion: Why was there a dinosaur in the yard? Because the movie brought back the original trio, making every “Boomer” at the BBQ feel like they were in 1993 again.
13. The “Bad Habit” Steve Lacy: Why was the 4th so “Tongue-tied”? Because we all wished we knew “you wanted me” before we ate the last slice of watermelon.
14. The Minions: The Rise of Gru: Why were there so many teens in suits? Because the “Gentleminions” trend made dressing up for a kids’ movie more patriotic than the actual holiday.
15. The “Wait For U” Future: Why was the 4th so “Toxic-but-Chill”? Because Future and Drake made “waiting for the burgers” sound like a dramatic R&B heartbreak.
16. The Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: Why was the BBQ “trippy”? Because Wanda Maximoff proved that “Mom energy” is the most powerful force in the multiverse.
17. The “Sunroof” Nicky Youre: Why was the 4th so “Breezy”? Because this song made “sticking your head out a car window” the official feeling of July 2022.
18. The The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent: Why was the Dad acting like Nicolas Cage? Because the movie proved that being Nicolas Cage is a full-time job that requires a lot of “Nouveau Shamanic” energy.
19. The “Unholy” Sam Smith: Why was the 4th so “Mummy don’t know”? Because this song made “doing something naughty” (like skipping the salad) sound like a club anthem.
20. The Lightyear “To Infinity”: Why was the 4th so “Space-ranger”? Because we finally got the “real” Buzz Lightyear story, making every Dad want to fly his lawn chair “to infinity and beyond.”
21. The “Heat Waves” Glass Animals: Why was the 4th so “Late-Night”? Because this song broke the record for the longest climb to #1, proving that 2022 was just a long, sweaty dream from 2020.
22. The Thor: Love and Thunder: Why was the sky so “Metal”? Because Taika Waititi turned the 4th into a Guns N’ Roses music video with screaming goats.
23. The “Break My Soul” Beyoncé: Why was the 4th so “Motivating”? Because Beyoncé told us to quit our jobs and find a new foundation, which is exactly what we did after the BBQ.
24. The The Lost City Adventure: Why was the 4th so “Sparkly-Jumpsuit”? Because Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock reminded us that “Leech-removal” is a vital skill for any outdoor party.
25. The “Vegas” Doja Cat: Why was the 4th so “Hound Dog”? Because Doja Cat brought the 50s back with a beat that made the “King of Rock” sound like the “King of the BBQ.”
26. The Everything Everywhere All At Once: Why were there googly eyes on the hot dogs? Because the movie made us realize that in another universe, we have sausages for fingers.
27. The “Enemy” Imagine Dragons: Why was the 4th so “Arcane”? Because the League of Legends show made everyone “look out for themselves” while grabbing the last wing.
28. The The Black Phone: Why were we afraid of the basement? Because Ethan Hawke made us think that a disconnected rotary phone was the scariest thing at the party.
29. The “Numb Little Bug” Em Beihold: Why was the 4th so “Relatable”? Because we were all “a little bit tired of life,” but “doing okay” as long as the fireworks were bright.
30. The Sonic the Hedgehog 2: Why was Idris Elba at the BBQ? Because he voiced Knuckles, making a red echidna the most intimidating guest of 2022.
31. The “Late Night Talking” Harry Styles: Why was the 4th so “Conversational”? Because Harry made “talking all night” sound like a summer breeze instead of a social obligation.
32. The Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Teasers): Why was the 4th so “Emotional”? Because the first trailers made us all “Cry a River” while waiting for the tribute to T’Challa.
33. The “Made You Look” Meghan Trainor: Why was the 4th so “Gucci”? Because the TikTok dance made everyone think that “looking good in a hoodie” was a revolutionary act.
34. The Bullet Train Action: Why was the 4th so “High-Speed”? Because Brad Pitt made “being unlucky” look like a masterclass in comedic timing.
35. The “Tití Me Preguntó” Bad Bunny: Why was the 4th so “Global”? Because Bad Bunny made Spanish-language trap the only thing playing in every backyard in America.
36. The 2022 Final Vibe: Why was it a “Top Gun” 4th? Because we were “Running Up That Hill,” guessing our “Wordles,” and realizing that even if the world felt “Upside Down,” a burger and a “Grand Finale” could still save the day.