My watch told me I was dead. I had to pay the doctor $100 to prove I was still breathing.
Part of the 67 Doctor Jokes: The 2025 “Neuralink & Universal Wellness” Edition archive. Historically Verified
ADDED BY: Britney_Spears_Fan
✓ HUMAN VERIFIED CONTENT
✓ HUMAN VERIFIED CONTENT
🔥 Top 10: The Doctor Joke Archive: 1995–2025 Archive
1. 2020 Archive: The Surgeon’s Fee 2
He asked for three boxes of nitrile gloves as a down payment.Part of the 73 Doctor Jokes: The 202... read more »
He asked for three boxes of nitrile gloves as a down payment.Part of the 73 Doctor Jokes: The 202... read more »
2. 2021 Legacy: The Ear Exam
"I hear a muffled voice." "That’s just me talking through two masks and a face shield. Get used t... read more »
"I hear a muffled voice." "That’s just me talking through two masks and a face shield. Get used t... read more »
3. The Skeleton Health
Why some patients are just bone-tired of waiting.Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? He had a ... read more »
Why some patients are just bone-tired of waiting.Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? He had a ... read more »
4. 2021 Classic: The Blood Pressure
It hit 210 when the doctor said, "There might be a new variant coming this winter."Part of the 64... read more »
It hit 210 when the doctor said, "There might be a new variant coming this winter."Part of the 64... read more »
5. 2015 Classic: The Memory
"Doctor, I keep forgetting my cloud backup." "That’s okay, your watch remembers everything you’ve... read more »
"Doctor, I keep forgetting my cloud backup." "That’s okay, your watch remembers everything you’ve... read more »
6. 2023 Classic: The Ozempic Search
I asked my doctor for a weight-loss prescription. He said, "I’ll give you one, but you’ll have to... read more »
I asked my doctor for a weight-loss prescription. He said, "I’ll give you one, but you’ll have to... read more »
7. 2020 Legacy: The Anesthesia
"Count backwards from ten." "Ten... nine... social... distance..."Part of the 73 Doctor Jokes: Th... read more »
"Count backwards from ten." "Ten... nine... social... distance..."Part of the 73 Doctor Jokes: Th... read more »
8. 2016 Classic: The Tele-Surgeon
My surgeon said he could do the consultation via Skype. I asked, "What if the connection drops mi... read more »
My surgeon said he could do the consultation via Skype. I asked, "What if the connection drops mi... read more »
9. 1996 Archive: The Modern Medicine
“Doctor, I’m addicted to the 11 o’clock news.” “Don’t worry, it’s just a 24-hour bug.”Part of the... read more »
“Doctor, I’m addicted to the 11 o’clock news.” “Don’t worry, it’s just a 24-hour bug.”Part of the... read more »
10. 2024 Vintage: The Surgeon’s Fee 2
He asked for my 'Early Adopter' headset as a down payment.Part of the 54 Doctor Jokes: The 2024 “... read more »
He asked for my 'Early Adopter' headset as a down payment.Part of the 54 Doctor Jokes: The 2024 “... read more »
Warning: More Bad Jokes Ahead
Our Comment Archive
[2011-01-22 ARCHIVE_LOG]The_Real_Morpheus: What if I told you... this is the funniest thing online?
[2011-04-29 ARCHIVE_LOG]Java_Applet_User: This joke is more portable than a Java app!
[2005-03-08 ARCHIVE_LOG]QuickTime_Viewer: Buffer... buffer... LAUGH!
[2000-10-11 ARCHIVE_LOG]Patrick_Bateman_Fan: Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? And jokes?
[2014-03-03 ARCHIVE_LOG]Brazil_Terry_G: Bureaucracy is boring, but this joke isn’t.
[2001-07-20 ARCHIVE_LOG]Snatch_Mickey: Do ya like dags? And jokes?
[2012-06-16 ARCHIVE_LOG]Daria_Morg: My goal is to not smile. I failed. This is funny.
[2012-01-04 ARCHIVE_LOG]BackToFuture_M: Great Scott! This joke is from the future!
[2007-01-22 ARCHIVE_LOG]Champ_Kind_Wham: WHAMMY! That’s a good one!
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[ DATA SYNCED WITH 1995-2025 LEGACY DATABASE ]
[ DATA SYNCED WITH 1995-2025 LEGACY DATABASE ]