Why Kristen Stewart? For Twilight and Snow White and the Huntsman—proving that her emotional range is consistent across both vampires and fairy tales (and that range is “exhausted”).… Read More »2012 Classic: Worst Actress
Why the whistle? For the song that resurrected Maroon 5’s career and gave us a chorus that is still playing in a grocery store near… Read More »2011 Archive: The Maroon 5 & Christina Aguilera “Moves Like Jagger”
Why Nicole Kidman? For a appearance that was mostly just a distraction from the main plot’s lack of logic. Part of the 41 Razzie Awards… Read More »2011 Classic: The “Just Go with It” Cameo
Why was the boss staring at his own chin? He was “Video Calling” his wife and forgot that cameras have angles. Part of the 83… Read More »2010 Classic: The iPhone “FaceTime”
Why did Obama change the name? Because “New Dawn” sounded much better than “We’re still there and don’t know when we’re leaving.” Part of the… Read More »2010 Classic: The End of Operation Iraqi Freedom
One, but the bulb is a miracle. Part of the 64 Light Bulb Jokes: 2009 – The Blue Avatar Glow archive. Historically Verified
Causing a high-pitched, metallic whistle to echo through the quiet dining room because the small microphone is pressing directly against the wire frame of a… Read More »2009 Archive: The Hearing Aid Feedback Drone
Why did the salesman cry? He finally traded his flip phone for a touchscreen and missed the “satisfying snap.” Part of the 67 Office Groaners:… Read More »2008 Classic: The Motorola RAZR “Death”
Why “Final Six” by Slayer? To keep the tradition of scaring the people in the front row alive and well. Part of the 37 Grammy… Read More »2008 Classic: Best Metal Performance
We watched the movie. My wife said it’s a documentary of my life—a giant man-child who got lucky. I couldn’t even argue. Part of the… Read More »2007 Legacy: The Knocked Up
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