73 Light Bulb Jokes: 2002 – The Heroic Glow

In 2002, the world was swinging through the city with Spider-Man, solving mysteries with Scooby-Doo, and heading back to the arena with Kelly Clarkson on the very first season of American Idol. It was the year of the flip phone, the “Eminem” movie 8 Mile, and the realization that the 2000s were officially in full swing. The humor of 2002 is action-packed, musical, and just a little bit “skater.”

The 2002 Top 10: Blockbuster Brilliance

1. The Spider-Man: One, but he has to do it upside down while hanging from a web.
2. The American Idol Contestant: One, but they have to sing a power ballad and wait for Simon Cowell to tell them the lighting was “a bit pitchy.”
3. The Nickelback Fan: One, but they’ll spend the whole time wondering “How the hell did we get in this dark room?”
4. The Scooby-Doo Crew: “Zoinks! There’s a ghost in the socket!” (Turns out it was just Old Man Smithers).
5. The Star Wars: Episode II Fan: None. They just use the Force, but it ends up being a 2-hour debate about trade routes and sand.
6. The Eminem (8 Mile) Fan: “Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity, to change this bulb… would you capture it, or just let it slip?”
7. The Avril Lavigne Fan: “Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated? It’s just a light bulb!”
8. The Kelly Clarkson Fan: “A moment like this… some people wait a lifetime for a bulb that works.”
9. The Minority Report Cop: They arrest the bulb before it burns out.
10. The Bourne Identity Agent: One, but they don’t remember who they are or why they have a 60-watt bulb in their hand.

The Full 2002 Archive (Extended List)

11. The Nelly Fan: “It’s getting hot in here… so take out all the high-wattage bulbs!”
12. The Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 Player: One, but they have to find the letters S-O-C-K-E-T while doing a manual.
13. The My Big Fat Greek Wedding Dad: One, but he’ll just spray the old bulb with Windex and say it’s fixed.
14. The Signs (Movie) Fan: They don’t change the bulb; they just leave glasses of water all over the dark house.
15. The Justin Timberlake Fan: “I’m bringing lighty back… those other bulbs don’t know how to act.”
16. The Lilo & Stitch Fan: “Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left in the dark.”
17. The Ice Age Sloth: “Look! A dandelion! And a spare bulb!”
18. The 50 Cent Fan: “In da club… with my light bulb.”
19. The Vice City Player: One, but they have to drive a moped through a mall to get to the hardware store.
20. The Ring (Movie) Fan: You change the bulb, and then the phone rings and tells you it’s going to blow in seven days.
21. The Harry Potter (Chamber of Secrets) Fan: One, but the bulb is possessed by a diary.
22. The Lord of the Rings (Two Towers) Fan: One, but the bulb is “Precious” and they won’t let go of it.
23. The No Doubt Fan: “Hey baby, hey baby, hey! Put the bulb in the socket today!”
24. The Christina Aguilera Fan: “I’m a bulb in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way.”
25. The Spider-Man Villain: “The power of the sun… in the palm of my hand!”
26. The Skater Boy: “He was a punk, she did ballet… what more can I say? The light went out.”
27. The Blue’s Clues Fan: “We just got a light bulb! I wonder where it goes?”
28. The Kim Possible Fan: “What’s the sitch? The bulb is out!”
29. The Norah Jones Fan: “I don’t know why I didn’t change you… I don’t know why.”
30. The Panic! At The Disco Fan: “I chime in with a ‘Haven’t you people ever heard of… changing a goddamn bulb?!'”
31. The Gossip Girl (Early Readers): “Spotted: S in the dark. Looks like her 100-watt just lost its spark. XOXO.”
32. The Low-Rise Jeans Wearer: One, but they have to be careful not to bend over too far on the ladder.
33. The T-Mobile Sidekick User: One, but they have to flip the screen open to read the instructions.
34. The Scientist: “We’ve found water on Mars, but we’re still using glass filaments?”
35. The Librarian: “The dark is the most popular chapter in the house right now.”
36. The Gym Teacher: “If you can’t reach it, climb the rope! It’s good for your grip!”
37. The Chef: “I’ll change it, but only if it’s flambéed.”
38. The Optimist: “Now I can finally see if my glow-in-the-dark stickers actually work!”
39. The Pessimist: “The darkness is just a preview of the end of the universe.”
40. The Pro-Wrestler: One, but they have to hit the bulb with a “619” off the ropes.
41. The Detective: “The bulb was clearly unscrewed… this was an inside job.”
42. The Tourist: “Is this the same bulb they use in the movies?”
43. The Reality Producer: “Can we get the bulb to cry during the interview?”
44. The Bodybuilder: “I’m not just changing the bulb, I’m ‘sculpting’ the light.”
45. The Sailor: “A dark room is just a land-locked shipwreck.”
46. The Poet: “The glass is a tear of fire, now cold and hollow.”
47. The Bus Driver: “No standing in the dark! Move behind the white line!”
48. The Ghost: “I liked the old one. It flickered just like my soul.”
49. The 2002 Legend: One, but they do it while wearing a trucker hat and a Von Dutch shirt.
50. The Starbucks Addict: “Can I get a double-shot espresso bulb? Grande size.”
51. The Kingdom Hearts Player: “My friends are my power! …And this 60-watt bulb!”
52. The Treasure Planet Fan: “One, but the bulb is a cyborg.”
53. The Austin Powers Fan: “Gold-bulb! I love goooooooold-light!”
54. The Jackass Stuntman: “I’m Johnny Knoxville, and this is the Light Bulb Ladder Drop!”
55. The Red Hot Chili Peppers Fan: “By the way… I tried to change the bulb today.”
56. The Pink Fan: “Get the party started! …Wait, I can’t see the party.”
57. The Maroon 5 Fan: “This love has taken its toll on the filament.”
58. The Coldplay Fan: “And it was all… yellow. (Except now it’s dark).”
59. The Bend It Like Beckham Fan: One, but they have to kick the bulb into the socket.
60. The Mr. Deeds Fan: One, but they do it very clumsily while being super nice.
61. The xXx Action Star: One, but they do it while snowboarding off a skyscraper.
62. The Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron Fan: They don’t change the bulb; they just run free in the dark.
63. The 8 Mile Crowd: “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, bulb is heavy.”
64. The “Lose Yourself” Fan: “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to screw it in.”
65. The Signs Fan: “Is it a crop circle? No, it’s just the shadow of the burnt-out bulb.”
66. The Ketchup Song Dancer: One to screw, and everyone else does the “Aserejé” dance.
67. The SimCity 4 Player: One, but the power lines aren’t connected to that zone yet.
68. The Warcraft III Player: “Work work! I go screw in bulb now!”
69. The Emo Kid: “The bulb isn’t out, it’s just expressing its inner sadness.”
70. The Yu-Gi-Oh Player: “I summon the Blue-Eyes White Light Bulb!”
71. The American Idol Judge: “It’s a ‘no’ from me, dawg. The bulb has no charisma.”
72. The Minority Report Fan: “Why did you screw it in? I was going to do it tomorrow!”
73. The 2002 Icon: One, but they do it while listening to A Walk to Remember soundtrack on a Discman.