63 Observational One-Liners: The 2021 Hybrid Reality

Step into 2021 – the year of the Squid Game global obsession, the rise (and confusion) of NFTs, and the moment Bernie Sanders and his mittens became the biggest fashion icons on the planet. It was the era of the “Bones or No Bones” pug and the summer when we all realized that Free Guy was basically our lives inside a simulation. Here is the observational archive of 2021.

The 2021 Top 10: Golden Classics

1. The Squid Game Panic: I just watched a show where people play children’s games for money and die. Now I can’t hear “Green Light, Red Light” without diving behind my sofa and checking my bank balance.
2. The Bernie Mittens: The most powerful man at the Inauguration wasn’t the President; it was a guy in a brown parka and knitted mittens sitting in a folding chair. 2021 is the year of “Grumpy Grandad Chic.”
3. The NFT Confusion: Someone just explained to me that I can “own” a JPEG of a bored ape for $200,000, but anyone can still right-click and save it. 2021 is the year we officially decided that reality is optional.
4. The Spider-Man: No Way Home Secret: We all spent six months pretending we didn’t know the other two guys were in the movie, and then we all cheered in the theater like we’d just discovered fire.
5. The “Bones or No Bones” Pug: My entire daily productivity is currently dependent on whether a 13-year-old pug named Noodle has “bones” or “no bones.” If he flops, I’m not leaving my bed.
6. The Friends Reunion: I watched six people in their 50s sit on a couch and talk about the 90s, and I’ve never felt more nostalgic for a time when I didn’t have to worry about “variants.”
7. The Free Guy Reality: Ryan Reynolds is an NPC who realizes he’s in a video game. I’m an office worker who realizes he’s in a 9-to-5 loop. It’s the same movie, but his has more explosions.
8. The Dune “Part One” Sand: I spent three hours watching Timothée Chalamet walk in the sand and look intense. It was beautiful, but I’m still waiting for the giant worms to actually do something.
9. The “Drivers License” Drama: A 17-year-old just made me feel deeply emotional about a suburban street and a breakup I never had. 2021 is the year Olivia Rodrigo took over my car radio.
10. The Suez Canal Jam: A giant boat got stuck in a ditch and stopped the entire global economy. It’s the perfect 2021 metaphor for my life: big, stuck, and blocking everyone’s progress.

The Full 2021 Archive (Extended List)

11. The “Industry Baby” Video: Lil Nas X is in a pink prison and he’s the king of 2021 marketing.
12. The Ted Lasso Kindness: A show about a guy who is nice to everyone. 2021 is the year we realized that “wholesome” is the new “gritty.”
13. The “Stay” Kid LAROI & Bieber: This song has played 4,000 times today. I’m currently “staying” in my car just to finish the chorus.
14. The WandaVision Sitcom: I spent two months trying to figure out why a superhero was living in a black-and-white 50s show. 2021 is the year Marvel got “weird.”
15. The “Good 4 U” Punk-Pop: 2021 is the year the early 2000s came back, and I’m 100% ready to wear a tie over a t-shirt again.
16. The Black Widow “Delayed” Release: We finally saw the movie! Two years later. Natasha is still cool, but I’ve already aged four years since the first trailer.
17. The “Bad Habits” Ed Sheeran: Ed is a vampire now. 2021 is a very “neon-undead” year for pop music.
18. The Cruella Fashion: Emma Stone in black and white hair. 2021 is the year of the “Villainess Origin Story.”
19. The “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)”: Lil Nas X went to hell on a pole and the internet spent a month arguing about it.
20. The Shang-Chi Rings: A superhero movie with a bus fight and a dragon. 2021 is the year Marvel went “Martial Arts.”
21. The “Butter” BTS: It’s smooth, it’s catchy, and it’s the only thing playing at the grocery store.
22. The Mare of Easttown Rolling: Kate Winslet eating a hoagie and solving crimes in a gray sweatshirt. My 2021 fashion icon.
23. The “Kiss Me More”: Doja Cat and SZA. The official song of every 2021 summer sunset.
24. The Suicide Squad (The Good One): James Gunn gave us a shark with a voice and a guy who throws polka dots. 2021 is the year DC found its sense of humor.
25. The “Peaches” Bieber: I get my peaches out in Georgia, and I get my 2021 vibes from this mellow beat.
26. The White Lotus Anxiety: A show about rich people being terrible on vacation. 2021 is the year we learned to fear the “theme song.”
27. The “Happier Than Ever” Scream: Billie Eilish just released the ultimate 2021 “venting” anthem.
28. The Matrix Resurrections Meta: A movie about a movie about a movie. My brain is officially stuck in a loop.
29. The “Save Your Tears” Remix: Ariana and the Weeknd. The most powerful duo of the 2020s continues their reign.
30. The Luca Pasta Dream: I want to go to Italy, be a sea monster, and eat pesto. 2021 is the year of “Italian Summer Nostalgia.”
31. The “Levitating” (Still): Dua Lipa is the queen of the long-running hit. I’ve been levitating since 2020.
32. The No Time to Die Ending: James Bond did the one thing he was never supposed to do. I’m still in shock.
33. The “Heat Waves” (Still): Glass Animals just broke the record for the slowest climb to the top. 2021 is the year of “Patience.”
34. The Squid Game “Honeycomb” Challenge: I just broke my cookie and now I’m dead (metaphorically).
35. The “Easy on Me” Adele: She’s back! I’m currently sitting in an empty house with the wind blowing my curtains, feeling things.
36. The Red Notice Budget: Three of the biggest stars in the world and a lot of CGI. 2021 is the year of the “Blockbuster Streaming” movie.
37. The “Cold Heart” PNAU Remix: Elton John and Dua Lipa. 2021 is the year the 70s and the 2020s had a baby.
38. The Ghostbusters: Afterlife: Nostalgia, proton packs, and Paul Rudd. It’s exactly what I needed in 2021.
39. The “Leave the Door Open”: Silk Sonic is here to make us all feel like it’s 1974. Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak are the smoothest duo in history.
40. The House of Gucci Accent: Lady Gaga as an Italian socialite. “Father, Son, and House of Gucci.” 2021 is a “camp” year.
41. The “Fancy Like” Applebee’s: 2021 is the year a song about a date night at a chain restaurant became a global phenomenon.
42. The Encanto “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”: My kids are singing about a guy we aren’t supposed to talk about, but we’ve been talking about him for 48 hours straight.
43. The “Need to Know” Doja: She’s in space, she’s an alien, and she’s the most creative person in 2021 pop.
44. The Last Duel “He Said/She Said”: Ben Affleck’s blonde hair is the real villain of this movie.
45. The “Shivers” Ed Sheeran: More catchy Ed Sheeran. 2021 is the year he became a dance-pop machine.
46. The Succession “L vs OG”: Kendall Roy is rapping again. 2021 is the year of “Secondhand Embarrassment as High Art.”
47. The “Way 2 Sexy”: Drake, Future, and Young Thug. 2021 is the year we realized that being “too sexy” is a burden.
48. The Eternals Length: I just met ten new superheroes and I’ve already forgotten seven of their names.
49. The “Bad Habits” (Still): Ed Sheeran is still a vampire. I’m still tired.
50. The French Dispatch Aesthetic: It’s the most “Wes Anderson” Wes Anderson movie ever made. It’s 100% symmetrical.
51. The “Essence” Wizkid: The official song of the 2021 summer. “Tems” is the voice of the year.
52. The Godzilla vs. Kong Winner: We finally found out who would win. (Spoilers: the CGI artists won).
53. The “Beggin'” Måneskin: Italian rock is back! 2021 is a very “glam-rock” year.
54. The Don’t Look Up Metaphor: A movie about a comet that is actually about… everything. 2021 is a very “stressed out” year.
55. The “Pepas” Farruko: The official song of every 2021 party that had a strobe light.
56. The 2021 iPhone 13: It looks like the iPhone 12, but the “notch” is slightly smaller. 2021 is the year of the “Incremental Update.”
57. The 2021 Metaverse Launch: Facebook is now “Meta.” Mark Zuckerberg wants us to live in a 3D world with no legs.
58. The 2021 Dogecoin Hype: I just bought a currency based on a dog meme because Elon Musk tweeted a rocket emoji. I am a financial genius.
59. The 2021 Wordle Start (Early): I’m sharing green and yellow squares on Twitter. People think I’m a bot. I’m just trying to find a 5-letter word for “Tired.”
60. The 2021 Clickbait: “You won’t believe what happened next!” (It was just someone opening a box).
61. The 2021 Zoom “Cat Filter” Lawyer: “I’m here live, I’m not a cat.” The peak of 2021 professional excellence.
62. The 2021 Peloton “Big” Moment: I’ll never look at a stationary bike or Mr. Big the same way again.
63. The 2021 Optimism: We’ve got the vaccines, Spider-Man is home, and the Metaverse is coming. Surely 2022 will be the most peaceful, normal year in history.