47 Travel Jokes: The 2014 “Ice Bucket & Pharrell’s Hat” Edition

In 2014, travel became “on-demand.” Uber and Lyft started winning the war against taxis, Airbnb changed its logo (to something everyone mocked), and we all realized that a “Selfie Stick” was the ultimate weapon of mass annoyance at every major monument.

The 2014 Top 10: The “Viral & Vocal” Classics

1. The Ice Bucket Challenge: Why did the hotel guest get kicked out of the pool area? Because he dumped a bucket of ice on his head and shouted “I nominate the concierge!”, causing a minor flood in the lobby.
2. The Flappy Bird Withdrawal: Why was the traveler selling his iPhone 5S for $5,000 at the gate? Because it still had the original Flappy Bird installed, and the buyer was desperate to hit pipe number 10.
3. The Pharrell Hat: Why did the man have to check his “carry-on” hat? Because it was the 2014 Pharrell Grammy hat, and it was so tall it required its own seat and an FAA clearance.
4. The Kimye Wedding: Why did everyone go to Florence in May? Because Kim and Kanye got married, and every tourist wanted to see the giant wall of white roses (or just find a bathroom that wasn’t “art”).
5. The World Cup in Brazil: Why was the German tourist so happy? Because his team won 7-1, and he spent the rest of his vacation apologizing to every Brazilian he met.
6. The Uber Everywhere: Why was the traveler standing on a random corner in London? Because he’d deleted his taxi numbers and was waiting for a “prius with water bottles” to find him via GPS.
7. The Guardians of the Galaxy: Why was the traveler talking to a potted plant? Because Groot made him believe that “I am Groot” was a valid international language for ordering a beer.
8. The GoPro Hero 4: Why did the tourist look like a cyborg? Because he had a GoPro strapped to his chest, his head, and a selfie stick, just to film a 4K video of him eating a sandwich.
9. The Apple Watch Reveal: Why was the man staring at his bare wrist? Because Apple announced the watch, and he was already practicing “the flick of the wrist” for a device he couldn’t buy for another year.
10. The Frozen “Still” Playing: Why was the flight to Orlando so “chilly”? Because Frozen was still the only movie playing on the seatback screens, and the kids were on their 400th rendition of “Let It Go.”

The Full 2014 Travel Jokes Archive

11. The iPhone 6 Plus: Why was the traveler’s phone bent? Because he put the new “Plus” size in his back pocket and sat down on a 12-hour flight to Tokyo.
12. The Interstellar Movie: Why was the dad crying in the terminal? Because he watched the movie and realized that a 1-hour delay in Newark is actually 7 years on Miller’s Planet.
13. The Taylor Swift “1989”: Why was the traveler “Shaking It Off”? Because the airline lost his luggage, but Taylor told him to just dance through the pain.
14. The Tinder “Passport”: Why was the guy “matching” with people in Sweden while in his bed in Ohio? Because Tinder launched “Passport,” and he was “virtual traveling” to avoid real dates.
15. The Maleficent: Why was the traveler wearing black horns? Because Angelina Jolie made “evil” look like a high-fashion travel choice.
16. The Facebook Messenger: Why was the traveler so mad? Because Facebook forced him to download a separate app just to tell his mom he’d landed safely.
17. The John Wick: Why was the traveler so nice to the hotel dog? Because he saw the movie and realized that “checking out” of the Continental has very different meanings.
18. The Amazon Echo: Why was the man talking to a black cylinder? Because Alexa arrived, and he was asking her to “book a flight” while she just played “Despacito” (a few years early).
19. The Birdman Movie: Why was the actor walking through Times Square in his underwear? Because he was “method acting,” but the tourists just thought it was a typical Tuesday in NYC.
20. The Sony Hack: Why was the traveler’s movie choice so limited? Because Sony got hacked and everyone was too afraid to release a comedy about North Korea.
21. The Sia “Chandelier”: Why was the girl swinging from the hotel lobby lights? Because she wanted to “live like tomorrow doesn’t exist,” but the security guard disagreed.
22. The Grand Budapest Hotel: Why did the traveler want to be a “Lobby Boy”? Because Wes Anderson made “symmetrical hotels” and “purple uniforms” the ultimate travel goal.
23. The 10-Hour Walking in NYC: Why was the woman so tired? Because she was recreating the viral video of walking through Manhattan, but she was just looking for a Starbucks.
24. The Rosetta Comet Landing: Why was the scientist crying? Because we landed a probe on a comet, and the traveler still couldn’t get a Wi-Fi signal in the airport bathroom.
25. The Hozier “Take Me to Church”: Why was the backpacker so dramatic? Because he spent his whole trip to Ireland listening to the song and staring at old ruins.
26. The Ebola Scare: Why was the traveler carrying a gallon of hand sanitizer? Because 2014 was the year we all treated a “sneeze in 12B” like a biological catastrophe.
27. The Lego Movie: Why was the traveler singing “Everything is Awesome”? Because his flight was on time, the snacks were free, and he was living in a brick-based fantasy.
28. The Meghan Trainor: Why was the traveler “All About That Bass”? Because he was carrying a giant double bass as “carry-on” and refusing to pay the oversize fee.
29. The WhatsApp Acquisition: Why was the traveler worried? Because Facebook bought WhatsApp for $19 billion and he was afraid his “free” messages would now cost a “Like.”
30. The Mockingjay Part 1: Why was the traveler whistling four notes? Because he wanted to start a revolution at the baggage claim.
31. The Fitbit Craze: Why was the woman walking in circles at the gate? Because she needed 50 more steps to “beat her friend” in Ohio.
32. The Boyhood Movie: Why did the 2-hour flight feel like 12 years? Because the movie took that long to film, and the traveler felt like he’d aged just watching it.
33. The Sam Smith: Why was the traveler “Staying with Me”? Because the airline overbooked the flight and he was now sharing a hotel room with a stranger named Dave.
34. The Oculus Rift DK2: Why was the man wearing a box on his face? Because he was “virtually” in Hawaii while actually sitting in a middle seat to Slough.
35. The Gone Girl: Why was the husband so nervous at the resort? Because he watched the movie and now he didn’t trust his wife to “go for a walk” on the beach.
36. The Ed Sheeran “Thinking Out Loud”: Why were all the couples dancing in the aisle? Because Ed made “70-year-old love” a 2014 requirement.
37. The Selfie Stick Ban: Why was the tourist angry? Because Disney and museums started banning his “extension of his arm,” and he actually had to ask a human to take a photo.
38. The Kim Kardashian “Break the Internet”: Why was the airport Wi-Fi so slow? Because everyone was trying to load that magazine cover at the same time.
39. The Dumb and Dumber To: Why did the traveler look so confused? Because he’d waited 20 years for a sequel and realized some things are better left in 1994.
40. The Weird Al “Word Crimes”: Why was the traveler correcting the “Departure” sign? Because Al told him that “grammar matters,” even at 3 AM.
41. The Destiny Game: Why was the traveler a “Guardian”? Because he spent his whole vacation “looting caves” on his laptop instead of seeing the sun.
42. The Leftovers: Why did the traveler think 2% of the passengers disappeared? Because they all got upgraded to First Class and he was still in 34E.
43. The Iggy Azalea: Why was the traveler “Fancy”? Because he bought a $5 water and a $12 sandwich and felt like a billionaire.
44. The Fault in Our Stars: Why were all the teens crying in Amsterdam? Because they found “The Bench” and realized that “Okay” is the saddest word in the English language.
45. The Slender Man: Why was the backpacker scared of the woods? Because the internet told him a tall guy in a suit was waiting for him behind a pine tree.
46. The Broad City: Why were the two girls screaming in NYC? Because they were “Yas Queen”-ing their way to a $1 pizza slice.
47. The 4K Video: Why was the traveler’s phone memory full? Because he took a 30-second 4K video of a waterfall and it used 4 gigabytes of storage.