41 Oscars Jokes: The 2020 “Parasite, Joker’s Speech & Eminem’s Surprise” Edition

In 2020, the 92nd Academy Awards broke the “one-inch barrier” of subtitles and made history. It was the year a South Korean thriller climbed the stairs to the top prize, Joaquin Phoenix reminded us all that cows have feelings too, and Eminem showed up two decades late to collect his standing ovation, proving that if you wait long enough, Hollywood will eventually find a mic for you.

The 2020 Red Carpet Top 10: “Peaches & Protests”

1. The “Parasite” Takeover: Why did Bong Joon-ho win so much? Because the Academy realized that “subtitles” aren’t a scary monster, and that a movie about a basement is actually a lot more exciting than a movie about a billionaire in a cape.
2. Bong Joon-ho’s Drinking Plans: Why did he want to “drink until next morning”? Because when you win four Oscars in one night, water is no longer a beverage option—you’ve earned the right to have a hangover that lasts until 2021.
3. Joaquin Phoenix’s Vegan Speech: Why did he talk about cow milk? Because he wanted to make sure that while everyone was celebrating their gold statues, they were also feeling slightly guilty about their cereal choices.
4. The Eminem Surprise: Why did Eminem perform 17 years after winning for 8 Mile? To prove that he’s the only person in the world who can be “fashionably late” by nearly two decades and still get a standing ovation from Martin Scorsese.
5. The “Cats” Parody: Why did James Corden and Rebel Wilson dress as cats? To apologize to the world for the movie Cats by proving that they, too, were confused about why they looked like digital nightmares.
6. Brad Pitt’s “Finally” Speech: Why did he win Best Supporting Actor? Because the Academy decided that being the coolest man on the planet and leaning against a car for two hours in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is a legitimate athletic achievement.
7. Laura Dern’s Birthday Present: Why was her win so sweet? Because she won her first Oscar on her birthday, proving that her parents (Bruce Dern and Diane Ladd) really should have just given her a gift card years ago.
8. The No-Host (Again): Why was there no host for the second year? Because the Academy realized that the only thing faster than a host-less show is a show where the only person talking is a South Korean translator.
9. The Janelle Monáe Opener: Why was it so intense? Because she wanted to make sure that everyone in the building was awake before the three-hour marathon of “Thanking my agent” began.
10. The “Toy Story 4” Win: Why did it win again? Because the Academy is legally obligated to give Pixar a trophy if there is a sentient spork involved in the plot.

The Full 2020 Oscars Jokes Archive

11. The “Parasite” Best Picture Shock: Why was the room so happy? Because for the first time in years, the “Cool Kid” at the party actually won the main prize.
12. The Best Director Win: Why did Bong Joon-ho quote Scorsese? Because he’s the only man who can beat Martin Scorsese and still make Marty feel like he’s the real winner.
13. The Best Original Screenplay: Why did Parasite win? For proving that a peach can be a more effective weapon than a semi-automatic rifle.
14. The Best Adapted Screenplay: Why did Jojo Rabbit win? Because Taika Waititi proved that you can make a movie about a kid and his imaginary Hitler and still make it the most heartwarming story of the year.
15. The Best Costume Design: Why did Little Women win? Because Greta Gerwig proved that 19th-century wool and scarves are the only things that can survive a New England winter and look “Oscar-ready.”
16. The Best Makeup Win: Why did Bombshell win? Because turning Charlize Theron into Megyn Kelly is a feat of engineering that required more plastic than a toy factory.
17. The Best Art Direction: Why did Once Upon a Time in Hollywood win? Because they turned 2019 Los Angeles back into 1969 Los Angeles, which mostly just involved hiding all the Starbucks signs.
18. The Best Cinematography: Why did Roger Deakins win for 1917? For making a two-hour movie look like one long, very stressful walk through a muddy trench.
19. The Best Sound Mixing: Why did 1917 win? Because the sound of a plane crashing into a barn needs to be perfectly balanced with the sound of a man panting.
20. The Best Sound Editing: Why did Ford v Ferrari win? Because the sound of a 1966 GT40 engine is the only thing that makes a middle-aged man’s heart beat faster.
21. The Best Visual Effects: Why did 1917 win? Because making a sunny day look like a war zone is the ultimate digital trick.
22. The Best Original Score: Why did Hildur Guðnadóttir win for Joker? Because she proved that a cello can sound like a slow-motion descent into madness.
23. The Best Original Song: Why did Elton John win? Because even at 72, he’s still standing, still winning, and still wearing the best glasses in the room.
24. The Best International Feature: Why did Parasite win this and Best Picture? To show that it was so good, it had to win twice just to make sure the message got across.
25. The Best Film Editing: Why did Ford v Ferrari win? Because cutting a race car at 200 mph is the only way to keep the audience from blinking.
26. The Best Documentary Feature: Why did American Factory win? Because the Obamas’ first film proved that the struggle between Ohio workers and Chinese billionaires is the most dramatic thing on Netflix.
27. The Best Animated Feature: Why did Klaus lose? Because the Academy is still afraid of a Santa Claus who looks like he’s actually been to a gym.
28. The Honorary Award for David Lynch: Why? Because after 40 years of making us wonder what a blue velvet ear means, they finally gave him a statue to hold while he’s being weird.
29. The Best Live Action Short: Why did The Neighbors’ Window win? To remind us that spying on your neighbors is only okay if you make a meaningful short film about it afterward.
30. The Best Animated Short: Why did Hair Love win? Because a father learning to do his daughter’s hair is the most “Super-Hero” thing to happen in 2020.
31. The Best Documentary Short: Why did Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone win? For having the most intense and inspiring title in the history of the 40-minute category.
32. The Renée Zellweger Win: Why did she win for Judy? Because playing a legend who is struggling is the official “Comeback Route” for every major actress.
33. The Tom Hanks “Museum” Announcement: Why did he talk about the Academy Museum? To remind us that they’ve been building it since the silent era and it might actually open before the next century.
34. The Maya Rudolph & Kristen Wiig Bit: Why were they so funny? To remind the Academy that if they ever want a host again, they have two perfect ones standing right there.
35. The Best Supporting Actress Race: Why did Scarlett Johansson lose twice? Because 2020 was the year of “Marriage Stories” and “JoJo Rabbits,” but only one Laura Dern.
36. The Billie Eilish “In Memoriam”: Why did she sing “Yesterday”? To make sure that everyone in the room felt exactly 100 years old while a 18-year-old sang to them.
37. The Natalie Portman Cape: Why were there names embroidered on it? To remind the Academy that they “forgot” to nominate any female directors—again.
38. The Governor’s Ball: Why was the menu 70% plant-based? Because after Joaquin’s speech, nobody wanted to be caught eating a burger in front of the “Joker.”
39. The Cynthia Erivo Performance: Why was she the only acting nominee of color? To show that #OscarsSoWhite was still a very real sequel that nobody wanted to see.
40. The Shia LaBeouf Appearance: Why was he there with Zack Gottsagen? To show that the “Peanut Butter Falcon” duo is the most wholesome friendship in Hollywood.
41. The 2020 Final Oscars Vibe: Why was it a “Classic” year? Because it was the night the world of cinema became a little smaller and more inclusive, making the 2020 Oscars the last great party before we all had to watch movies from our couches for a year.