37 Halloween Jokes: The 1998 “Armageddon & Furby” Edition

In 1998, Halloween was marked by the growing Y2K panic, but before computers were to shut down, we had to endure something far worse: an invasion of electronic pets and the ubiquitous anthem “MMMBop.” It was a year when asteroids were either exploding in movie theaters or everyone was crying aboard a certain cruise liner, and the height of technology was colorful, translucent plastic and a phone with the game “Snake.”

The 1998 Top 10: “Saving Private Ryan & Giga Pets”

1. Armageddon vs. Deep Impact: Why did every Halloween party have two different asteroids? Because in 1998, Hollywood decided that if we were going to die, we needed to choose between Bruce Willis blowing it up or Elijah Wood crying about it.
2. The Furby Invasion: What was the scariest sound in 1998? A Furby waking up in a dark closet at 2 AM and whispering “Doo-dah” in a voice that sounded like a gremlin with a cold.
3. The iMac G3: Why did the “modern” ghost look so colorful? Because Apple released the Bondi Blue iMac, and suddenly being “transparent” and “plastic” was the height of fashion.
4. Saving Private Ryan: Why were the trick-or-treaters so exhausted? Because after the opening scene of the movie, just walking across the lawn felt like a high-stakes military operation.
5. Titanic (The Aftermath): Why were there still “Jack and Rose” costumes everywhere? Because the VHS just came out, and everyone wanted to recreate the “I’m flying!” moment on their porch railings.
6. Google (The Launch): How did the 1998 monsters find their victims? They didn’t “Google” them yet; they were still wandering around Yahoo! looking for a category titled “People with Large Candy Bowls.”
7. The Big Lebowski: Why did the vampire show up in a bathrobe with a carton of cream? Because “The Dude” abides, even during a full moon.
8. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: Why were kids standing in front of pumpkins playing plastic flutes? Because they were trying to warp to the next house or at least make it rain Skittles.
9. Britney Spears: Why did every schoolgirl ghost have pigtails and pom-poms? Because “…Baby One More Time” just dropped, and the scariest thing was how catchy that chorus was.
10. Blade: Why did the 1998 vampires wear sunglasses at night? Because Wesley Snipes made “leather trench coats and tactical vests” the official uniform for the undead.

The Full 1998 Halloween Jokes Archive

11. Dawson’s Creek: Why was the werewolf crying by the creek? Because he was having a 45-minute philosophical conversation about his feelings and his vocabulary was too large for a monster.
12. The Parent Trap: Why were there so many pairs of identical twins? Because Lindsay Lohan convinced every kid that their long-lost sibling was just one summer camp (or one mask) away.
13. Windows 98: Why did the haunted house crash? Because it tried to load too many “Plug and Play” skeletons at once and showed everyone the Blue Screen of Death.
14. Rush Hour: Why were the ninja costumes so loud? Because everyone was trying to do Chris Tucker impressions while doing Jackie Chan stunts off the porch.
15. Sex and the City: Why were the witches drinking Cosmopolitans? Because Carrie Bradshaw made “finding Mr. Big” more important than finding the perfect potion.
16. Half-Life: Why was the scientist costume carrying a crowbar? Because Gordon Freeman taught us that aliens from another dimension can be defeated with basic hardware store tools.
17. The Clinton/Lewinsky Scandal: What was the most “adult” costume of ’98? A blue dress and a cigar, which was the only thing people talked about more than the Y2K bug.
18. Mulan: Why were the girls cutting their hair with swords? Because they wanted to “bring honor to us all” (and get the full-size Snickers).
19. The Euro (Announcement): Why were the European monsters so confused? Because they were trying to figure out how many “Drachmas” or “Francs” a bag of candy would be worth in 1999.
20. Star Wars: Episode I (The Hype): Why were people camping out in front of houses in October? Not for candy, but for the first trailer of The Phantom Menace.
21. The Wedding Singer: Why did the ghost have a mullet and an acoustic guitar? Because Adam Sandler made the 80s look scarier in 1998 than they actually were in 1985.
22. The Truman Show: Why was the trick-or-treater looking at the sky? Because he was convinced his whole neighborhood was a giant TV set and the moon was just a studio light.
23. Harry Potter (US Launch): Why did the kids with glasses look so smug? Because The Sorcerer’s Stone just hit the US, and they finally had a reason to carry a stick and look “magical.”
24. A Bug’s Life vs. Antz: Why was the garden full of tiny insects? Because 1998 was the year you had to choose if your ant costume was “Disney-cute” or “Dreamworks-neurotic.”
25. The MP3 Player (Rio PMP300): Why was the skeleton so happy? Because he had 32MB of memory, which was just enough to hold 8 very compressed songs by Chumbawamba.
26. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: Why did the guy in the bucket hat see bats everywhere? Because it was “Bat Country,” and the candy was starting to kick in.
27. The Nokia 5110: Why were the monsters so distracted? Because they were trying to beat their high score on Snake while waiting for the doorbell to ring.
28. Godzilla (1998): Why was the giant lizard costume so underwhelming? Because just like the movie, it was mostly just a lot of rain and a soundtrack featuring Jamiroquai.
29. The Powerpuff Girls: Why were there groups of three girls everywhere? Because Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup were the only superheroes that mattered in ’98.
30. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 3): Why were the vampires so afraid of high school? Because Sarah Michelle Gellar made “Stake Day” a weekly tradition.
31. The Giga Pet: Why was the kid crying? Because he accidentally “reset” his digital dinosaur while reaching for a handful of candy corn.
32. There’s Something About Mary: Why did the prom queen have such “strong” hair gel? No one wanted to ask, and everyone was too afraid to laugh.
33. Pokémon (US TV Debut): Why was every yellow costume a “Pikachu”? Because the craze just started, and “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” applied to both monsters and candy.
34. Small Soldiers: Why were the toy soldiers moving? Because we spent the whole year thinking our action figures were going to start a war in our bedrooms.
35. The New Beetle: Why did the driveway look so “bubbly”? Because Volkswagen brought back the Bug, and it was the only car that looked like it was made of candy.
36. Practical Magic: Why were the aunts so “witchy”? Because Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman made midnight margaritas look like a legitimate Halloween ritual.
37. The Final 1998 Vibe: Why was it a “Classic” night? Because it was the last year you could enjoy Halloween without a cell phone camera recording your every move—unless you count the grainy footage from a Sony Handycam.