36 Politicians Jokes: The 2017 “Inaugurations & Covfefe” Edition

In 2017, the line between Washington D.C. and a 24-hour reality TV show finally evaporated. It was the year of the Trump Inauguration, the Women’s March, the total Solar Eclipse, and the moment we all realized that “Twitter Diplomacy” was here to stay.

The 2017 Top 10: “Tweets & Tides”

1. The Inauguration & “Alternative Facts”: Why was the crowd size the first debate of 2017? Because Sean Spicer introduced us to the concept of “Alternative Facts,” proving that in 2017, the truth was whatever you could see through a very specific camera angle.
2. Covfefe: What does “Covfefe” actually mean? Nobody knows, but for six hours in May, it was the most important word in the English language, proving that a President’s late-night typo is more powerful than a 500-page policy white paper.
3. The Women’s March: Why did millions of people wear pink hats in January? To prove that the “Resistance” had a very organized knitting circle and that the first day of a presidency is the best time to start planning the next election.
4. Emmanuel Macron’s Victory: Why was the French election so “En Marche!”? Because Macron proved that if you’re young, charming, and create your own party from scratch, you can defeat the old guard—and marry your high school teacher while you’re at it.
5. The #MeToo Movement: Why did Harvey Weinstein’s downfall change everything? Because a hashtag turned into a global reckoning, proving that the “casting couch” era was officially over and that the internet finally had the receipts.
6. The Total Solar Eclipse: Why was the U.S. so united in August? Because for two minutes, everyone stopped arguing about politics to stare at the sun—and Donald Trump proved he was the only man “brave” enough to do it without safety glasses.
7. Fidget Spinners: Why did politicians hate fidget spinners? Because they were jealous of a small piece of plastic that could hold a teenager’s attention longer than a debate on the debt ceiling.
8. The Great American Tax Cut: Why did the GOP pass the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act? To prove that “Trickle-Down Economics” is still the favorite fairy tale of the Republican Party—even if the only thing trickling down was corporate stock buybacks.
9. The Fyre Festival: Why was a failed luxury concert a political metaphor? Because it featured “Influencers” selling a dream that ended in rain-soaked tents and cheese sandwiches—a perfect description of most campaign promises.
10. The Resignation of Robert Mugabe: Why did Zimbabwe celebrate in November? Because after 37 years, the man who said “only God” could remove him realized that a military house arrest is a very persuasive divine intervention.

The Full 2017 Politicians Jokes Archive

11. The Launch of the Nintendo Switch: Why was it a hit? Because it allowed people to take their games anywhere—finally giving voters something to do while waiting for their representatives to return their calls.
12. The “Travel Ban” Chaos: Why were lawyers at the airports? Because the executive order moved faster than the legal system, turning terminal baggage claims into the new Supreme Court.
13. Theresa May’s Snap Election: Why was it a “Strong and Stable” disaster? Because she called an election to increase her majority and ended up losing it, proving that “Snap” is the sound your political career makes when you gamble with the public.
14. The “Mooch” (Anthony Scaramucci): Why did he only last 11 days? Because he burned brighter than a supernova and talked faster than a New York minute, proving that in 2017, fame was measured in “Scaramuccis” (units of 1.5 weeks).
15. The Charlottesville Protest: Why was “Both Sides” the wrong answer? Because when one side is wearing Tiki torches and chanting slogans from the 1930s, “neutrality” is just another way of being very, very wrong.
16. The Death of Hugh Hefner: Why was it the end of an era? Because the man who built an empire on pajamas and silk robes was finally out-dressed by a President who spent most of his time in golf shirts.
17. The Bitcoin Surge (to $20k): Why were the “Crypto Bros” so loud? Because they believed that digital coins were the future, while the rest of us were still trying to figure out how to pay for a sandwich with a credit card that didn’t decline.
18. The Saudi “Anti-Corruption” Purge: Why were princes staying at the Ritz-Carlton? Because Mohammad bin Salman turned a 5-star hotel into the world’s most luxurious prison, proving that “reforming” a country is much easier if you have everyone’s bank passwords.
19. The Launch of Fortnite: Why did it matter? Because it was the first time “Dancing like a fool” (the Emotes) became a more important social skill than actual conversation.
20. The Hurrican Maria (Puerto Rico): Why was the “Paper Towel Toss” so controversial? Because when a territory is in ruins, “basketball skills” aren’t a substitute for a functioning power grid.
21. The Catalonia Independence Referendum: Why was Barcelona so tense? Because they voted to leave Spain, and Madrid responded by saying “No, you didn’t,” proving that in 2017, borders were more like suggestions.
22. The “Handmaid’s Tale” Popularity: Why were women dressing in red robes? To remind politicians that a dystopian novel is supposed to be a “Warning,” not a “To-Do List.”
23. The La La Land / Moonlight Oscar Mix-up: Why did it happen? Because even the Academy Awards decided to have an “Alternative Fact” moment, just to stay relevant in 2017.
24. The Launch of SpaceX “Falcon Heavy” (Prep): Why were we excited? Because Elon Musk promised to put a car in space, making the government’s “Infrastructure Week” look even more like a long nap.
25. The James Comey Testimony: Why did everyone stay home to watch? Because it was the first time “Lordy, I hope there are tapes” became a national prayer.
26. The United Airlines Passenger Dragging: Why was the video so big? Because it proved that “Customer Service” in 2017 meant “Obey or get re-accommodated by force.”
27. The North Korean Missile Tests: Why was “Little Rocket Man” the new nickname? Because the UN spent the year watching two guys with “Nuclear Buttons” compare sizes on Twitter.
28. The Paradise Papers: Why were they a sequel? To prove that the “Panama Papers” weren’t a fluke—rich people just found a different tropical island to hide their tax bills.
29. The Death of Chris Cornell & Chester Bennington: Why did the music world feel empty? To remind us that “Success” doesn’t cure the “Black Hole Sun” inside, even for those at the top.
30. The “Pussyhat” Legacy: Why did they stay in the news? To prove that if you want to organize a movement, you should probably start with a color-coded dress code.
31. The Resignation of Al Franken: Why did a comedian leave the Senate? Because #MeToo proved that even “The Good Guys” had to answer for their old jokes and their wandering hands.
32. The “Despacito” Fever: Why was it everywhere? Because it was the first time a Spanish song conquered the world since the Macarena, giving politicians a new way to look awkward while trying to clap on beat.
33. The Alabama Special Election (Doug Jones): Why did a Democrat win in Alabama? Because the GOP candidate was banned from the local mall, proving that there are some things even a “Red State” won’t vote for.
34. The Net Neutrality Repeal: Why did Ajit Pai become the most hated man on the internet? Because he killed the “Open Web” while making a video with a fidget spinner, which is the ultimate 2017 way to say “I don’t care.”
35. The First Image of a “Multi-Messenger” Event: Why were astronomers happy? Because they saw a neutron star collision, proving that even the universe is more collaborative than the U.S. Congress.
36. The Final 2017 Political Vibe: Why was it the “Year of the Norm-Breaking”? Because we realized that the “Old Rules” of politics weren’t just being bent—they were being deleted, one character-limited post at a time.