35 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2011 “Winter is Coming & Siri” Edition

In 2011, Thanksgiving was about bracing ourselves for White Walkers, planking on the dining room chairs, and trying to explain to Siri why the gravy was lumpy.

The 2011 Top 10: “Dragons, Drones, and Disappearing Photos”

1. Game of Thrones: Why did Dad refuse to turn on the heat in the dining room? Because he spent the whole night saying “Winter is Coming” and wanted us to feel like we were in Winterfell while eating turkey in our parkas.
2. Siri (iPhone 4S): Why was dinner late? Because Dad spent three hours asking his new assistant, “Siri, where is the stuffing?” and she kept showing him the nearest gas station.
3. Snapchat Launch: Why were the teenagers sending photos of the turkey that vanished after 5 seconds? Because in 2011, they decided family dinner memories were too dangerous to exist longer than a single chew.
4. The Royal Wedding: Why was Mom wearing a giant, structural hat at the table? Because after William and Kate got married, she decided every meal was a state occasion and she was at least the Duchess of Stuffing.
5. Planking: Why was Uncle Jim lying face down and stiff as a board on the kitchen counter? He wasn’t asleep—planking was the biggest trend on the internet, and he wanted an “epic” photo for Facebook.
6. Rebecca Black’s “Friday”: Why was everyone so nervous on Thursday night? Because they were afraid they’d wake up and have to decide which seat to take in the car while singing the most annoying song in history.
7. The End of Harry Potter: Why were the kids crying into their pie? Because “It all ends”—the final movie hit theaters, and a world without new wizard adventures felt bleaker than a table with no cranberry sauce.
8. Charlie Sheen’s “Winning”: Why was Uncle Dave acting so erratic? Because he claimed he had “Tiger Blood” and that eating the turkey was just another part of his master plan called “Winning!”
9. Minecraft (Full Release): Why was the living room so quiet? Because after the official launch, the kids were busy building a digital replica of the dinner table out of blocks instead of picking up a real fork.
10. The Occupy Movement: Why did the younger brother refuse to leave the fridge? Because he declared “Occupy Kitchen” and demanded a fair redistribution of leftovers between the 1% (parents) and the 99% (the siblings).

The Full 2011 Archive (Highlights)

11. Adele’s “21”: Why was everyone crying into the mashed potatoes? Because “Someone Like You” was on every radio station and suddenly everyone missed an ex-turkey from three years ago.
12. The iPad 2: Why was Grandpa so proud? Because his new tablet was thinner, meaning he could read the news and see the turkey in “high speed” (even though he still couldn’t find the ‘Home’ button).
13. Angry Birds Rio: Why was nobody watching the parade? Because everyone was busy launching digital birds at monkeys on their phone screens to save a bunch of cartoon macaws.
14. Thor & Captain America: Why was there a fight in the driveway? Because the cousins couldn’t agree if the turkey should be carved with Thor’s hammer or Captain America’s shield.
15. LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem”: Why was Grandma “shuffling” in the kitchen? Because “Everyday I’m shufflin’” became the official anthem for serving the potato salad.
16. The Kindle Fire: Why was the tech-uncle so excited? Because he bought a color tablet for $199 and claimed it was the end of paper cookbooks (and paper in general).
17. Bridesmaids: Why were the aunts laughing so hard in the kitchen? Because they realized that making dinner for 20 was still less of a disaster than planning a bachelorette party.
18. The Help: Why did everyone suddenly appreciate the chocolate pie? Because after the movie, they were terrified that if they insulted the cook, there might be a “special ingredient” inside.
19. Skype on TV: Why was Grandpa waving at the television? Because they installed Skype on his smart TV and he was convinced his relatives from Chicago were actually living inside his 40-inch plasma.
20. The Smurfs Movie: Why was everything “Smurftastic”? Because the kids added blue food coloring to the whipped cream, making the dessert look like a Smurf-themed crime scene.
21. Steve Jobs’ Passing: Why was the mood so reflective? Because the world lost the creator of the iPhone, and Dad gave a toast about how “One More Thing” (dessert) had a whole new meaning.
22. The “Honey Badger” Video: Why didn’t anyone care about the burnt rolls? Because “Honey Badger don’t care,” and that became the official response to every kitchen fail.
23. Fast Five: Why was Uncle Dave parking so aggressively? Because after the fifth movie, he believed the grocery store parking lot was a high-stakes street race in Rio.
24. The Nintendo 3DS: Why were the kids squinting at the table? Because they were trying to see the 3D effect without glasses, which mostly resulted in headaches and missing their mouths with their forks.
25. Super 8: Why was everyone scared of the train tracks? Because J.J. Abrams made every metallic sound in the distance feel like an alien invasion was about to wreck the kitchen.
26. Google+: Why did no one show up for the digital hangout? Because Google launched a new social network, and while everyone was invited, nobody knew which “Circle” they were supposed to sit in.
27. iCloud Launch: Why was Mom worried the turkey would “float away”? Because Dad tried to explain the cloud to her, and she kept looking nervously out the window at the sky.
28. Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Why wouldn’t anyone give the dog the remote? Because they were afraid the pets would start a revolution if they saw Caesar lead the uprising.
29. Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger”: Why was Dad flapping his arms so weirdly? Because he was convinced he had the moves like Mick Jagger, when he really just looked like he was trying to cool down the gravy.
30. Pinterest Surge: Why were the napkins folded like swans and the candles in mason jars? Because Mom spent a week on Pinterest and everything on the table had to be “DIY.”
31. Modern Warfare 3 vs. Battlefield 3: Why weren’t the cousins talking? Because one thought Activision was king and the other claimed only the Frostbite engine was worthy of rendering turkey steam.
32. New Girl: Why was the aunt acting so “adorkable”? Because Zooey Deschanel made every girl in the family start singing their internal monologues out loud.
33. Chuck Norris Facts: Why did the turkey cook itself? Because Chuck Norris stared it down and the oven got so scared it raised its own temperature to a million degrees.
34. Skyrim: Why wouldn’t anyone get up for seconds? Because they all “took an arrow to the knee” and used it as an excuse to stay on the couch all afternoon.
35. The Final 2011 Vibe: Why was it a year of “Augmented Reality”? Because between magic assistants and digital dragons, a plain old turkey was the only thing that felt real.