35 Hollywood & Acting Jokes: The 2020 “Tenet Inversion, Couch Premiers & Zoom Red Carpets” Edition

In 2020, the most dramatic thing in Hollywood wasn’t a plot twist—it was a release date being moved for the fifth time. It was the year we learned that “theatrical experience” meant fighting your family for the remote, that a Tiger King is more compelling than a movie star, and that if you’re trapped in a time loop, you should probably just stay in bed. If you weren’t busy trying to figure out what was happening in Tenet, you were probably watching a Pixar soul get lost in a jazz club or wondering why Mulan didn’t have a talking dragon.

The 2020 Industry Top 10: “Backward Bullets, Pajamas & Tigers”

1. The Tenet Confusion: Why was everyone asking for subtitles? Because Christopher Nolan decided that if you can understand the dialogue over the sound of a plane crashing into a building, you’re clearly not focusing enough on the “temporal pincer movement.”
2. The Streaming Takeover: Why were movie stars wearing pajamas? Because the “Red Carpet” was replaced by a Zoom call from a living room, and the biggest “Box Office” hit of the week was whatever Netflix’s algorithm decided you should watch while eating cereal.
3. The Soul Existentialism: Why were kids confused? Because Pixar made a movie about a jazz teacher who dies and enters a metaphysical plane of existence, leaving every 7-year-old in America to ask their parents about the meaning of life and the “Great Before.”
4. The Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Why the suit? Because Sacha Baron Cohen realized that in 2020, you don’t need to make up crazy scenarios—you just need to put on a mask, go to a political rally, and wait for people to be themselves.
5. The Wonder Woman 1984 Wind: Why the fanny packs? For a sequel that suggested the best way to save the world in 1984 is to wish upon a magical rock and have a long-dead Chris Pine fly a stolen jet through a fireworks display.
6. The Invisible Man Gaslighting: Why the empty chair? For a horror movie that proved Elisabeth Moss can out-act a literal void, making every person in 2020 suspicious of every suspicious-looking breeze in their own house.
7. The Mulan “No Mushu”: Why the bird? For a live-action remake that traded the singing dragon for “Chi” and a phoenix, proving that if you take the fun out of a Disney classic, you just get a very expensive mountain hike.
8. The Trial of the Chicago 7 Hair: Why Sacha Baron Cohen (again)? For proving that he can be a serious Oscar contender while wearing a wig and a tie-dye shirt, as long as Aaron Sorkin is writing the insults.
9. The Palm Springs Loop: Why Andy Samberg? For a movie that felt incredibly relatable because it was about being stuck in the same day forever, which was basically everyone’s life in 2020.
10. The Extraction Bridge: Why Chris Hemsworth? For a movie that suggested one Australian mercenary can take on an entire city’s underworld as long as he has a 12-minute “one-shot” action sequence and a yellow filter.

The Full 2020 Acting & Industry Archive

11. The Birds of Prey Egg Sandwich: Why Harley Quinn? For proving that the most relatable thing a superhero can do is have a mental breakdown over the perfect breakfast sandwich being dropped on the street.
12. The Sonic the Hedgehog Teeth: Why the redesign? For the only time in history a studio actually listened to the internet and fixed a CGI nightmare before it ruined everyone’s childhood.
13. The Hamilton “Disney+ Room”: Why the “Hamil-fans”? For the year we all sat in our living rooms and watched a Broadway show on a screen, pretending we were in the “room where it happens” (which was actually just the den).
14. The Promising Young Woman Suit: Why Carey Mulligan? For a movie that proved a nurse outfit and a notebook are the ultimate tools for revenge against “nice guys.”
15. The Sound of Metal Silence: Why Riz Ahmed? For a performance so powerful it made everyone appreciate the sound of their own heartbeat and the importance of a good drum kit.
16. The Mank Black-and-White: Why Gary Oldman? For another movie where Gary Oldman plays an old man drinking scotch and talking about the “good old days” of Hollywood.
17. The Nomadland Van: Why Frances McDormand? For a movie that made living in a van look beautiful and peaceful, right up until you realized you actually have to work in an Amazon warehouse.
18. The Onward Quest: Why the “legs”? For a Pixar movie where the dad was just a pair of pants, proving that in 2020, we were happy with any family reunion we could get.
19. The Minari Garden: Why Steven Yeun? For proving that the American Dream is mostly just trying to grow Korean vegetables in Arkansas while your grandma drinks “Mountain Dew.”
20. The Da 5 Bloods Gold: Why the jungle? For Spike Lee proving that the Vietnam War isn’t over as long as there’s gold in the ground and Delroy Lindo is having a monologue.
21. The Enola Holmes Fourth Wall: Why Millie Bobby Brown? For proving that being Sherlock’s sister is 10% deduction and 90% looking at the camera and winking.
22. The Devil All the Time Accents: Why Tom Holland and Robert Pattinson? For a movie that proved if you put enough British actors in the American South, things are going to get very dark and very sweaty.
23. The Father Confusion: Why Anthony Hopkins? For a performance so brilliant and heartbreaking that it made the audience feel exactly as lost and disoriented as the character.
24. The Greyhounds Boat: Why Tom Hanks? For the year Tom Hanks fought a Nazi submarine from a destroyer, proving he is still the king of “being a captain in a stressful situation.”
25. The King of Staten Island: Why Pete Davidson? For a movie that suggested the best way to handle your trauma is to get a lot of tattoos and hang out with firefighters.
26. The Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom: Why Chadwick Boseman? For a final performance so electric and soulful that it felt like he was leaving every ounce of himself on that stage.
27. The New Mutants Delay: Why the release? For a movie that was delayed so many times people thought it was a myth, only for it to finally come out when the world was actually ending.
28. The Old Guard Immortality: Why Charlize Theron? For proving that if you’re an immortal mercenary, your biggest enemy isn’t death—it’s a pharma bro and a lack of good baklava.
29. The Happiest Season Closet: Why Kristen Stewart? For a Christmas rom-com that reminded us that holiday dinners are mostly just awkward secrets and hide-and-seek in the closet.
30. The Another Round Dance: Why Mads Mikkelsen? For proving that a movie about four teachers being “slightly drunk” all the time is a tragedy, until Mads starts doing jazz-ballet.
31. The One Night in Miami: Why the hotel? For proving that four legends (Ali, X, Cooke, Brown) in a small room can be more explosive than a $200 million action movie.
32. The Host Zoom Séance: Why the laptop? For the most 2020 horror movie ever made—filmed entirely on Zoom and featuring a demon that ruins a group call.
33. The Bad Boys for Life: Why the timing? For a movie that came out right before the world shut down, making it the highest-grossing film of the year by sheer luck and “One Last Time” energy.
34. The Eurovision Fire Saga: Why the “Jaja Ding Dong”? For a movie that was a ridiculous love letter to the song contest that made everyone in 2020 sing about a small town in Iceland.
35. The 2020 Final Industry Vibe: Why the “Pause”? Because it was the year Hollywood realized it wasn’t “essential,” but the stories we told on our screens were the only thing keeping us sane in our living rooms.