35 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2018 “Infinity War & Flossing” Edition

In 2018, Independence Day was a “Survival Challenge.” We were all wondering if we’d survive the “Snap,” trying to learn the “In My Feelings” dance challenge without falling out of a moving car, and celebrating the fact that Black Panther finally brought Wakanda to our backyards. It was a year of peak Battle Royale energy, the rise of “Baby Shark,” and the realization that a simple audio clip could divide the nation more than politics.

The 2018 Independence Top 10: “Snaps & Shuffles”

1. The Avengers: Infinity War Trauma: Why was the 2018 BBQ so empty? Because half the guests “didn’t feel so good” and turned into dust right before the burgers were served.
2. The “Yanny vs. Laurel” Debate: Why was the 2018 parade so loud? Because half the town heard the marching band playing “The Star-Spangled Banner,” while the other half was convinced they were playing a podcast about audio frequencies.
3. The Fortnite Dance Invasion: Why was the 4th of July so “animated”? Because you couldn’t look at a firework without seeing a kid in the background doing the “Orange Justice” or “The Floss.”
4. The “In My Feelings” Challenge: Why was the 4th of July traffic so weird? Because Kiki didn’t tell us if she loved us, and everyone was jumping out of their cars to dance to Drake in the middle of the parade.
5. The Black Panther Pride: Why was the 2018 BBQ “Forever”? Because “Wakanda Forever” became the official salute for anyone passing the mustard.
6. The “Baby Shark” Curse: Why was the 2018 pool party so repetitive? Because a song about a family of sharks entered our brains in July and refused to leave until approximately 2024.
7. The A Star Is Born Teasers: Why was the 4th so “Shallow”? Because Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper were about to make “Haaa-ah-ah-ah-aaah” the only acceptable way to scream during the grand finale.
8. The “God’s Plan” Charity: Why was the Dad being so generous? Because Drake made “giving away money and groceries” cool, so Dad gave the neighbor an extra hot dog and filmed it for his Instagram Story.
9. The A Quiet Place Rules: Why was the BBQ so silent? Because the movie made us terrified that if we crunched on a potato chip too loudly, a monster would emerge from the bushes and take our ribs.
10. The Nintendo Labo Launch: Why was the 4th so “Cardboard”? Because Nintendo convinced us that paying $70 for high-tech pizza boxes was the future of gaming.

The Full 2018 Fourth of July Archive

11. The “Havana” Camila Cabello: Why was the 4th so “Ooh-na-na”? Because half of our hearts were in Havana, while the other half were just trying to find a spot in the shade.
12. The Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom: Why was the 4th so “Volcanic”? Because Chris Pratt was back, making every backyard grill flare-up look like a prehistoric extinction event.
13. The “Nice For What” Bounce: Why was the 2018 BBQ so “New Orleans”? Because Lauryn Hill’s sampled voice made everyone feel like they were starring in a high-speed music video while setting up the tent.
14. The Deadpool 2 Humor: Why was the 4th so “X-Force”? Because Ryan Reynolds proved that “luck” is a superpower, especially when it comes to not getting burned by a sparkler.
15. The “The Middle” Zedd & Maren Morris: Why was the 4th so “In-between”? Because this song played in every Target, grocery store, and BBQ in America simultaneously for the entire summer.
16. The Incredibles 2 Wait: Why was the 4th so “Long-awaited”? Because it took 14 years for Jack-Jack to return, and we all realized that “Math is Math!” even when calculating the firework budget.
17. The “Meant to Be” Bebe Rexha: Why was the 4th so “Destined”? Because if the burger was “meant to be” medium-rare, it’ll be medium-rare; just “ride with it.”
18. The Ocean’s 8 Heist: Why were the moms being so sneaky? Because Sandra Bullock and Rihanna made “stealing the last piece of pie” look like a sophisticated Met Gala operation.
19. The “I Like It” Cardi B: Why was the 4th so “Spanglish”? Because Cardi, Bad Bunny, and J Balvin made “I like dollars, I like diamonds” the official anthem for anyone holding a sparkler.
20. The Solo: A Star Wars Story: Why was the 4th so “Underworld”? Because we finally learned how Han got his last name, and why the “Kessel Run” takes 12 parsecs (or 12 minutes in the BBQ line).
21. The “This Is America” Childish Gambino: Why was the 4th so “Thinky”? Because Donald Glover made the most talked-about video of the year, making everyone analyze the hidden meanings of the parade floats.
22. The Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again: Why was the 4th so “Cher-ified”? Because the sequel proved that you’re never too old to wear platform boots and sing ABBA to a grilled cheese.
23. The “New Light” John Mayer: Why was the 4th so “Low-budget”? Because the music video made “looking like a dork in front of a green screen” the coolest aesthetic of 2018.
24. The Mission: Impossible – Fallout: Why was the Dad running across the roof? Because Tom Cruise did his own stunts, and Dad thought jumping off the garage was the only way to get a better view of the fireworks.
25. The “No Tears Left to Cry”: Why was the 4th “Upside Down”? Because Ariana Grande’s video made us all feel a little dizzy while trying to hang the patriotic bunting.
26. The Ant-Man and the Wasp: Why was the 4th so “Microscopic”? Because the “Quantum Realm” was the only place we could hide from the mosquitoes.
27. The “High Hopes” Panic! At The Disco: Why was the 4th so “Ambitious”? Because Brendon Urie told us to have high hopes, even if our “Grand Finale” was just three fountains and a smoke bomb.
28. The Christopher Robin Nostalgia: Why was the 4th so “Pooh-ish”? Because Disney reminded us that “doing nothing often leads to the very best something,” which is a great excuse for a post-BBQ nap.
29. The “Girls Like You” Maroon 5: Why was the guest list so huge? Because Adam Levine invited every famous woman in the world to be in his video, making our BBQ look a bit under-staffed.
30. The The Meg Sharks: Why was the 4th so “Large”? Because 2018 was the year of “Jason Statham vs. a 75-foot shark,” making the pool feel a lot less safe.
31. The “One Kiss” Dua Lipa: Why was the 4th so “Summer-Chic”? Because Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa provided the official “90s-throwback” beat for anyone wearing retro sunglasses.
32. The Bohemian Rhapsody (Teasers): Why was everyone doing “Galileo”? Because the Queen biopic was coming, and “Mama” was the only person allowed to touch the grill.
33. The “Lucid Dreams” Juice WRLD: Why was the 4th so “Melodic”? Because we were “still seeing shadows in our room” from the bright firework flashes.
34. The Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Teasers): Why were there so many Spider-Men? Because the multiverse was opening, and we all realized that anyone can wear the mask (and flip a burger).
35. The 2018 Final Vibe: Why was it a “Battle Royale” 4th? Because we were “Flossing,” “Dabbing,” and “Snapping” our way into a future where the only thing more viral than a dance move was our search for “Yanny.”